Work Vs Health

[Zef]

Not sure why I am posting this. . .maybe looking for advice.

Unfortunately, work is not a healthy place for me for the last year or so. Everyone at work has been as supportive as can reasonably be expected, but I am pretty much symptomatic all the time, requiring Xanax to make it through most days. I've also become so unproductive at my job that I feel guilty for even being here.

At home, my symptoms are much lighter and less frequent.

My belief is that I can get a lot more done with working on my symptoms and overall health if I were at home. The time at work does not only take time away from getting better, it actually makes my symptoms worse and I end up struggling at home with my wife and kids on the nights after work.

Saying that, my wife and kids depend on my income. We don't have the resources to survive long enough until I could qualify (maybe) for disability. It would be a traumatic experience for them to see me fail. My wife has been an amazing supporter and I don't want to let her down.

I'm just not seeing a way out of this without somebody getting hurt, whether it is my famiy, my co-workers and/or myself.

 

[FaerieJayne]

This is a very tough thing to give advice on. However I see you are less anxious at home and more productive than when you are at work. Income is a major issue, but so is your mental and physical state. I find that writing a pros and cons list might be of some help. Also, do you see a GP or a psychologist, psychiatrist? They can also give good advice on what they think is best for your well being. I have always believed that our well-being comes before money, although I know that we need money to survive in this crazy world. Have you also tried speaking with your wife about this and how you are feeling about leaving work versus staying?

 

[JustBe]

Zef said:
" requiring Xanax to make it through most days. I've also become so unproductive at my job that I feel guilty for even being here."

Been there Zef. I ended up quitting the job, getting off the Xanax and applying for disability. It's 1/3 of what my income was, but I'm beginning to heal and that is important too.

I hope you are able to find a way to lighten your load and still support your family.

 

[Loveneverfails]

It entirely depends on your unique situation, but I suppose if you can afford to take some time off a sabbatical might not be a bad idea. If not, then maybe a stronger support system in place? Like support groups(if you don't already) or higher doses or more meds, depending on what works best for you. I quit work when it became too much, thankfully I had other income to support my family while I focus on recovery, but my T said something rather poignant this last session. He said to remember that every choice comes with it's own set of problems. That it isn't down to this choice or that choice. There will always be stresses, problems and roadblocks and making a choice will ALWAYS alleviate some issues and create it's own set.

That being said, I will repeat again that it depends on what is best for you. At first not working was what I needed, now the lack of income is causing more stress than trying to work did. Then again, being poor is far more survivable than risky mental health. Just remember there are a lot of choices here just like my T said. Maybe part time? A new job? Going back to school? Those are also viable options sometimes. Anyway, I really hope no matter what you decide, you find what is best for you and do it. You and your family both deserve to thrive, not just muddle through.

 

[Maggiemay]

*Hugs*

I'm currently on a phased return to work.

Sadly, I'm realising it's a lot harder than I thought it was going to be :( It's knocked me for 6 & put back my recovery, so much so I've had to increase my anti-psychotics :(

I'm having to totally relearn my limits and realise how sensitive I am (a lot more so than I would want to believe! ). Just hoping it'll be successful though, otherwise I'll have to contemplate part time or benefits which I can't afford to do but need to recover and find stability.

 

[Zef]

Thanks all for the replies.

I do have a good t and we do discuss the work vs. health thing. We have the beginnings of a long term plan to move away from this job and find something that I could do to generate income that would be less challenging health-wise.

But, that is long-term. I guess I am struggling right now because I have health issues that are directly impacted by stress .. .for instance, my blood sugar is elevated and doing damage now, despite having good control on diet and other factors. . .I would like to be a better.

T is definitely a proponent of me continuing work and, sometimes, I don't know if that is a good thing. It seems to take so much time away from doing the things I need to get better health-wise.

 

[JustBe]

I hope you find a middle ground. My T and her predecessor said that for me (for awhile anyway), work would not be possible.

I do look forward to the day when I will again have a job.Hopefully something much less stressful and much more satisfying.

 

[Shellbell]

If it is possible to take time away from working to work on improving health, I think that is important. Neglecting mental health can be further damaging and cause longer term issues that will be more lengthy and costly in therapy to deal with in the future and can affect or break relationships long term.

Work and the stress it causes can also affect therapy. Therapy will be at it's most effective when all all other stressors are reduced, where possible. Some therapists won't work with someone who continues in a high stress sutuation, such as a high stress job.

Of course, everyone's situation is different. Many can continue healing from PTSD and work. Many can't. I think having a lower paid, but less stressful job can be the best situation for some where the income is absolutely necessary.

 

[LaurieJ]

Zef,
Thank you for writing. I started working after 11 years and the day I started all PTSD symptoms were controlled by meds. Every shift I worked my symptoms increased almost to the point when I was newly diagnosed. My situation differs as I have no family to support. I couldn't handle the job so I quit. I'm not advocating that you do this because our situations differ. But I understand what you are going through and feel less alone because you wrote.
Thank you,
Laurie

 

[The Albatross]

I tend Zef to compartmentalize the stress and sort out (like separating laundry into baskets to be washed) to be dealt with in smaller more manageable bits. If I don't the snowball gets bigger and bigger as it goes down the hill... eventually threatening everyone in its path including small villages.

Things that are a necessity for me have priority these days. If your family relies on your income, perhaps it is best or this is the opportunity you need to learn newer more balanced skill sets in therapy or with mentorship. Given the choice... I try to find new perspectives and initiate better coping skills before I ever walk away from a job.

I like the suggestion of taking a break or vacation if one is due. But think that alot of stress can be managed with new and different perspectives. My old "game" was "What do I want more?" Do I want to be able to save for a morgage? Do I want to be able to pay my car insurance or have the roof repaired? OR do I want to ignore these and leave this job? Now my approach is more balanced than either or... but the key has been clarifying the stressers, separating the stressers, and endeavoring to take action on those things that I can control --- then look for new and perhaps healthier perspectives and core beliefs about my job.

I'll never forget... when my dad was still alive, I was bemoaning some really awful stuff about work and my dad (the most candid and blunt man I ever have come across to this day) said: "Get over it, and get on with it. It's a JOB. If it was supposed to be fun or pleasurable it would be called "play, or leisure, or vacation." I was dumbfounded. I had to sit for a while and for myself, I realized I was too heavily invested in my expectations about my employment and employer. It is work. The purpose of work is to earn money to pay my bills. At times it's gonna be toxic, and awful, at others it will be okay... and maybe even sometimes it will be pleasant and even rewarding. But the truth for me, was that I needed to balance work with other outlets to get some pleasure. Like socialization, like a hobby, like more time with my husband, or like community. When I did that... a good part of the stress attached to my job disappeared.

I'm in a difficult position because right now my employment is affecting my physical health. And am having to consider leaving... which I am loathe to do because that will affect our monthly income as well.

 

[The Albatross]

I neglected to say, that my dad and my grandparents were "old school"... jobs were seldom enjoyable, often grueling and not enjoyable by any stretch of the imagination... but they were hard to come by. I understood this, and pondered on my dad and grandfathers toiling away for many many years doing a job they really didn't like --- and how they did this.

They sought fulfillment in other areas of their life. I had to learn this. Jobs here in our area aren't very well paying or plentiful. There is a lot of competition here. That is a lot of my feedback/opinion here. Now I try to be satsified that my job pays some of our bills... and when particularly dissatisfied, I tend more to try to balance out the difficulty with efforts in other areas of my life to get my sense of fulfillment. I hope this helps you.

 

[The Albatross]

At home, my symptoms are much lighter and less frequent.

My belief is that I can get a lot more done with working on my symptoms and overall health if I were at home. The time at work does not only take time away from getting better, it actually makes my symptoms worse and I end up struggling at home with my wife and kids on the nights after work.

Zef, the best progress comes for me from staying in the situation and develop the coping skills I need to increase my tolerance and expansiveness. If I remove the stressor, then I lose my incentive to do the work of effective coping. My shrink was adamant that I stay employed and learn to manage. I didn't like it at the time, but I'm really grateful for that. The old adages about keeping your feet to the fire, and necessity is the mother of invention were really apt.