Why Do Sufferers Try To Push Away Their Loved Ones?

[Deleted member 9920]

CC...my boyfriend just went into the PTSD clinic at the V.A. in Menlo Park and already he's understanding why he pushed his family away for so long. He also pushed both his 2 wives away...it's a strange trust issue from what he explained and an age thing. He was 18 when he went in and got married the first time, now he's 37 and has come to grips with what he's done. I'm the first girl he has EVER trusted with his experience in the service. It's not YOU at all...it's him and most likely him thinking that he doesn't deserve trust and understanding. My bf was in the service for 13 years and saw/did a lot of horrible things, (in his mind...in my mind he had NO CHOICE but to do it) he didn't think anyone would understand or stand by him if they knew...it's taken him 7 years to get help and I think it will be really good for him. Don't give up on your dude...he may just be having a really hard time...it's not you at all girl!

 

[Horse87]

I don't know why. I know that my mom and my brother suffer from p.t.s.d. and we have a very hard time keeping in contact with each other. I push away my normal family and they don't understand I don't understand either,

 

[TroyW]

I think a lot of it has to do with us suffering and we do not want others to experience it with us it is very hard hope he gets better I am trying. A day at a time a step at a time.

 

[Crimson]

I've finally come within inches of chasing my partner of over five years away. I have such huge issues with how I hate myself that this is perfect ammunition for all of me that wants the rest of me to die. Like I'm talking about that she would prefer me getting ready for work to cuddling for another ten minutes.

I haven't seen my family in over six months, the situational anxiety is way too much to take if I'm not literally required to go. Couple years back my brother's ex-partner tickled me from behind at a christmas gathering.... I jumped so hard i shook everything in the kitchen and swung on the person behind me until I saw it was her. Literally my fist was two feet from her face. I then went outside to smoke a cigarette and shake with the adrenaline overload and shame.

There is hope, people do heal, I'm sorry if my reply seems dark, it's because I'm feeling lost. Be good to yourself and just know you are not alone.

 

[scatteredfrustrated]

We've just limped through two years of my husband's furious furious ptsd. He's lost his job/s, contact with family and friends and is facing assault charges. I put up with a whole lot of raving furious erratic anger because I knew he didn't mean it, was full of pain etc. But it's really upsetting and exhausting for me to have to deal with his endless unfair criticism on top of trying to support us both financially. I finally said "fine, you can sit at home and smoke all day, I'll pay the mortgage and accept you are cutting off all our friends and goals etc because you are in pain and sick. I love you dearly but boundaries have to be put up around the verbal dumping. I can't do it all AND have you dump all your grief onto me. Three more times without apology and I walk forever." He knew I meant it too. So whenever he starts I put up my hand like an umpire and tell him to go sleep it off. Since he hasn't slept through for years, this works a charm and the criticism has stopped. He knows what is right and wrong, he's an intelligent adult. he wouldn't yell like that at a supermarket manager or cafe owner. I am in the house and love him...but enough is enough, fair's fair!