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Why Did You Choose That Username And/Or That Avatar (Or No Avatar At All)?

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Angel is an abbreviation of Angela. Angel is the name my mother, father, brothers and sister still call me. I went for many years trying to be "Angela," sober, sensible, organized, controlled, unemotional... think sensible gray wool suits and conservative shoes.

Angel is the name of the happy child I lost and want to be again.

I've wanted to be a writer (and written obsessively) since I was five or six. Someday I may still be. For now, I'm mostly only published in a stack of notebooks three feet high I keep in a bin under my bed. Angel2write is a promise to myself of who I hope 2 be someday.
 
My currant avi is "Courage" A nude bull fight scene at night. Courage in many aspects 1:To not be afraid of a bull, 2: To be free of oneself and not feel shame in being nude, 3: Having no fear, 4: peace of mind ~for this fight is not to the death of the bull but to the death of everything holding back.
 
I have used the name Ragdoll for the past few years. I felt like I was being pulled from so many directions as a ragdoll would when being played with. I like the picture of this ragdoll. Although Zombie like, she's looks like a bit how I feel - half alive and half Zombied out. It's funny how I started using this name just about when the abuse from work was happening.....
I also use clownface in my email address. I felt at the beginning of being diagnosed with PTSD I was forever having to change my face of emotions. ie. have a panic attack due to flashback, followed with fear and tears and then try and contain myself take children to their sports.
 
In the past I was working on m private pilot's license and I came up with "caliaviator" back then. Cali (meaning californian) and well, you can guess aviator. The money ran dry so I'm getting my B.S. in Aviation Business Administration. I may not have the means to fly but I can at least contribute in another way towards the profession I love.
 
Sqweak Is actually my blogger name, I've been using it for 2 years. I originally wanted Squee like, Squee from Johnny the homicidal manic. I can relate to the scared little curious kid and I still identify that way. But atlas apparently there are hundreds of thousands of squees and squeaks' that identify that way or have read the comic book, lol. So out of frustration of wanting a user name that I thought fit my voice and overall happy facade I replaced the U with a W and hoped people would recognize it as intentional for individuality sake and it isn't one of my many dyslexic typos.

My avatar is actually a screen shot I’ve also been using for the same length of time. It's from the On to the next one Jay-z video the second I saw it, I just felt something for all the imagery. In the video it starts with one clean shot of this mysterious figure panting and nodding his head back and forth and slowly as the video unfolds it revels this malice like character bursting at the seams with passion, aggression and sadness. I feel this way constantly. I love the juxtaposition between my perky username (which is how most people in the outside world know me) and my aloof avatar (which is how I feel inside). I feel it's the perfect representation of everything I am and all the things I'm hiding. it's a constant reminder for me that no matter how bad it gets, no matter how hard life is; I've got to keep on to the next thing.
 
I chose a picture that a friend took to make sure there was no copywrite issues.

It means nothing, like most anything else in my life, and cannot identify anything so I can be anonymous which I like.

Maybe I will divulge my SN later......
 
Name = It could be anyone, I could be anyone, it keeps my anonymity I guess. :O_o:
Picture = I like medieval things and I want to be a Knight. :cool:
Maybe I should of picked a medieval type name... Sir PTSD ahahah :laugh: Well atleast I didn't use Mr. Brooks, if you seen the movie, you know why.... :confused:
 
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