• We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
  • Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.

Relationship Wow.. Had A Talk With My Sufferer Last Night.

Status
Not open for further replies.
My therapist told me in the beginning of therapy that he was going to try to help me integrate this (ptsd/trauma) into my personality. It makes me smile to think of "having a Personality Integration," like some kind of operation (mostly without the anesthesia -grrr). But after a year I'm beginning to see what he meant. I'm still me, but with changes, adjustments and way more knowledge about myself.

Take care, hope you both come around to a good place together.
 
I took it to mean that there would be aspects of the trauma that would always be with me ( new perspectives as well as symptoms). These things could be dealt with in a way that would be unique to my own personality - I would be "myself" and not deny my own self in how I coped with things. This, of course, is given that a lot of healing is and has taken place at the same time.

Wow, this is really hard to explain - I think I've felt this on an intuitive level - I'm really having to think!

For example - I've never been comfortable letting anyone know that I'm mad about anything. At this point I need to learn how to do this because it's obvious that suppression of my anger over the trauma is a big deal - emotionally, physically, and in the treatment of my PTSD. It's not possible for me to get better and still keep it all inside.

So, how do I work with my personality - one that likes to please others, etc - to keep what are the good and true parts of ME that I don't want to lose and still find a way to communicate my anger? A way that fits me, deals with the (sometimes overblown) emotion and preserves my relationships all at the same time? Figuring this out would be an example of dealing with what PTSD has left me with in a way that is integrated with my personality.

Actually what I think he really meant, now that I think about it, was: "This is going to hurt like hell, I'm going to twist you around like a pretzel until you crumble into little bits and you are going to be really pissed off but someday you'll thank me." LOL! (oh yeah: "and I'll do it so gently you'll be willing to go along with it").

My therapist is great by the way, just in case someone took that the wrong way. Hope that explains it a little?
 
Saw your response Angus. I guess one thing I like about here is that no one person has the answer for anyone else. But as long as we can acknowledge our differences, not feel like we have to "convert" anyone else, it's all good.

Hoping your wife can find healing.

ISH
 
Angus - You are exactly where I was a year ago - my husband of 19 years left myself and our daughter...he also needed his time and space - however he also through in that he no longer wanted any more responsiblilties - like I said that was a year ago. Its been a tough road, but I have truly discovered in that year that I am a stronger person than I ever imagined. I also discovered that our daughter is amazing and was my beacon through this all. Sadly I do not know where he is, and no he has never returned home. I have learned now to pick up my life - remember the good memories, however its time to move on.

There comes a point when I have to realize the best thing I could do for him was to let him go...I realized that in trying to help him, it just made him worse.

I am by no means saying that this will happen to you - I pray things will go better for you, what Im saying is that yes this was the worst thing I had to go through, but my daughter and I are making it. A little bruised, but ultimatley ok. :)
 
Angus - Yes he did - after he came to terms with what he was dealing with. He hid his PTSD for 4 years (and did a good job of it). - but it wasnt until 3 months after he left home that he finaly sought the correct help. I believe he is still going, not sure (we dont talk). He has alot of years of work ahead of him. Till this day we still dont know where he is. We cannot contact him - he will text our daughter on occasion.
 
Angus- We all have a journey in life that we must take - and like I've told my daughter this may the worst things that we have to go through, but it's how you get through it that defines you. I am greatful for my friends that have helped me with advice or just to listen to me vent - I have also been blessed with sites such as this that have guided me as well.

None of asked for this

Hang in there yourself- you are not alone
 
When I dropped our son off at her apt. a few minutes ago, she told me she will be calling the therapist office this week. I was afraid she wasn't going to, even though she promised.. I'm glad to be proven wrong.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Donation drives

2026 Donation Goal

Goal
$1,800.00
Earned
$910.00
This donation drive ends in
0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds
  50.6%

Trending content

Featured content

Latest posts

Back
Top Bottom