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Why Do I Feel That I Don't Belong. Where Is Home?

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In my mind I can't identify a place that feels like home to me.

Loloma, I too cannot settle. I have lost count of how many moves I have made in my life since getting PTSD and I feel this need to find a place where I can settle and call my home and belong to it and for it to belong to me.

I am trying to identify what this home would look and feel like but mostly where.

I sometimes write down things that my home must have, that I know are intrinsic to my happiness. For instance I cannot live in total isolation as I do now, but I would not be able to cope in high density population environments. I want enough space around me to be able to move comfortably.

I'd really like running water and a shower and toilet!!!!!

I would love to feel safe too.

I keep looking, I feel like I am getting too old to live like a gypsy any longer never knowing when I will be told to shove off.

I hope you can start to imagine little things that will lead to knowing something about the home that you need.
 
This is a very volatile subject but probably holds the key to everything that's been shaken to the core in the heart, mind and soul. That essence of being safe, wanted, secure and happy. I pray that this day, we look and FIND that place within to connect and heal that part. Bring back the parts that were dispersed due to the traumas - and settle in the most loving of places where we are accepted and where all of our wants and needs are provided to us. Whether it be quiet, clean air, beauty and good neighbors. Let it happen. It will. Blessings <3
 
The older I get the more confused I become. I like being on my own, but hate it at the same time. I feel...
I remember the first time i saw my Psychiatrist, I told him I think I wanted to be a long-haul truck driver. I asked him if he would let me know when he thought I would be ready to go on this adventure of mine. Just say to heck with it and be out on the road and leave all of the supposed family behind. I eventually came down to earth. It makes absolutely no difference what the physical location was that I lived in. No matter what you do, you can not run from yourself. Once we fix ourselves, then we can feel at home anywhere.
 
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