Write what you want your life to look like

[Teasel]

Yeah, after posting my long list, actually I'd like to get to a point of not hurting myself anymore.

 

[AnD]

Yeah, after posting my long list, actually I'd like to get to a point of not hurting myself anymore.

I know you will get there, my friend

 

[TruthSeeker]

I want to deal with my fear of abandonment and me sabotaging myself with self abandonment

I want to deal with my fear of abandonment and me sabotaging myself with self abandonment

Yeah, the adoption thing had me stuck and I was abandoned a couple of years ago by my family; that's what it felt like through and through....and I've moved forward. I drew my adoption day and created the scene I hope had happened.....and for the family, realized that while I don't choose my family I'm not responsible for "how we look as a family, keeping family secrets, and lying to pretend we have a functional, nice family" nor do I have to be loved by them (cause it's not ever going to happen). The realization that walking away from family who is dysfunctional, hurtful, and abusive to me makes me different from them.

I'd rather keep my integrity rather than lose it and myself by trying to be wanted and feel a belonging with my adoptive family-just to belong-to what?-a heap of dysfunction? I can be loved by friends who treat me, and include me in their family occasions.....and who want to see me happy.

So can you! Find your self, the person you want to be, and develop good memories of that self and it's value system. Dysfunction has with it no right and wrong-just abuse, lies, and secrets. Have you found the you that you want to hang on to....the one different from your family (not that we didn't do some things dysfunctional to fit in-but in my case, I went against the drunkness and spoke up about it in a rebel kinda way-and earned the bad child title).

It's just me now without the dysfunctional family, and no dysfunction but my own and no roles or games to play. Nothing to hide....and I don't feel trapped like I was in a bad movie. Life is so much better without them-I wish for my daughter some day to get well....but that's all.

 

[AnD]

Thanks for the encouragement @TruthSeeker ?

 

[DharmaGirl]

I want to spend the winter up-cycling furniture, I just got a Basset dresser and side table for $5!! I have ideas for all the pieces I have now! I also want to art journal a LOT more! Work on seedlings in Feb. Work on getting rid of stuff. Lots of things to do.

 

[AnD]

I want to spend the winter up-cycling furniture, I just got a Basset dresser and side table for $5!! I have ideas for all the pieces I have now! I also want to art journal a LOT more! Work on seedlings in Feb. Work on getting rid of stuff. Lots of things to do.

I love your creativity!

 

[Lionheart]

I want effective pain management and increased mobility. I want to be able to walk to the store without the use of a walker and the type of difficulties that I have been having recently.

I hope for reduced anxiety flare-ups and effective medication management for Stress, Depression, Panic, Chronic Pain, and Fibromyalgia. I would like to get good sleep rather than struggling with insomnia.

So, in short, I hope for improved health...I also hope to have a closer relationship with my niece and my daughter. And I want to live alone or with a family member, such as my daughter.

I want to live out the remainder of my life quietly and peacefully without so much pain and struggle to survive.

 

[Ellabella44]

I want to find a job situation that I can handle. The right place is somewhere. In working with a disability office to find one.

 

[AnD]

I hope you both will get what you need and want @Lionheart777 and @Ellabella44

 

[TruthSeeker]

I want to find a job situation that I can handle. The right place is somewhere. In working with a disability office to find one.

Good luck with that!

 

[TruthSeeker]

I want effective pain management and increased mobility. I want to be able to walk to the store without the use of a walker and the type of difficulties that I have been having recently.

I hope for reduced anxiety flare-ups and effective medication management for Stress, Depression, Panic, Chronic Pain, and Fibromyalgia. I would like to get good sleep rather than struggling with insomnia.

So, in short, I hope for improved health...I also hope to have a closer relationship with my niece and my daughter. And I want to live alone or with a family member, such as my daughter.

I want to live out the remainder of my life quietly and peacefully without so much pain and struggle to survive.

@ Lionheart I know that people at my drumming/shamanic journey sessions I attend at the Unitarian Universalists church use journeying to take a break from their health and limited walking health related issues. It is also very stress reducing and I feel so much better after journeying. Journeying-is always self initiated (not shrink led) and I journey with my own intent (to get an answer to a question, to get my parts to cooperate on an issue, to grieve my losses, and to find compassion in the process, and to give to others what they themselves need (like sending someone positive energy or saying goodbye to someone who is toxic to me, in a kind way by sending positive energy and good wishes). Shamanism is a mindful practice, (kinda like self-hypnosis) that can allow our imagination to take us to another safe place.....for a while, and work on an issue, or just take a break from daily pain. I can use it to reduce pain .....and in the journeying moment, I am pain free and afterwards.....pain is much reduced. Requires no meds, just your imagination.....The part I like about it the most is that the practice believes in "soul loss" and the ability to retrieve lost parts of one's soul to become more whole and functioning. This is what I use to move forward with PTSD. It is a self-compassionate practice.

 

[AnD]

I want to present in my body and in the now. I want my fears to pass through me but not linger and rot.