Work Vs Health

[EmFelis]

I have read these posts with great interest. I was involved in a car accident in March of this year, I went back to work after 6 weeks and experienced a minor break down. Eight months later I am exhausted and terrified of the thought of returning to work. I believe that it was the intolerable stress of my job (I am a secondary school teacher) was all part of developing PTSD as well as the trauma of the accident. I feel like my fuse has been well and truly blown and I can only deal with minor stresses.

I have been volunteering one day a week at a local soup kitchen to see how I able to cope with the world and I have made good progress there - there were days when I could barely to speak to anyone now I feel more confident but washing up and sweeping the floor dont really compare to the immense stress of controlling a class of teenage kids and taking on all the marking and report writing that goes with it. I am terrified that my employers will lose patience with me and sack me before I am able to face returning to work. My husband has just finished his degree and is trying to get funding for a PhD so we have no money coming in other than my half wages. We live in a town with few job opportunities.

Interestingly, I just spent a sleepless night worrying about all of these things (as I have a meeting with occupational health tomorrow), but reading your posts and typing this has somehow helped with my anxiety. I think that one of the problems with PTSD is the limited ability to deal with stress and my body quite rightly does not want to go back to a job where the stress levels were killing me. Management are not supportive in general and that frightens me too! The ideal situation would be to go part time but I have to go back full time before I can ask to go back part time, work that out! Still, I need to keep all my thoughts "in the day" and stop projecting about things that may never happen (I wish I could do this). Thanks for listening.

 

[Maggiemay]

EmFelis - I get EXACTLY where you're coming from! I'm returning to work, with a phased return (this week is my 1st full week in 6 months!) after 4 months off due to PTSD.

I'm a primary school teacher, with a class of jack in the boxes, pre-pubescent yr 5/6! It's hard coming back after so long away & that's without the pressure of planning, marking & teaching at the mo - I'm just doing small group work. I'm absolutely petrified of what will happen come January when I'm teaching full time.

Contemplating part time, but as u point out have to go full time 1st (although managed to blag Mon AM off for therapy! ) Am here if u need a chat xxx

 

[EmFelis]

Thanks Maggie May - I am really glad to hear from another teacher. Well done for getting back into work! I miss my work friends and the pupils but am terrified of the stress levels associated with the job. I am interested that they gave you small groups to work with rather than the whole class. When I have spoken to occupational health they just talk about recommending a reduced timetable. I am off to see the occupational health doctor and I have spent half the night awake worrying about the meeting!!

 

[Edna]

I no longer work, but I have difficulty looking for a job I like due to similar problems. I do not have a wife and children, I do have my cats that rely on an income so they can be fed.

Seeing that anxiety is why you struggle at work, may I recommend bringing something fun to do while you are on your break? Try bringing a photo of your wife and children, or perhaps a portable video game console (Nintendo DS, PSP, etc.) to keep yourself distracted from any negative emotions during work.

I'm glad to read about your supportive co-workers! That always helps. I hope my advice assisted you in some positive way! =3:

 

[EmFelis]

Thank Edna that's a great idea (crocheting might work) although I'd have to watch myself as in teaching you try and do as much work as possible at school to reduce the amount you have to take home which is where I suspect part of the problem!!!!!

 

[ms spock]

Zef quitting work might not be a good idea, because all those problems will come out at home. For now, they are at work and you have them in one place.

People who have jobs seem to have better outcomes because they have to keep on going and learning skills to manage the situation, which you may not do if you are at home fulltime.

 

[glennreggie]

Maybe going part-time might be an option.

 

[EmFelis]

I am not sure I will have a choice in the end. Yes, I could go part time but at the moment I could stand to be in charge of a class for 20 minutes let alone for a whole lesson or a day. I had a minor melt-down at the weekend when I was meant to be helping at a Church tea and coffee thing.

I can not handle any kind of stress at all. It showed me that it doesnt matter what I "want" to do, the reality is that a "fuse" has been blown in my head and it can no longer regulate stress. All I can cope with is washing up. I really cannot see me recovering from this low point in the next 3 months (which is when my sick pay runs out and the school will want to sack me) enough to even to part time. I dont think I can teach again. The question is can I "retire" on the grounds of ill health? I hear its hard to achieve these days. Does anyone have any experience of applying for it with PTSD?

 

[belong to live]

I find it is a Catch 22 situation. I have not been working since November last year and I am seeing my psychologist once a week. I also see a psychiatrist who has filled out a medical certificate as I am on unemployment benefits.

It says I am unfit for work until Feb 16 2013. This exempts me from applying for 6 jobs per week so it helps a little. I live on my own so even though I still pay a small amount of child support it is my choice.

However I think it would be beneficial for me both financially and socially/getting back into the workforce to do some casual work. I actually asked for this from Centrelink and that with my pre existing back injury, PTSD and medications I would like to go through a supportive job agency that would keep this in mind and support me when I needed it.

It is not set up like this and in early Feb I will need another extension on the medical certificate to allow me to be upgraded. Only then can I apply for a job agency with support. (Aimed at people with disabilities).

In the meantime I am struggling financially and had to apply for hardship with my bank as I can't afford the mortgage repayments. This in turn causes me stress and feelings I am not of worth, not adequate as a man and an added negative effect on my already low self esteem and confidence. I am borrowing money off my family and I know I will have to pay it back at some stage.

Last week I applied with a job agency that find work with various employers. I choose to not declare any of my back, mental issues and medications out of concern they would not even look at me. They had me come in for an interview and said I will probably start receiving calls for work within a week.

Today I got an email saying I was not successful. As far as I know they are supposed to keep you on file and when work comes up they call you. I don't know if they found something out.

I feel I am in a state of limbo. My pre existing injury will not allow me to get certain jobs and the PTSD and esteem and confidence issues will greatly limit my employment opportunities.

My posts are always quite long you might notice and I have a lot of racing, impulsive thoughts.

I can find it hard to focus. I display ADHD like symptoms and my last job I was fired from for this reason. Help.

 

[Zef]

I started this thread about 3 months ago and thought I would report that things have gotten better. It's still a struggle. . .but only about half the struggle it used to be. :)

 

[ms spock]

Great news Zef!

So how does that look from day to day?