Poll Would You Describe Your Life As Productive

[TLight]

Just curious.

Was a post on Facebook with quotes from an old woman who lived through slavery and a horrible master and mistress and the horrific treatment she and her mother received.

I posted, "hate to detract from the point of the horrors of slavery, but sounds like mom and dad."

She pm'd me and said she doesn't know how to even think about my pain. I said something like, 'it's been a long horrible road.' She said back, "But a productive one."

I left it at that. Productive? Um, 8 horribly abusive failed relationships, 4 abortions, 2 rapes as an adult, 2 failed marriages, institutionalized for 6 months, lost my career and ability to work, chronic pain for 22 years, now I'm 50 and I live in a trailer with $900/mo income and can't trust anyone and have serious health issues. No family, no children, no friends, agoraphobic, can't drive. Productive?

I just wonder how many people think ptsd has been 'productive?'

I just wanted to pm back.......'whatever makes you feel better.'
Tell you the truth, pissed me off really. Sorta like 'look at the bright side.'

People are so ignorant of what a living hell this is.

 

[The Albatross]

Hmm. I feel like if I say yeah, it's productive but I would like it to be more so that would just set you off. But you did ask a question, so that is my answer.

 

[Lionheart]

Yeah PTSD is productive in that it produces emotional and mental pain, fear and anxiety, etc, but what is really productive has been my healing from PTSD as it has produced a better quality of life, happiness and the love of family and friends. But in all seriousness I would not normally refer to either of them as productive in my everyday speech and although I don't worry too much about not being able to work, I still had to vote No.

 

[anthony]

Poll added.

Good question too. A really good question actually. I answered no... and the reason is because in my past my life was once productive, though now, after PTSD, with PTSD... I don't consider my life productive at all. Not in the scheme of those who I envy who can work, enjoy others company all day long, and live what is considered quite a normal life. My life is more defined as normal within the scope and boundaries of PTSD, which pisses me off at times, though I still learnt to accept long ago. My new normal is just different, but the issue is that I still have a comparison to make, which is why I say no, at this time of answering that question.

Again... really good question. Just when I thought I had seen it all with this site... out comes something new and interesting.

 

[The Albatross]

I guess "productive" is how you measure it. I am surprised I guess by your answer Anthony because you, in spite of yourself have created something that is so helpful to many people, I consider it productive.

I make about a grand a month. That is not productive by the financial standard. But I assist elderly, worked with children, and know that because of my involvement with some of the youth at the Y, I have been an influence in the lives of young people. That is productive to me on a different level and I am content with that. Surprised also, but it is "enough".

Someone once said somewhere "I wish you enough." (But I don't remember where I heard that.) But to me, it ain't grand, but it's enough. I wish all y'all "enough" and to be judicious with which measuring stick you use.

 

[Loner]

Yea, thats a weird comment on her part, not sure I understand it. She was probably just uncomfortable and didn't really know what to say. I'm not sure how to respond either. I mean, is life in general productive? Whats productive, working, making money, to spend on you and your loved ones? Not many people really make the world a better place with their lives, most just try to enjoy themselves while they are here and not mess things up too bad.

 

[ms spock]

I posted, "hate to detract from the point of the horrors of slavery, but sounds like mom and dad."

She pm'd me and said she doesn't know how to even think about my pain. I said something like, 'it's been a long horrible road.' She said back, "But a productive one."

I left it at that. Productive? Um, 8 horribly abusive failed relationships, 4 abortions, 2 rapes as an adult, 2 failed marriages, institutionalized for 6 months, lost my career and ability to work, chronic pain for 22 years, now I'm 50 and I live in a trailer with $900/mo income and can't trust anyone and have serious health issues. No family, no children, no friends, agoraphobic, can't drive.

I just wanted to pm back.......'whatever makes you feel better.'
Tell you the truth, pissed me off really. Sorta like 'look at the bright side.'

People are so ignorant of what a living hell this is.

People are so ignorant of what a living hell this is, that is for sure.

I have been thinking - what type of response would have been okay? Would if she had left it at I don't even know how to think about your pain - would that be okay? That sounds respectful for me.

I hate that look on the bright stuff, especially if it minimises say like your experience. I don't think that is helpful.

Like what would be a considered response that would have been heartful and reasonable?

I ask this because I would like to know if there was anything that would soothe you in terms of acknowledgement. And I am not sure what would soothe me either.

 

[ms spock]

@The Albatross and @anthony I am shocked/surprised at Anthony's response as well. I was expecting that. I respect that is how Anthony feels about it. But I see running and maintaining the basic website on its own, as extremely productive, nevertheless the management of all the users of the forums, maintaining the rules, dealing with personalities, being fair minded and just and even with all the different people as being productive as well.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I said no. Then I reconsidered. I made the right initial choice.

Unable to work right now. Going to school and doing well, but still very much on the roller coaster.

I have PTSD? What the heck am I producing? A safe, stable, functional person? Oh yes, I'm so incredibly productive, producing at the age of 34 what everyone else did as a child/adolescent/teenager! (Sarcasm, complete with the rolly eyes, lol).

Ok, joking aside, I think the word productive doesn't quite fit. I think that outsiders have no clue how un-productive we can be, simply because we don't flaunt it (actually, we hide it). I mean I have had those weeks where I don't shower, and don't even change clothes for days on end. And I know I'm not the only one, as I spoke to a friend who did very much the same when she was at her worst.

I think we need to find a new productive. Kind of like finding a new normal, yanno? I will become more productive, yes, but it will likely fall below what society deems to be productive. Do I care? No. I just want to find my happy medium.

 

[ms spock]

Okay if I did this poll yesterday I would have put No, not a productive life. Today I am Undecided almost to a Yes. I am pretty much all over the place.

 

[anthony]

I can explain further though for those who define this site as a reason for thinking my life being productive. This site is not my life, it is a very small aspect of it... which in context is why I answered no. This website is a minute aspect of my life... I don't work it 8 hours a day like a job. I couldn't nowadays if I wanted. Sure, I started it out that way, though it had a toll and I learnt that I couldn't do what I had been doing... so whilst I was productive for a small part of my life with PTSD, the toll taught me that I just couldn't maintain it... thus I spend little time here nowadays as a result.

This site is not who I am... and that is what people must remember. This is no different than trying to define anyone's life based on a possession or act alone. Life is much more complex than that... and I believe some above understand that more than others.

 

[arfie]

I voted, "yes." I would not list my PTSD as productive, but it has not been my entire life. My productivity hasn't made me a banker's delight or put me on the cover of Forbes, but I am loved.