Will You Join Me?

[deer_in_headlights]

(((((((((((Hope))))))))))
My heart and prayers are with you...

 

[Changing4Best]

May the Lord Jesus bring her safely to the other side.

 

[Hope4Now]

She would like that very much @ShielaKathy. She is deeply Christian. Thank you for your intention.

Perhaps she wouldn't be so afraid if Jesus would just show up in some concrete form. I wish he would. Mary would do as well. St. Jude (her favorite) would work. St. Anthony would be good. Best of all would be my godmother, my mom's best friend from childhood, who died in June. My mom has been wishing for her to come back and hold her hand and tell her about heaven. I've done mental and emotional cartwheels trying to help my mother develop enough abstract thinking to grasp the concept that you don't have to see something for it to be real. It never worked when she had her full brain power, and it ain't working now.

As much as I wish I could bring her safely to the other side, I just can't figure out how to do it and then get back here to live my own life. Because there's lots of that left. And I'm not going with her as much as she wants me to.

 

[Changing4Best]

Tell her that I almost died once and Jesus took me to the gates of Heaven. There I saw my brother, my mother's firstborn son. He had died when he was eight days old. He looked just like my father at about the time that mom and him had married. I told my mother this and she went to Heaven peacefully in her sleep about 3 weeks later. Maybe that will help? @hope for now

 

[VioletButterfly]

Hope -

My heart is breaking for you as I can really relate to what you're dealing with. You've posted some inspirational and thoughtful responses to me before concerning my ordeal with my mom who is in memory care. I hope and pray for peace for both of you sooner rather than later, and will say an extra prayer that you take care of yourself through all of this. I know it sounds impossible, but I'm living with what happens when you don't and I wouldn't want that for you. It sounds like you have some good skills for tolerance and that is encouraging. :) All my best and many prayers for you and your family. VB

 

[Hope4Now]

Maybe that will help?

I will tell her. Thank you @SheilaKathy. I re-read my post. I apologize if it sounded snarky about Jesus, etc. It was not intended to offend.

 

[shimmerz]

Thinking of you Hope.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Also thinking of you here, hope, big hugs

 

[Deleted member 28740]

I just spent an hour polishing copper pots

And lovely soup. I haven't tried drumming, more humming you did.

Y'all must be sending good healing thoughts, because I'm feeling not so alone. Thank you.

Yes, many are here sending their compassion and healing thoughts out to you Hope.

 

[Hope4Now]

1000 thank yous, forum friends. I can't tell you how much it is helping me knowing you are here and sending good energy. I posted my intention request on facebook too, and the response from my friends there has been so wonderful. I am so very lucky in so many ways.

I just need to say that this PTSD and fibryomyalgia stuff when mixed with extra stress than usual is CRAZY. I showered, dressed, and was preparing to go to see my mother. Like on my way out the door with the keys. Suddenly my feet got totally numb and freezing cold. This has happened once or twice before but I just chalked it up to yet another weird symptom. It went away eventually. Today, I couldn't walk. Took off my shoes and socks and my toes and tops of my feet were totally white. Raynauds I guess. I knew it could come on with cold. I didn't know it could come on with stress. Just found out that peachy little fact.

Clearly, I have parts that are deeply invested in staying away from my mother and are making it impossible for me physically. And they are at war with parts that want to go and be with her.

I slept one solid hour last night.

So...I am practicing strategies. Radical self-care. I will go see my mother later tonight. I am in bed with a heating pad now and will stay here until I go to my therapy appointment. Hopefully, my feet will recover soon and I can get there.

I mean, seriously? Seriously? Isn't all the other physical stuff enough?

I suppose not. It's just going to keep getting more varied and worse I suppose until I start listening better. I wish the translation I am "hearing" were not what it is. Because the translation is that if I don't stop and practice radical rest, I will end up being hospitalized for something or other, whether it be physical or mental.

It is finally dawning on me that I have become profoundly disabled even though it doesn't really look like it on the outside.

 

[Aarow]

Hey all... In my own irrational way, I'm convinced that if a whole lot of people spend a moment contemp...

Hi, I'm brand new here, but just lost my my mom in February. I don't think you are irrational at all. Glad to add a prayer for your mother, and for you. --Aarow

 

[Hope4Now]

Many thanks again, for your intentions. My mother died today. Not sure the precise time, but I'm going to think it was at 1:11 PM on 11/11. Perhaps she will finally find a restful and peaceful place for her spirit.