You Can Ignore This

[Muttly]

I'm sorry I've been so needy lately. I'm sorry I'm starting a new thread. I really want to give here more than I take.

I'm just... ever since the memories came together and we told our therapist, we've been struggling. And I guess at first we were numb? something. But that has worn off and each day is getting harder and today is a day, when we (well some of us) really wish suicide was an option. It's not. I am not in danger of doing that. I wish I could though. I don't want to be alive. I don't think I can pull my shit togehter. Or maybe I'm just tired?

And it's hard to manage the self-destructive parts and we are so nonfunctional and we have stuff we should really be getting done, which starts the whole suicidal thought loop all over again.

 

[Journeyman]

I'm sorry I've been so needy lately. I'm sorry I'm starting a new thread. I really want to give here mor...

is this the first time that all of your memories have came together like this?

 

[ladee]

@walter mitty , no need to apologize for needing to be heard. For needing.
When we are exhausted and having the internal battle you are..we HAVE to have a place to go to get it out. And with people who understand.
And you do give and you do support when you can.
But this is where we lay our pain, and others can at least let you know we understand your struggle. Its words on a screen..but it comes from our heart.
I hope you get some rest. Some good sleep.
And am very glad to hear ending your life is not an option.
Share all you want and need to. We are here. We are listening. And we are supporting you.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

Please know that you are giving a great deal to the community in your reaching out. I, too, struggle with feeling I'm either asking or sharing too much and giving too little at times. But then I experience a moment, a word, a memory, or just a deeply resonating feeling in the reading of what another shares and it makes all the difference. You're giving someone somewhere the strength to also reach out. Thanks for doing that. Don't forget to be kind to you and breathe.....deeply.....on purpose......and often. My heart sends yours some hugs from afar. .

 

[Muttly]

is this the first time that all of your memories have came together like this?

yes