Work and my mom's surgery

[whiteraven]

My mom has bladder and skin cancer (she's really ok, sounds worse than it is) and she is scheduled for some outpatient surgery tomorrow to remove some growths in her bladder. I need to take her because no one else is available. It's smack dab in the middle of the day, so I asked my manager if I could work a split shift from home over a week ago. She was fine with that.

When I reminded her about it today (shouldn't need a reminder because I put it on the schedule), she said, "you're going to come in [in the morning, right]?" Um, no. I am working a split shift from home, which includes the morning.

Well, she's not coming in till noon (a decision she made to) and since she won't be there, I need to be. Never mind I'm never there in the mornings anyway. So now...when I usually get up at 930 because I work till 10, I have to get up at 6.

I haven't been sleeping anyway and this is really going to throw me off. Not to mention, I have to work until 10 and will be falling out of my chair by then.

I can't get over the anger. The not feeling important enough. The absolute disregard. I just can't let go of it.

 

[blackemerald1]

Wow @whiteraven - I can understand your anger especially as you checked with her a week ago, received approval and wrote it on the schedule.

Is it that she has disregarded you and do you really feel that you are unimportant to her?

Could she be forgetful, over-worked or even stupid?


Can you put the blame for this back on her forgetfulness and not as her opinion of you. Try not to take it as a judgment of your value.

Even if you cannot let go of it being a judgment of your value - how valuable is her opinion to you anyway?


Take care :hug:

 

[whiteraven]

how valuable is her opinion to you anyway?

You know, this is really something I need to think about. Not just with her, but with so many friends and colleagues. It's so hard for me to brush off what others think of me without shutting them out completely. Not entirely sure what that's about except I think I get so worried that they will do something to hurt me based on how they feel about me. Of course, then I realize that I never think anyone thinks good things about me. It always *must* be something negative/bad.

Is it that she has disregarded you and do you really feel that you are unimportant to her?

Yes. Disregard. I have a history of being disregarded by all sorts of people in huge ways. Doctors - I have probably two dozen stories of doctors who have disregarded my thoughts, my feelings, my needs, etc... Disregard that resulted in harm.

I don't think she finds me important or vital to the job at all. She is hateful and was given the job because she is aggressive and management is hoping she can facilitate changes. I think that's a good possibility. I worry she's going to facilitate me right out of a job. Why? Because she is tight with a couple of others that could move into my position as a promotion.

Could she be forgetful, over-worked or even stupid?

No. None of those. Unless sitting at your desk and scrolling through Facebook all day could be considered overworked. She just doesn't care. And her new position allows her some power over people she has treated like sh*t in the past.

Can you put the blame for this back on her forgetfulness and not as her opinion of you. Try not to take it as a judgment of your value.

No. She's not forgetful. I sent her a detailed email and right after is when she said I needed to go in instead of work from home. I honestly don't know what the point was.

Working there - it reminds me of the women who is beaten over and over by her boyfriend. You get beaten so many times and it takes its toll.