Poll While Triggered/Anxious - Can You Tolerate Physical Affection?

[xxarmywifexx]

The way I see it.

I can't speak for my DH with PTSD but I can tell you what I feel when he is triggered. He hates to be touched by me...the kids. He just wants to be left alone. It makes me feel unwanted. But this poll is shining a light to it. Thanks :)

-xxarmywifexx

 

[Mina]

It really depends. There are two versions of me when I'm triggered (not to hijack, but anyone else like that?)

I have the scared-little-girl-triggered me, who wants to be held, and feel safe and protected. This version is okay with being held by my husband, or by my pseudo-mom, and is likely to burst into tears when they do so.

The other triggered me is very agitated and hypervigilant and maintains a large space bubble which no one breaches. Definitely no affection or contact.

However, at no time am I okay with physical contact from anyone that I don't expect or see coming...even an innocent pat on the shoulder is like flipping an "on" switch...I just about jump about of my skin and stay anxious for a while.

 

[Auburngirl]

it depends on the type of touch. A hug would help, but I need everything to be very slow and very calm.

 

[goingonhope]

I selected other because all four statements are true for me. I have many different types of triggers that vary in their intensities and the type of trauma and/or injury behind the trigger, so therefore all statements are true for me at different times. Also, some injury and trauma has healed, some is yet to have healed and one particular one, I'm not sure if it will ever heal enough that I can tolerate any affection whatsoever when anxiously triggered by it.

I simply cannot stand anyone or anything abruptly moving near or around my eyes and face.

Hope

 

[shiraz]

I have always hated being touched, my earliest memories are of my dad saying 'don't touch her - she doesn't like to be touched' ... wish he had taken his own advice. That aside, I was really anxious about not being able to accept touch from a man, but the most amazing thing happened, I met a man who is extremely affectionate and within no time at all, i couldn't get enough of his touch - he has the right energy for me - he gives his love away in his touch. When I am triggered I bolt, he has learnt to grab onto me and hold me tight till I calm down. I struggle to break away from him, all the time praying that he won't let go - his holding me is the one thing that brings me back.

 

[sirsir]

Since touch is a trigger for me. I must say I avoid being touched. Only my wife can touch me and some times my kids. I bearly even shake hands any more. I tell other people it is because of germs. The real reason is I don't like being touched. If I'm bumped in a crowd I get ready to fight. Several time I have stopped just short of hitting someone for something completely innocent.

 

[Salu]

Sometimes I can´t stand being touched when I´m not triggered (I´m usually rather calm nowdays to be honest). But the problem is that I really would love to be touched, I do like being close. Just can´t stand it.

 

[Acer]

I'm an other because when I am triggered, part of the triggering for me is feeling distant and unloved/liked. So, I NEED to be touched/held but I won't for the life of me seek it. I need it and everything gets worse and escalates until I get it. Odd.

 

[UmightKnowMe]

I long for someone to hold me and make it all better and comfort me but there is no one right now. One time after I did a real hard therapy thing my therapist gave me a hug, I thought I was going to cry. But yeah...there is a big empty pit of neeeed in me. Its funny...sometimes when I am triggered I hear my mind saying "I want my mommy" again and again. And I never ever wanted my mommy. ??

 

[stephanie]

I don't like being touched when triggered at all. Makes my skin crawl. Also, since the shooting, I don't really like to be touched much at all.

 

[NarcSis]

When triggered I often hug my husband...more like CLING to him, he grounds me. I crawl onto his lap, put my hands on his chest and he bear hugs me. He is the "rock" to keep me on earth. Kissing, other forms of touch, NO cannot do that. Need the shelter of the hug.
If the trigger is particularly STRONG, I react by isolating, rocking alone, trying to hide. Its hard for him then, I guess he feels helpless.

 

[TLight]

When I"m triggered, I trust no one. Being touched, even when I've allowed it, I can't feel it to be genuine. Last time I'm thinking of is with my last bf.......he never loved me, he was just using me as a 'mommy' 'slave', etc. while he sat around stoned and watched me slave away, battle with the PTSD and then blame me for being emotional and self-pitying.
Anyway, I was in the midst of a terribly painful flashback once and I asked him to help me by doing the tapping of EMDR on me........I got a glance at one point and he was doing it but watching the football game on the TV.

That's the last time I ever asked for comfort from someone. I just don't buy it when people even say they care.

Last time, my therapist asked if she could hold me while I was being intensely triggered.........I said f**cking no. She'd lost my trust just before that. I think now, I might hurt someone if they feigned affection...........