You Know You Are Healing When...

[shatter eyes]

When ur phone is not on silent fulltime to prevent getting spooked and activated by ring ring buzz buzz.

When the kitchen knives stop swirling ideas of going on a rampage... do it... come on do it...

When you tell urself i think i should not carry the baton and tactical carbon stake in public anymore. I will leave it at home.

I am not stuck in "come at me bro" mode....

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

When yesterday, you were more than okay with leaving this painful, f*cked up, chaotic, insane, and all too often very heartless world/existence (in thoughts only), but today, upon rising from a nice long deep sleep after a day and night full of sporadic tears and fears spilling over around every turn, and then some, you're as excited as a kid in a candy shop to see what the day holds in store, eagerly getting up, handling basic needs with ease and going outside to walk, breathe, explore, meditate, remain in awe at the beauty of it all, and greet the wild things.

Those particular wild things are much more pleasant than the other flavor of wild things that wiggle their way into my mind some days. Grateful for the release, for sure, although I remain pretty damn uncomfortable during the processes, still. I remember when it used to take weeks or more to find my way back out of a depressive ditch. (knock on wood) May the rest of this day and this mind be kind. Go, team, go. Cell-ph care/kindness for the win, with any luck.

 

[TruthSeeker]

I gave up the "seizure meds" have caused my intermittent foggy-headed self for over 25 years excuse... came to grips with dissociation.
8 months into therapy for PTSD and more recently I'm not actively, nor daily, trying to find reasons to fire my therapist. I guess I'm beginning to trust....
Paranoia has really diminished-almost gone....but sicko brother isn't having people follow me everywhere and take photos of me out and about on my own anymore either....that has helped a lot.
I'm no longer terrified to be alone. I put away the shotgun I bought last summer (which someone else helped me load and unload....LOL) when I moved into a new home by myself....I hate guns...it was cheaper than an ADT system.....I don't need a gun to feel safe anymore.....gun stays packed in closet-far away to be of no use in a threatening situation.
I don't check my doors and window locks at least 3-4 times before going to bed......if I had.
I don't look at the floor as much when I walk down the hall at work....I plaster on a smile, hold my head up, and give a how do you do......most days....
I'm no longer terrified to be alone...alone is beginning to have many perks....mainly it is predictable and not negative.....but also I'm free to do and choose what I want to do....a new experience.
I'm not having daily anxiety attacks.......and now I'll call them anxiety attacks....before I was just upset....sometimes for days....LOL
I recognize that I have a long way to go to feel healed, years, but have a basic plan to get there.....and
I no longer feel that I'm wacko crazy....just different in a unique, maybe more kind and accepting kind of way.

 

[Daydreamer]

When breathing exercises are finally working :)

 

[EveHarrington]

You plan for the future

 

[Angrboda]

@EveHarrington Yes!

Someone was asking me questions about a book I was reading earlier, and I realized that the reason I was starting to take notes and actually study the material I was going over rather than just reading it was because I actually plan on using it one day. I haven't felt like that was going to happen for a long time.

 

[EveHarrington]

....you finally learn how to slow down and not live every moment on fast forward lol