Who Has Uncovered Repressed Memories?

[Seeking_Nirvana]

The memories have already started so I might as well finish what I started.

My initial memory was when I was pregnant 8 years ago, and my husband was lying behind me and kissing my ear. I had a weird feeling that overwhelmed me, and moved out of that position into another one. I thought those weird feelings were due to being raped when I was 15. I have that memory and I know what happened in detail. So these vague feelings are nothing like the rape. These are different in that they are usually someone behind me breathing in my ear with alcohol on their breath.

I just realized these vague feelings were molestation from repressed childhood memories and not the rape about 4-5 months ago. I called a few relatives and they told me that they "heard" my uncle molested me.

When I was 25 I had a therapist tell me he thought I had been molested based on my symptoms as a child prior to the rape, and I asked my sister about it and she said I wasn't molested so I put it out of my mind until 4 years ago when my dreams indicated I was molested. I didn't believe it and just kept denying it until I couldn't deny any more. Now, I still try to deny it because I have no direct memory of it, but my body tells me otherwise.

I'm in therapy and if a memory does surface I'm sure I can get through it because it won't be a surprise attack or anything. My grandfather molested my mom and her siblings so it runs in the family.

Thanks for everyone's input
Tammy

 

[healing007]

This is my first post here. Thank you to everyone who has shared their experiences.

I drive myself crazy with not being able to remember the abuse and my childhood - Kindergarten and younger. My sister has the memories - I'm in them. I have obsessed over the fact that I cannot remember. I think to myself, "Maybe if I could just remember, then I'd know he really did do it..."

I have found that when I try to force things, it leaves me feeling tired and angry. This is just my experience.

I've watched my sister have the memories and want to kill herself. She has gone through much healing. The suicidal attempts are pretty much non-existent for the time being.

I guess I'll just let the memories come on their own time. It's hard!