Obviously it has some advantages but in the long run it will damage your system.
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Why is hypervigilance bad?
- Post starter Muttly
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- #38
Sideways
VIP Member
Sometimes hypervigilance can feel like a bit of a super power.
But the reality is that apart from it’s fairly disastrous impact on my physical health? Hypervigilance comes at the cost of just plain old ‘living my life’.
Like, there’s no point me going to a restaurant to indulge in a good meal. I’m not going to enjoy it. I’m probably not going to notice how the food tastes at all. I’m too busy sitting there scanning the room for the person who’s about to leap out of the shadows and attack me.
That’s just an example. But that’s the cost of hypervigilance for me. I’m missing out on just noticing, and enjoying, actual life. The non-threatening, enjoyable moments that the rest of the population find meaning, and sustenance and happiness in.
It’s a myth that, without hypervigilance, the rest of the population are walking around like naive eejets with blinkers on. It’s just that they’ve got their panic-swith turned down sufficiently to enjoy themselves when things aren’t actually dangerous.
PTSD-Brain leaves us constantly asking ourselves: What if I’m not safe? But, more relevantly, what are you missing out on if you are safe?
But the reality is that apart from it’s fairly disastrous impact on my physical health? Hypervigilance comes at the cost of just plain old ‘living my life’.
Like, there’s no point me going to a restaurant to indulge in a good meal. I’m not going to enjoy it. I’m probably not going to notice how the food tastes at all. I’m too busy sitting there scanning the room for the person who’s about to leap out of the shadows and attack me.
That’s just an example. But that’s the cost of hypervigilance for me. I’m missing out on just noticing, and enjoying, actual life. The non-threatening, enjoyable moments that the rest of the population find meaning, and sustenance and happiness in.
It’s a myth that, without hypervigilance, the rest of the population are walking around like naive eejets with blinkers on. It’s just that they’ve got their panic-swith turned down sufficiently to enjoy themselves when things aren’t actually dangerous.
PTSD-Brain leaves us constantly asking ourselves: What if I’m not safe? But, more relevantly, what are you missing out on if you are safe?
Yeah. With proper reprogramming.
- Post starter
- #40
Muttly
Diamond Member
Ok, sorry for taking so long. I got super triggered and overwhelmed by a variety of things and had to take a break. I wish I had the mental focus and stamina to reply to every post but that's beyond me. However, here are some thoughts....
@Zoogal - Thanks for the link to the article. That was great. I think I might share it with my T.
@anthony asked what is the point of worrying myself about what could happen? The weird thing is, I guess I don't think of hypervigilance that way. I mean, I guess I don't recognize a state of readiness and fight/flight as worry. That probably sounds dumb. It's not like my conscious brain is sitting here thinking, "someone could break into my house at any moment." But, if my dog starts barking I'm going to instantly be on alert. If I hear a noise he doesn't I am going to be on alert and it can quickly escalate to red alert when nothing much is going on.
Long term effects - I can't tell you how many times I've wondered why I am so flipping exhausted. I think that when I complain to my T about being exhausted she has been trying to tell me it's a long term effect of hypervigilance. (I should pay more attention. heh). @Freida mentioned fibro and I've had a diagnosis of that. It probably isn't Fibro, but without a doubt I have chronic pain.
Good judge of character - This is interesting to me. Several people mentioned this and I don't really consider myself a good judge of character. As much as I am hypervigilant, I also ignore warning signs I should be paying attention to. That is probably because of the DID and old programming (ugh, hate to think of it that way). I wish I was a better judge of character.
Those are hard questions to answer. For one thing, my sense of time is vague. I have been living in this town for about 16 years and it was not too long (1 year? 3 years? after moving here that I started therapy.) I am not sure how much good my first therapist did me. Well, that's not fair, he showed me that a therapist could be trust worthy and validation that my family had serious issues. It was with my next therapist that I really started to do trauma work and I suppose the early part of that was to get me away from my family. I just scrolled through some old emails and I'd say, roughly, I cut contact with them about 6 years ago. So that's when I really was able to focus on dealing with the DID and PTSD. And I guess, if you look at it that way. Out of 47 years, only 6 have been free from, at the very least, verbal abuse and mind games. And that's not true either because there were a couple abusive-ish relationships in that time.
Yes? Maybe? My T says I am. I'm not completely convinced. I don't know if I will fully feel safe until my father dies. I think it's unlikely he will come after me at this point, but others inside believe he will. And I am not sure how my brother will react when the father dies. I suppose it might be unlikely, but I am fairly convinced the brother is going to come after me when the dad dies. On the one hand, I know that probably sounds paranoid and I do recognize it's unlikely. On the other hand, they both have anger management issues. They both have drinking/substance issues. And the brother has been known to be completely irrational. It's hard to feel safe when you know all that and know they harbor a lot of anger for you.
That is an excellent question and super helpful. Hmm... you, @Sideways mentioned the restaurants. I do go, but I fret about where I'm going to sit. Imagine going and just being able to sit wherever I want and just be completely present. Heck, how about being in therapy and not keeping an eye out her window to see who is around outside. Or...being able to go anyplace there is a crowd. Being able to go on a date. Being able to have intimate touch without panic. Not freaking out if someone is behind me. I'm sure there's more. Blah.
@Zoogal - Thanks for the link to the article. That was great. I think I might share it with my T.
@anthony asked what is the point of worrying myself about what could happen? The weird thing is, I guess I don't think of hypervigilance that way. I mean, I guess I don't recognize a state of readiness and fight/flight as worry. That probably sounds dumb. It's not like my conscious brain is sitting here thinking, "someone could break into my house at any moment." But, if my dog starts barking I'm going to instantly be on alert. If I hear a noise he doesn't I am going to be on alert and it can quickly escalate to red alert when nothing much is going on.
Long term effects - I can't tell you how many times I've wondered why I am so flipping exhausted. I think that when I complain to my T about being exhausted she has been trying to tell me it's a long term effect of hypervigilance. (I should pay more attention. heh). @Freida mentioned fibro and I've had a diagnosis of that. It probably isn't Fibro, but without a doubt I have chronic pain.
Good judge of character - This is interesting to me. Several people mentioned this and I don't really consider myself a good judge of character. As much as I am hypervigilant, I also ignore warning signs I should be paying attention to. That is probably because of the DID and old programming (ugh, hate to think of it that way). I wish I was a better judge of character.
Those are hard questions to answer. For one thing, my sense of time is vague. I have been living in this town for about 16 years and it was not too long (1 year? 3 years? after moving here that I started therapy.) I am not sure how much good my first therapist did me. Well, that's not fair, he showed me that a therapist could be trust worthy and validation that my family had serious issues. It was with my next therapist that I really started to do trauma work and I suppose the early part of that was to get me away from my family. I just scrolled through some old emails and I'd say, roughly, I cut contact with them about 6 years ago. So that's when I really was able to focus on dealing with the DID and PTSD. And I guess, if you look at it that way. Out of 47 years, only 6 have been free from, at the very least, verbal abuse and mind games. And that's not true either because there were a couple abusive-ish relationships in that time.
Yes? Maybe? My T says I am. I'm not completely convinced. I don't know if I will fully feel safe until my father dies. I think it's unlikely he will come after me at this point, but others inside believe he will. And I am not sure how my brother will react when the father dies. I suppose it might be unlikely, but I am fairly convinced the brother is going to come after me when the dad dies. On the one hand, I know that probably sounds paranoid and I do recognize it's unlikely. On the other hand, they both have anger management issues. They both have drinking/substance issues. And the brother has been known to be completely irrational. It's hard to feel safe when you know all that and know they harbor a lot of anger for you.
That is an excellent question and super helpful. Hmm... you, @Sideways mentioned the restaurants. I do go, but I fret about where I'm going to sit. Imagine going and just being able to sit wherever I want and just be completely present. Heck, how about being in therapy and not keeping an eye out her window to see who is around outside. Or...being able to go anyplace there is a crowd. Being able to go on a date. Being able to have intimate touch without panic. Not freaking out if someone is behind me. I'm sure there's more. Blah.
Yeah, I understand this completely. I am not certain that a whole lot of doctors actually understand what it is like to have been surrounded by criminal type people who fly off half cocked. I am also not certain that losing that conditioning of having been their victim is actually a safe thing either. I had a ton of conversations with my CBT chick who kept trying to convince me that my thoughts were faulty and paranoid because I was still worried they were going to come after me (which they did).
I educated myself on situational awareness, which was really quite helpful to me and stopped me from dissociating over every goddam noise I heard. I wonder if toying with the idea of learning how to be more situationally aware would be helpful to you at all?
situational awareness coupled with a well-oiled self-monitoring system is the key, I think.
the problem with hypervigilance doesn't lie in the fear that things could go kerblooey in an instant, they can and do, often.
and I don't think being aware of the 3 or 4 or 10 things that usually happen to warn you of the impending chaos is a problem either.
when the first of a string of things that have to happen before the badness takes place is enough to convince you that it is happening and it is already too late, that's the problem.
When just going out in traffic is enough for your mind to start to get you ready for traumatic injury and helicopter rides, that's bad. When going out in traffic means it is time for full-on, game day, 100% situational awareness, that's good.
Road ragers, I don't know. It baffles me when I see someone driving badly to teach another bad driver a lesson. I mean, I get being angry, but don't understand how the thing that made you angry makes you want to cause more anger by doing the thing more.
For me, if I see a road rager, I figure we are about 8 steps into the progression that leads to a bad day for someone and pull over, thankful that hypervigilance led me to safety, not fight or flight.
the problem with hypervigilance doesn't lie in the fear that things could go kerblooey in an instant, they can and do, often.
and I don't think being aware of the 3 or 4 or 10 things that usually happen to warn you of the impending chaos is a problem either.
when the first of a string of things that have to happen before the badness takes place is enough to convince you that it is happening and it is already too late, that's the problem.
When just going out in traffic is enough for your mind to start to get you ready for traumatic injury and helicopter rides, that's bad. When going out in traffic means it is time for full-on, game day, 100% situational awareness, that's good.
Road ragers, I don't know. It baffles me when I see someone driving badly to teach another bad driver a lesson. I mean, I get being angry, but don't understand how the thing that made you angry makes you want to cause more anger by doing the thing more.
For me, if I see a road rager, I figure we are about 8 steps into the progression that leads to a bad day for someone and pull over, thankful that hypervigilance led me to safety, not fight or flight.
EveHarrington
VIP Member
What does Fibro pain feel like?
Ok so I adjusted my meds downward and was going through body zaps. Like brain zaps but in the body. They kept waking me up. I was convinced that I had some neurological disorder until I googled it and realized it was an effect of reducing my meds. Doh.
I was convinced my last huge trigger sent my body over the edge. Oh dear god I don’t want Fibro....
But I’m still curious what Fibro pain feels like.
Ok so I adjusted my meds downward and was going through body zaps. Like brain zaps but in the body. They kept waking me up. I was convinced that I had some neurological disorder until I googled it and realized it was an effect of reducing my meds. Doh.
I was convinced my last huge trigger sent my body over the edge. Oh dear god I don’t want Fibro....
But I’m still curious what Fibro pain feels like.
Freida
VIP Member
Easiest description is that fibro feels like a horrible case of the flu on the day after you ran a marathon. Every muscle aches down to the bone
there are a ton of symptoms but the most common are trigger points. Tap the inside of your elbow, knee or your collar bone. Does it hurt or feel like there is a big bruise? It's not supposed to -- who knew!? And the pain is generally not relieved by pain killers because it is in the muscle nerves, not the muscles themselves. It can feel like a zapping but for me its more of a gradual pain that increases in intensity
Skin sensitivity, sleep disturbances, IBS, food intolerances and headaches pretty much round out my fibro day. yeah me!
there are a ton of symptoms but the most common are trigger points. Tap the inside of your elbow, knee or your collar bone. Does it hurt or feel like there is a big bruise? It's not supposed to -- who knew!? And the pain is generally not relieved by pain killers because it is in the muscle nerves, not the muscles themselves. It can feel like a zapping but for me its more of a gradual pain that increases in intensity
Skin sensitivity, sleep disturbances, IBS, food intolerances and headaches pretty much round out my fibro day. yeah me!
Cactus Bloom
Silver Member
Hi! What might help you with some more insight is to google Peter A. Levine. I’m pretty sure you’re going to find what you’re looking for:)
Mach123
VIP Member
There is nothing whatsoever good about actual hypervigilance and to have been relieved of it mostly is one of the biggest gains in my therapy. The pain of it, it's effect on my behaviour and the people around me was devastating. I was always screaming about little things that wouldn't bother anyone because regardless of what I thought, I felt like I was gong to die any moment if I didn't stop what was happening, or even what I thought might happen. People used to look at me and say "what's wrong with you?" This was a fair question because my reactions were totally inappropriate for the situation. Actual fight or flight, having the body shocked with adrenaline, sweating and hyperventilating, then remorse and shame for behaviour you can't understand. It's what the soldiers act like when an innocent situation puts them back on the battlefield. In fact, it was through that analogy I realised I was just like them and had the same condition. Prior to that I thought the soldiers had a different or worse kind of hypervigilance/ptsd. Thinking about a situation is not it, hypervigilance causes you to act/react inappropriately or badly or as though you were back in a different situation.
thats it. reacting appropriately starts with self awareness and self monitoring. Thats a tough road to get started down when you are convinced that you are the only one reacting correctly and anyone trying to stop you or correct you is just a part of the problem, or worse, the only part of the problem you have any direct influence on so they receive the full load of adrenaline powered reaction to the perceived threat.
there was about twenty years in getting that far for me, but it gets easier.
Z
Zoey
How did you find a "trauma informed" in patient treatment clinic?
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