Your Turning Point In Seeking Healing

[LizardViolet]

Supporter here. I have been curious lately about the path to healing. I presume that those who have suffered a trauma or multiple traumas spend some time just existing, just getting by from day to day. And then perhaps one day the last piece falls into place, or you hear or read one more time about the possibility of healing, or maybe someone you know or know of has some success, or dies without ever healing.

What, for you, were the key events, or pieces of information, or moments, that put you on a path to trying to heal?

A related question is, did you feel for some length of time that you were powerless to affect your own life and what is inside your head? And did you reach a point where you decided that you have some power to steer your life after all? If you did, what changed for you? What was important in changing your mind about your own power?

 

[The Albatross]

I am a "sufferer"
Key events: almost killing myself with booze and going to recovery

a peer "understanding my language" who was talking with me who understood I was describing disassociating because he had personal experiences that others didn't (when I learned I had PTSD)

Going back to therapy and learning that I had PTSD

Finding the forum and learning from others how to better manage my PTSD

Related question: Yes for some length of time, several times I felt powerless to affect my own life and what was inside my head. I relied on mentorship with recovery sponsors before I began to regain some confidence and a renewed sense of self acceptance and self worth that I could steer my life (Captain my own ship, I call it). What changed for me was that I understood that my family system was also sick and dysfunctional and that I needed to learn and set boundaries, self parenting skills, communication skills. Hmmm. The important thing about changing my mind about my own power was that self reliance and autonomy trump everything else. People will fail, reliance on others will dissolve or be damaged. If I am going to live a life... it is to be on my own two feet. I can extend and withdrawl from other relationships or they from me... but healing, for me/by me is something loving I do for myself.

???:unsure:

 

[The Albatross]

Very good questions... thought provoking and I liked that. Thank you. Noticably absent was my "loved ones". In my case, both mine and my husband's family dynamic were dysfunctional.

 

[discarded]

I too find this a very good question. Initially it took for our marriage to almost breakdown for my sufferer to sek help. This latest episode has been different and is withdrawal from life a lot worse. Our marriage has broken down and we have separated. I am hoping time on his own will be what he needs to make that decision. I don't hold out much for our marriage but I do wish him to be the best that he can given his PTSD.

I am interested to hear other experiences if anyone is prepared to share.

 

[Jen93]

My turning point happened this summer when I understood that my memories actually were real and that I had to confront them. It took YouTube and google images to validate my abusers as real. (I had a hope that I was making them up.)

I hit rock bottom in the summer-daily flashbacks and panic attacks in school to the point where I actually was considering dropping out.)

 

[Venusian]

I had been suffering with PTSD for most of my life but I didn't know why I would have had it. I blocked all memory of the trauma itself but I had been reading articles on PTSD and I related to a lot of what had been said. It wasn't until I developed asthma and the symptoms triggered the memories to start flooding back that I decided to look for support.

At first it was the part of the memory that I never forgot that began to haunt me and would not go away that I began to look for help online and I found a forum that was set up for rape survivors. I posted my story and then after a comment from someone, the walls came down. Bit by bit the memory returned and it wasn't until the memory of being suffocated and nearly killed that I sought out a therapist.

 

[Meadowsweet]

I presume that those who have suffered a trauma or multiple traumas spend some time just existing, just getting by from day to day.

I'm not sure this is strictly true. I think I spent a long time minimising and believing that I could manage if I did this, or when that happened. So I have always been trying to change in some way or another (whether healthy or not)

What, for you, were the key events, or pieces of information, or moments, that put you on a path to trying to heal?

The first time I had a turning point was leaving an abusive relationship. I didn't seek professional help, but I tried to change my lifestyle.

The next time, I had been attacked again and tried to change myself because I blamed myself. It then took 4 years of trying very hard to change my life, and people not understanding what I was going through, for me to seek professional help.

did you feel for some length of time that you were powerless to affect your own life and what is inside your head?

seeking professional help was like admitting that I was powerless and had failed to help myself.

And did you reach a point where you decided that you have some power to steer your life after all? If you did, what changed for you? What was important in changing your mind about your own power?

The fact that the professionals messed me around and failed to help has left me by myself again.

I don't have the answers to know how to help myself and sometimes I feel hopeless and useless. But there really is only me, and I refuse to let myself down (or let my children down).

 

[maddog]

I definitely was one of those who did just "exist" for a period of time, namely throughout my entire young adulthood. Life was about going through the motions with as many restrictive, almost suffocating, controls as possible, to ensure that I never had time to think, never had capacity to feel any emotion and really never deviated from the punishing coping regiment I had set for myself. Survival mode carried me a long long way, in terms of chronology and physical distance, from my trauma, but actually ensured that I remained tightly bound to it.

As another sad reality to my story, the turning point, the point at which I realised things had to change, wasn't of my own doing. Quite honestly, I experienced a series of extreme life stressors that were directly triggering of past trauma, and my entire world fell apart. I truly believed I was going crazy, veered off the rails significantly, became embroiled in criminal behaviour and very very almost lost everything, including my life.

As I crashed to rock bottom, I did something out of desperation I never would have dreamed - I sought professional help.

And that's where my life turned around. It happened gradually, as more of a process of learning to trust and establishing a stable emotional base with someone who could herd me back down the right path, and so the sense of believing I could affect control over my life occurred gradually and in a subtle way. I think I'm still grappling to get my head around that part, but I now have much greater insight, an acceptance, albeit a reluctant one, of my plight, a huge degree of processing of past trauma (with a lot left to do) and a sense of stability in the context of several key human relationships that I never had beforehand.

My story is a little depressing, even to me, as I recount it, and it certainly doesn't inspire any notion of reaching any great revellation or turning point, but somehow, I suppose it illustrates that the path to recovery doesn't have to be a pretty one, or a conventional one, or even a very flattering or inspiring one. But whatever gets you there gets you there, and while I am far far from the end of my journey, at least now I have embarked upon it, and perhaps some day, if I keep believing and keep reaching out for help and keep on keeping on, I might even get there.

Maddog

 

[Tanishq]

What, for you, were the key events, or pieces of information, or moments, that put you on a path to trying to heal?

Physical issue of frequent urination. This has squeezed me a lot and to the extent that I can't think of going college or sit in vehicle/bus to reach there.

A related question is, did you feel for some length of time that you were powerless to affect your own life and what is inside your head?

I haven't give up yet. Yes, I did feel powerless and completely lost from my life. I remember I have asked to god to give my life back and I can't live with this way. My issues have completely paralyzed me mentally.

And did you reach a point where you decided that you have some power to steer your life after all? If you did, what changed for you? What was important in changing your mind about your own power?

Get some spiritual healing and I am on my way. I am relieved now that I am on right path after 1 year of struggling with physical issues.

 

[LizardViolet]

Thank you for your willingness to open up.

 

[Shellbell]

My turning point in seeking professional help was being severely depressed, almost to the point of being unable to function. Having been a highly functioning person prior to that, this was a shock.

I was at rock bottom and had to acknowledge that this was a serious situation and that whatever was required I needed to do and I needed to listen to people who were trained in this.

I started taking medication - which I hate, but acknowledge I do need it, but it's not forever.

And as much as I don't want to do it I need and have started having CBT/Exposure/EMDR therapies.

I think it often takes a crash to rock bottom to get the help needed.

 

[heidi]

I think I tried all along to heal myself and it wasn't working. I felt like I should look for help and then I sought help and I found help is not so simple either.