To cut a long story short, I was in a very abusive relationship with my daughter's father. He was emotionally abusive, kept nagging me for sex until I gave in, his Mum went to Social Services about something I didn't even do and Social Services knew she was lying, my ex said that he hopes I get my daughter taken from me then denied he said that the following week, he cheated, he held me so I couldn't move, sometimes didn't allow me to borrow his car to go to the hospital for scans when I was pregnant, attempted to put words in my head about my family, got angry when I saw my friends, isolated me, and the list goes on. I've been diagnosed with PTSD by my doctor and I am on tablets for it. The examples I've described are only a few of the things of what he did.
I broke up with my daughters father about a year and a half ago. I've only had one boyfriend since him. The boyfriend since my daughters father was lovely, but when he got drunk he was a bully, told me I was nothing, even though he knew what my daughters father had done to me. When he was sober, he disowned me, and threatened physically to hit my stomach, basically he physically moved his hand but purposely didn't hit me, it was to scare me. I broke up with him about 6 months ago.
The boyfriend before my daughters father was perverted. It creeps me out thinking about it. One story was when I was visiting him, baring in mind he was from a different country, I was on Skype to my Mum. It was early in the morning so we were still in bed. When I was in the middle of saying bye to my Mum, he started doing things to me down there, luckily my Mum didn't see but it just makes me feel dirty when I think about it. He used to keep a knife in his room which scared me so I'm glad I'm not with him anymore. He has recently tried contacting me on phone and Facebook, so I've blocked his number but for a second time he's made a new Facebook page to try and add me.
Back to my original reason to post, lately I've noticed I haven't actually been a very nice person. To my friends and family I am, but to strangers I'm not. For example the shop below my flat are currently turning part of their shop into flats, they've started work early a few times, about 0700AM and I've been rude to them about it. I've taken it far as reporting it to the council. Another example is if I'm driving, and someone cuts me up or drives slow, I'll shout at them out the window and call them names. Another example is, when I was at a shopping centre, someone trying to offer leaflets and trying to stop me to take a questionnaire about I don't know walked up to me and started a conversation. I was so rude, instead of saying 'no thanks', I said 'no I'm not interested, I've just paid for my parking ticket now bugger off!'
Why am I being like this? Am I taking my PTSD out on people? I cannot be polite unless someone is polite to me. If someone does one thing it triggers me. If a man doesn't respect me, I get angry. Is it because my past 3 exes haven't respected me? I can't work out whether I'm more rude to men than women, but at a guess I'm more rude to men. I'm not like this with my friends or family though.
I broke up with my daughters father about a year and a half ago. I've only had one boyfriend since him. The boyfriend since my daughters father was lovely, but when he got drunk he was a bully, told me I was nothing, even though he knew what my daughters father had done to me. When he was sober, he disowned me, and threatened physically to hit my stomach, basically he physically moved his hand but purposely didn't hit me, it was to scare me. I broke up with him about 6 months ago.
The boyfriend before my daughters father was perverted. It creeps me out thinking about it. One story was when I was visiting him, baring in mind he was from a different country, I was on Skype to my Mum. It was early in the morning so we were still in bed. When I was in the middle of saying bye to my Mum, he started doing things to me down there, luckily my Mum didn't see but it just makes me feel dirty when I think about it. He used to keep a knife in his room which scared me so I'm glad I'm not with him anymore. He has recently tried contacting me on phone and Facebook, so I've blocked his number but for a second time he's made a new Facebook page to try and add me.
Back to my original reason to post, lately I've noticed I haven't actually been a very nice person. To my friends and family I am, but to strangers I'm not. For example the shop below my flat are currently turning part of their shop into flats, they've started work early a few times, about 0700AM and I've been rude to them about it. I've taken it far as reporting it to the council. Another example is if I'm driving, and someone cuts me up or drives slow, I'll shout at them out the window and call them names. Another example is, when I was at a shopping centre, someone trying to offer leaflets and trying to stop me to take a questionnaire about I don't know walked up to me and started a conversation. I was so rude, instead of saying 'no thanks', I said 'no I'm not interested, I've just paid for my parking ticket now bugger off!'
Why am I being like this? Am I taking my PTSD out on people? I cannot be polite unless someone is polite to me. If someone does one thing it triggers me. If a man doesn't respect me, I get angry. Is it because my past 3 exes haven't respected me? I can't work out whether I'm more rude to men than women, but at a guess I'm more rude to men. I'm not like this with my friends or family though.
