Yesterday I Was Terrified.

[jc3]

I rented a plot at the community garden this year. Every Monday evening and Thursday morning there are shared work sessions. It's a beautiful place. There is a wide range of herbs, fruits and vegetables grown around the entire perimeter. I enjoy volunteering while I'm not tending to my own garden. Yesterday I was walking towards the garden, cutting through a field which used to be connected to a few softball fields that I actually played in years ago. As I made my way up the hill I saw my ex walking towards me with her two dogs. My vision was impaired since I didn't have my prescription eye glasses on at the time, but I knew it was her. I instantly froze and had those familiar bodily sensations of immense panic and fear instantly overwhelm me. I tried to avoid her as much as I could. There were no words shared. In reality it only occupied about thirty seconds of my day but the experience crushed me for about an hour. I could not relax and stop thinking about running away to isolate. My inner critic went on an instant rampage telling me that I was a complete coward for avoiding her and that I lacked total courage. My sensitivity to my surroundings was amplified. I made it to the garden but left 5 minutes later. I was under such immense stress and fear that any noise made from others around me sent me into immediate panic. It was as if I was on a vicious battlefield. I did not find any relief until I made it home but thankfully knew what was going on. I am thankful for being aware of the condition and its triggers. Does or has anyone else ever felt so brutally affected by seeing your ex?

 

[EveHarrington]

Was your ex abusive toward you?

If so, I think your reaction is very common.

:hug: