Poll Who Traumatized You

[Loveneverfails]

The perpetrator was checked in to the hospital for Schizophrenia, he killed 2 women, decapitated one, slit the other's throat ear to ear so deep I could see her spinal cord.

There are no words for what you've been through. I can only say that I find your response and your fears to be completely understandable in every way. I hope you are able to find help in some way that allows you to feel relatively safe. Whatever you have to do to get through life until then, you do.

 

[Deleted member 16543]

Odd how you get it yet the Psychiatrist doesn't, he tells me if you can't check yourself in I can't help you and that I should just think about other things that I concentrate too much on it and need to focus on other things, it's all in my mind, I need to use my realistic mind and focus on relaxing techniques. He just gives me seroquel and wellbutrin, and says I need to get over it, after all it's been since May of this year...

 

[BlueOrange]

Many people over a long time. The worst: people desperate to do the right thing for me, who forced wrong things onto me as a result of their good intentions.

 

[Deleted member 16543]

K, this was my 2nd post in the whole site and was sent a notice of a reminder of forum policies, re-read the entire thing and can't find where the correlation between what I posted above and what the rule was that I broke??? Can anyone tell me where in this post above did I break a rule???????????????????????????

disappointed in this site!!! GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like I'm being scolded and for what??? If they think I broke a rule they should tell me what rule EXACTLY it was, not just refer me to re-read the entire policy!!!

 

[Abstract]

Not sure why but I couldn't seem to find a way to vote.

 

[Abstract]

Can anyone tell me where in this post above did I break a rule

It is obviously not my place to answer but it is sure to be grammar issues. Texting style language and grammar are not allowed here as everything is geared to make it as easy as possible for a traumatised brain to follow. You certainly won't have helped the situation with your last post!
Welcome.

 

[Privateer]

I did it to myself, as far as I'm concerned.

Got myself a job not suited to my personality and my brain broke.

 

[cherryblossom]

If they think I broke a rule they should tell me what rule EXACTLY it was, not just refer me to re-read the entire policy!!!

If you look at the bottom of the post it states, that it was edited by me (cherryblossom), and then it states exactly the reason why. This information is only visible to you (the poster), and all staff. I won't restate the reason why your post was edited, because it is already visible to you in the post.

I'm sorry you are disappointed with this site, but the rules and legal policy are clearly defined when you join the site, and you agreed to all those regulations at registration.

Staff are not here to silence you, we just request that you regard the rules you agreed to upon registering. Hence, if the forum rules aren't followed, you get sent a notification, which helps you, and staff in the future.

Shouting and complaining isn't particularly helpful to anyone, but if you have any further questions, please use the [DLMURL="https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/forums/help-desk.28/"]Help Desk[/DLMURL], to raise your queries, rather than take threads off topic as you have done here. Staff, and other members are always happy to try to help new members.

 

[Britt.f7]

I tried to narrow things down, but I really don't know. They could have had drug, alcohol, issues, or a mental disease, I truly don't know. They were people I knew, but the first one was a babysitter. It was the 70's I have no idea if she was doing anything. The group of boys? I have no idea. The one who initiated it was suppose to be a friend. My dad drank. My stepmom drank. My mother may have had mental issues, nothing she would admit to while raising me. And the accident of my friends left me with survivor guilt, but I wouldn't call it ptsd.

 

[Core]

He did it in his sleep, which is "okay", because of obvious reasons. While awake, however, he did nothing to prevent it from happening again, and he had no understanding of how it may affect me. This, with other things, makes me pretty sure he has a seriously impaired abillity to experience sympathy and empathy, which means he did not understand the impact of what was happening.

 

[safenow]

I had multiple traumas. However, for this poll I only listed the ones done by criminals. Although, in my opinion now, the others should have been called criminals as well, however, they never went to jail.

1) My step-mother went to prison for murdering my sister and torturing me. I was rescued about age 5-6 years old. I had been a feral child for over a year when I was rescued. A neighbor called the police. Even at the trial, she never said she was sorry. However, I feel she was mentally ill to have done the things she did to us over the four years she had us. She died in prison.

2) My uncle (never went to jail) was into satanism and "trained me" from the time I was about 8-9 years old in how to pleasure men and women. He had other foster children and did it to all of us. Over the years, I'd run away and the courts kept sending me back to him. He programmed me to not ever tell what they were doing. He didn't think what he did was wrong. When his wife was dying, she told us she never would have done those things if he hadn't made her. But I doubt she was telling the truth. They made a lot of money selling us. Before he died, he never said he was sorry.

3) Four men broke into my home and over the course of 3-4 days and nights they repeatedly raped, sodomized, tortured me. One of them, at the end of the first day, while the others were not in the room apologized to me and left the house. The others did not. My neighbor called the police and they were arrested. Only got 15 years and have since gotten out.

4) My last husband was a murderer and pedophile of his children by his first marriage. He abused me repeatedly after I left him when I found out. When he learned I told the FBI where to find the bones of people he'd murdered, he put a contract out on me. I lived in terror for many years, and when he learned where I lived about 20 years ago I've been triggered since then. He never repented for anything he'd done. Those whom he paid to kill me hurt others in trying to hurt me. I still carry guilt and shame over that.

5) A man came into a 7-11 and killed everyone but me. I got shot, but I survived. He showed no remorse. Frankly, I think he must have been on drugs to do what he did in such a cold blooded fashion. The kid behind the counter was giving him money when he got shot.

6) A man broke into my home and after raping me, I scared him and he ran off, yelling that he'd be back. When he started talking how pretty my little girl was, I became a mother bear clawing at him and trying to rip his face off. I don't know if he ever felt bad about what he did or not. I left town.

There have been others, but I don't consider them as bad as these.

 

[Changing4Best]

I answered the criminal bahavior one, as my abuser was a pedophile. He also beat his wife, beat his children and then in public was the perfect gentleman! No one knew and no one in my family ever pressed charges against him, as all these things were swept under the rug by folks when it all happened.

These days, I bet, someone would have reported him and he would have served time. My cousin, one of his other grandchildren, was arrested and served time for getting a 14 yr old girl pregnant. I wrote to him while he was in prison and he really seemed to have had NO clue that he was at fault. He blamed the mother for allowing them to go into her bedroom and close the door! He said that, that was like hading him a licence to do as he pleased. Interestingly enough, he also had slept with the girl's mother!!!

When I wrote to him, I did not try to correct him. I honestly did not know WHAT to say, and I guess I was too flabberghasted to deal with it, having been a victim myself. None of the rest of my family has forgiven him, but I have. I know that somehow, it is in his genes, it may as well have been learned behavior from his father, I don't know... All I know is that someone has to liove him, someone has to try to reach him and someone has to try to help him. I'm the only one available to speak to him who has the guts to do so, so we are Facebook friends and email occasionally.

However, I still have never addressed the issue with him, because really it would be too traumatic for me to do so, I am sure. He cannot afford therapy either, but I think the prison term is probably enough of a detterant to curb any further crimes on his part. That, and his Probation or is it a Parole Officer combined should suffice.

My abuser/molester died at the age of 102. I have forgiven him too, as I am betting it was learned bahavior for him as well as hereditary. Thankfully my parents barred him from my life when I was 6 years old or so. So at least things went quite well after that for me, thank God! None the less, my daddy, his son, was emotionally abusive to me, cussing me out a lot and occasionally metting out some heavier than needed discipline. A couple of times he was physically abusive, but not enough really to have considered him abusive alltogether. He was a frustrated man, working far below his capacity, feeling belittled being a plumber, when really he could have been so much more. His grades in college were great, in the 90s, but he had to quit college to support us kids and my mom, and to live at the level of comfort to which he was accustomed and wanted. Meanwhile my mom was a world famous computer analyst, during a time when most mothers did not work. I think he felt eclipsed by her success, in fact he must have. None the less, he never said a word about it to my knowledge. And plumbers do make great money! Anyway... I probably drifted off topic here a bit, sorry!