How Would You Describe Living With Ptsd?

[hodge]

Always on guard for the next thing, which maybe, hopefully, will not happen. Because I already have too much stuff on my plate, multiple traumas.

 

[Molly Oneill]

It is such a struggle everyday and sometimes you dont even know why... or why this has happened to you.. Nightmare would be the right word..

 

[hodge]

Yes, I agree, Molly, if I had to sum it up in one word, it would be nightmare.

 

[Go Hungry]

Yep, nightmare. A seemingly non-stop parade of horror when I'm lost in it. Shame. Shame that I let people do that sort of thing to me. Shame that I was such a fool as a child, believing in God and trying to live the gospel.. That alone caused me so much grief, aggravated everything so much... A lot of anger, at myself and others.. Sometimes overwhelming..

And then ofcourse there are my Spirits (alts), who embody different things.. Shame and anger for Kid, Lust and cruelty for Fiend, Joy and Wonder for Helios... Everyday life for me. And then that one.. that most horrid voice in my head.. I'm not sure if it's the Devil or some monster or what. But it shows me ugly things, tells me to destroy myself.. Really I think it's just the voice of my symptoms, always poking and prodding....

It's kinda weird, because I'm never quite sure who I am, exactly. Whether or not I'm being ridden by one of the spirits living inside of me.

Sorry, that's a big tangent. But overall, I would say nightmare, and struggle, and a sometimes overwhelming exhaustion. It takes a great deal of mental energy to be symptomatic. Wears you out..

 

[Astroelle]

Isolating, staying at home and frequently in bed, trying to avoid potential triggers. Inescapable, because wherever you hide you can't leave your brain behind. Terrifying, whether it is having a flashback or just the ever present fear that you will have one especially in public.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Thank you all for taking the time to respond. My first thoughts were a living nightmare and isolating. I really appreciate your responses and how hard it is for each of us. Even though I struggle too, it is heart-breaking for me that you all have these experiences and struggles.

 

[Friday]

Special Handling Required

 

[Mallaky]

Dying of thirst while sitting next to a beautiful river. Everytime you try to reach in and bring some water to your mouth it just pours from your hand, leaving it completely dry.

 

[The Albatross]

Like a cup that runneth over and sometimes I don't have a dish or paper towel.

Seriously though, I guess in a sentence I would say... "Living with PTSD is chronically confusing, confounding and sometimes frustration, anxiety or panic inducing which is more pronounced with the fatigue induced by attempting to do the daily management."

 

[Recovery4Me]

Hand to hand combat.

 

[Higgins]

The loss of a life I thought was possible.

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

Waiting....for the thought or the anxiety to subside. Waiting for the Valium to kick in. Waiting for your therapy to start working, waiting to feel better. Laying in bed for days hardly able to force your eyes open, waiting to die. Waiting for it, in a thought, in a dream, in an instant the worst thing that ever happened to you is happening all over again. Everyday until the waiting is over.