General Why Hubby Cannot Speak Up.

[amethist]

Now I know it is not always because I get upset and angry that hubby gets anxious. It is sometimes because he cannot yet speak up as he used to do.

This morning at 7.30 am, yea that early. Our so considerate neighbour was having work done on his house. Drilling into brick close to our bedroom window.

As it happened we were both up and hubby had a full nights sleep.

I was annoyed to say the least, as this is just the kind of thing that can set a downward issue going. Hubby did get anxious and I could see he was up set with the noise, so me being me said how annoyed I was about this inconsideration for others and shut our door, quite hard.

I did calm down pretty quick and we sat and discussed this event.

It turned out that hubby got upset more about the fact that he could not go out and say something himself, not that I almost let the Doberman out to play.

He also said it had taken him 3 weeks to get back to a good place, and in 5 minutes this could have been put back again.

Maybe now I can speak up more, knowing it is not alway me that causes his issues, when I do speak my mind.

Amethist

 

[Reclusive]

That makes a lot of sense. And, maybe in a way, you're opening the door for him to express himself at least to you instead of keeping things bottled up inside.

 

[Tinyflame]

Now I know it is not always because I get upset and angry that hubby gets anxious. It is sometimes because he cannot yet speak up as he used to do.

It turned out that hubby got upset more about the fact that he could not go out and say something himself, not that I almost let the Doberman out to play.

He also said it had taken him 3 weeks to get back to a good place, and in 5 minutes this could have been put back again.

Maybe now I can speak up more, knowing it is not alway me that causes his issues, when I do speak my mind.

Oh Dear Amethist, it's almost always about the sufferer's internal conversation, feelings and beliefs- not the other person's words or anger, not when they are not directed directly at the sufferer, per se. You don't cause his issues, I am sure. Speak freely.

((((((Hugs))))))