Working With Ptsd

[HappyJock]

I have posted this thread in the accurate category, I think -- I previously posted it in relationships and PTSD because it also fit that.

I'm second-guessing myself now, but I'm not sure if what I just did will cause more harm in the near future or good. I have PTSD, Borderline symptoms which I have yet to talk about with my T and depression. About two year ago I stopped running my own company because it was when I started remembering everything and when PTSD was fresh and the Depression began. However, I only got help this November.

A partner wants to start the company up again. At first, my reaction was great. I'll be running something with him and be helping people. However, I'm wondering if I got myself into trouble here. I said yes tonight. I don't know yet when we'll officially be starting, but sometime within the next few months, if not weeks.

Given that I have consistent mood swings (to the extreme of idealizing something then hating it), PTSD and Depression as well as "splitting", I can no longer tell which part of me made that choice and it not only frightens me severely, but has gotten me anxious. I don't know which side to believe. I'm paranoid that I can't trust my partner (business) and so on. But I do want to get out there and live normally again or start to. Was it too soon? Should I have given myself more time to recover instead of jumping into something that could worsen my symptoms? I'm not even sure anymore. My head feels like it's boiling now and paranoid. It doesn't make much sense, but I feel like the abuser is watching any time I have any self-control. So it's as if if I'm in control or feel happy, I feel like he's there, whereas if I'm not, it's mixed because I keep splitting and I also keep forgetting what happened in my past.

 

[maelstrom]

I'd say don't push yourself too hard if you are feeling uncertain, especially if it will affect your mental health. But of course, if you feel like trying, it doesn't hurt to try. After all it can be daunting if you haven't done something "normal" for a long time, but it doesn't necessarily mean you don't have the ability to do the job. Always remember to be kind and generous with yourself and go one step at a time. Good luck!

 

[Bloomy]

I dont have any answer to your post all though Im feeling the same way. Exept I run a company on my own. I wanna get back to nromal life, but Im so splitted that I fall inbetween and aint doing nothing instead. Mood swings I reckognize - one day Im like hell yeah Ill do this the next day hell no I aint doing it. Thats why Ive tried to get a regular employment cause it woud not demand so much as a own company does. Well at the moment its hard to get jobs here inNoway with up to 700 applicants on one job in worst cases so... Somehow I need to calm my self down and learn some tools and skills to be able to move on.

Wish you all the best!