Whole world caving in on me

[mikeRVN]

First off I am NOT suicidal. I would have liked to post in Introductions but I can't just yet. Abbreviated: Combat wounded RVN Vet, 25th ID, M60 gunner on track, 11D Armor Recon, wounded Tet 68 by RPG, mostly saw duty in Tay Ninh area.

Full blown panic for me. My wife, age 72, has had Breast Cancer for the last 7 years. They have managed to keep in under control until now. She now has brain cancer of the lining of the brain (Dura). Treatment is sparse and has 4 to 6 months left. She's been my rock through all my years of PTSD. My home and my wife were my "safe spot" somewhere where I could hide from the world. I got fired from many jobs, road rages, etc, you folks know. My wife was always there to support me now she'll be gone. I've been raging at god lately. I am soooo sad and depressed. No matter the levels of depression suicide would not be an option; it would be an insult to my dear wife. As typical with PTSD I have very few if any friends so I have to pour my guts out here. Sorry about that.

 

[Gs172003]

First off I am NOT suicidal. I would have liked to post in Introductions but I can't just yet. Abbreviated: Combat wounded RVN Vet, 25th ID, M60 gunner on track, 11D Armor Recon, wounded Tet 68 by RPG, mostly saw duty in Tay Ninh area.

Full blown panic for me. My wife, age 72, has had Breast Cancer for the last 7 years. They have managed to keep in under control until now. She now has brain cancer of the lining of the brain (Dura). Treatment is sparse and has 4 to 6 months left. She's been my rock through all my years of PTSD. My home and my wife were my "safe spot" somewhere where I could hide from the world. I got fired from many jobs, road rages, etc, you folks know. My wife was always there to support me now she'll be gone. I've been raging at god lately. I am soooo sad and depressed. No matter the levels of depression suicide would not be an option; it would be an insult to my dear wife. As typical with PTSD I have very few if any friends so I have to pour my guts out here. Sorry about that.

first off welcome. I'm sorry for why you are here. We are here to listen any time you need us.

 

[DharmaGirl]

You have found your tribe. I'm so sorry for your wife, I hope you can get some counselling for your grief. I have lost both my brothers and it was a long road for me.

 

[Friday]

Damn sorry for what brings you here, but damn glad you found us.

Welcome aboard

 

[Ronin]

Hi Mike,

Sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are spilling your guts about it here, quite brave.

Thanks for reaching out.

 

[scout86]

Welcome to the forum.

I'm SO sorry about your wife! That feeling like the world is caving in around you....one of my least favorite feelings in the world. I hope this place can be of some help.

 

[ChildofGod]

Welcome. I am truly sorry about your wife. Maybe you could write a note to her everyday .peaceful and loving thoughts your way, if that's okay with you.

 

[mikeRVN]

Today my wife and I met with her radiologist; she has just a couple months to live. To say the least I'm crushed, worst day of my life. Live together with someone for 48 years then, suddenly it's all over! I recently saw a group of older guys meeting for breakfast, maybe that would help. After she passes I'll need to get out of the house, anything. Thanks all you kind folks for your kind understanding words.

 

[Tinyflame]

Hugs to you @mikeRVN , if that's ok. :hug:

 

[katz]

First off I am NOT suicidal. I would have liked to post in Introductions but I can't just yet. Abbreviated: Combat wounded RVN Vet, 25th ID, M60 gunner on track, 11D Armor Recon, wounded Tet 68 by RPG, mostly saw duty in Tay Ninh area.

Full blown panic for me. My wife, age 72, has had Breast Cancer for the last 7 years. They have managed to keep in under control until now. She now has brain cancer of the lining of the brain (Dura). Treatment is sparse and has 4 to 6 months left. She's been my rock through all my years of PTSD. My home and my wife were my "safe spot" somewhere where I could hide from the world. I got fired from many jobs, road rages, etc, you folks know. My wife was always there to support me now she'll be gone. I've been raging at god lately. I am soooo sad and depressed. No matter the levels of depression suicide would not be an option; it would be an insult to my dear wife. As typical with PTSD I have very few if any friends so I have to pour my guts out here. Sorry about that.

Welcome to the forum.

 

[DharmaGirl]

Perhaps you could look on MeetUp.com to see if their are groups you can join after the worst of your grief has passed. Please keep us posted on how you are doing. We care.