FLsunshine
New Here
I'm struggling to get through my day because I have so many triggers. My main triggers are the sounds my children make (I have 4 kids 8 and under), the loud sounds around me (I live next to a 6 lane road and have a boat repair shop in my backyard), and driving anywhere. The hyper vigilance is exhausting! We used to go places every day - the park, dance classes, soccer, library, etc. but I can't bring myself to go anymore. There are 1 million people in my county. In addition to regular traffic, we have pedestrians, bicyclists, tourists, and traffic lights every 20 ft etc to contend with. I am a hot mess by the time we even reach our destination and then I continue to be hyper vigilant watching my 4 kids. Even though events or places initially sound good, I end up not enjoying them at all. Then it takes hours or days for me to calm down from one supposedly simple event.
I can't relax in my bedroom because it backs up to the road. The windows even vibrate when loud vehicles pass. The boat repair shop is constantly using power tools and revving up engines. My white noise machine doesn't stifle everything out. There was a guy killed at the intersection of our road. I have heard several car accidents while standing in my back yard. The sirens going back and forth on the road are extremely triggering. There are days when I hear them 8 times. I've had to call the cops on people who appeared mentally unstable/intoxicated several times. One day, a woman stepped out into my lane as I was driving. I had to swerve into the other lane as she just stood there yelling and shaking her fist at me in the middle of the road. No clue who she was.
I am a SAHM/homeschooling mom of 4 kids. I can't escape all of their noises. Any shriek, sudden movement, spin, jump, arm flap, even laughter, triggers me. The rushes exhaust me and I find myself wanting to escape more than I want to sit down and work with them on school stuff. I know I should be doing more with them. We tried public school last year but some events that happened in the 5 days they were there led me to believe that I couldn't count on some of the teachers/principal. So we pulled them out.We can't afford private school. Our area is full of educational events and places. I have this vision of taking my kids to the places to learn but my vision and reality are disconnected.
I went to see a therapist but she just kept minimizing the feelings I had. I also get triggered majorly in grocery stores from people running into me with their carts, reaching over me, moving my cart, etc. Her advice was to put myself in their shoes. I just can't do that. I did look into another therapist and support group. I want help in the worst way. I can't keep living every day with trigger after trigger. There is a group that meets for free but I am nervous because it's downtown where the worst traffic is and pedestrians cross the street wherever and whenever they want.
My husband and I decided we will sell the house and look for another in a quieter place. I know that won't take all of my triggers away but wondered if it would be better to start therapy in a quieter place with less environmental triggers or stay where we are and get therapy while being constantly triggered? We were also thinking of finding a place with a good school district to put the kids in school. The thing is, I know what I don't want but I don't know where to go from here. Any place I look at on Zillow, I am questioning the safety of it - sink hole activity, crime, population, proximity to neighbors/lakes, even the weather, etc. I have a habit of immediately running to another place when I feel threatened and sometimes, I put myself in a worst position. I don't want to keep running but I also want some peace and quiet in both my head and my environment. Just not sure what steps I need to take to get there. Do I move or start therapy first? Any ideas on how to lessen the triggers?
I can't relax in my bedroom because it backs up to the road. The windows even vibrate when loud vehicles pass. The boat repair shop is constantly using power tools and revving up engines. My white noise machine doesn't stifle everything out. There was a guy killed at the intersection of our road. I have heard several car accidents while standing in my back yard. The sirens going back and forth on the road are extremely triggering. There are days when I hear them 8 times. I've had to call the cops on people who appeared mentally unstable/intoxicated several times. One day, a woman stepped out into my lane as I was driving. I had to swerve into the other lane as she just stood there yelling and shaking her fist at me in the middle of the road. No clue who she was.
I am a SAHM/homeschooling mom of 4 kids. I can't escape all of their noises. Any shriek, sudden movement, spin, jump, arm flap, even laughter, triggers me. The rushes exhaust me and I find myself wanting to escape more than I want to sit down and work with them on school stuff. I know I should be doing more with them. We tried public school last year but some events that happened in the 5 days they were there led me to believe that I couldn't count on some of the teachers/principal. So we pulled them out.We can't afford private school. Our area is full of educational events and places. I have this vision of taking my kids to the places to learn but my vision and reality are disconnected.
I went to see a therapist but she just kept minimizing the feelings I had. I also get triggered majorly in grocery stores from people running into me with their carts, reaching over me, moving my cart, etc. Her advice was to put myself in their shoes. I just can't do that. I did look into another therapist and support group. I want help in the worst way. I can't keep living every day with trigger after trigger. There is a group that meets for free but I am nervous because it's downtown where the worst traffic is and pedestrians cross the street wherever and whenever they want.
My husband and I decided we will sell the house and look for another in a quieter place. I know that won't take all of my triggers away but wondered if it would be better to start therapy in a quieter place with less environmental triggers or stay where we are and get therapy while being constantly triggered? We were also thinking of finding a place with a good school district to put the kids in school. The thing is, I know what I don't want but I don't know where to go from here. Any place I look at on Zillow, I am questioning the safety of it - sink hole activity, crime, population, proximity to neighbors/lakes, even the weather, etc. I have a habit of immediately running to another place when I feel threatened and sometimes, I put myself in a worst position. I don't want to keep running but I also want some peace and quiet in both my head and my environment. Just not sure what steps I need to take to get there. Do I move or start therapy first? Any ideas on how to lessen the triggers?
