Youth Group Retreat Tomorrow?!?

[Healing Reins]

So I have a youth group retreat tomorrow...and I have really bad nightmares about the night I was raped, and I was wondering what you guys do so you don't get nightmares...I've talked to my youth group leader a little about the nightmares, but she doesn't understand how bad they are....my mom says I talk in my sleep..asking him to stop..but I don't know if I believe her or not..Am I weird? I feel totally weird posting about this...

ANYWAY I'm scared I'll have a nightmare..or nightmares for that matter it's a 3 day trip. And I'm really scared.

Questions:
1) What soothes you to help you sleep?
2) Do you have nightmares...if so how do you calm down from them?
3) Do nightmares ever start to fade?

I'm only asking 3 because my trauma happened a year ago, and I was wondering if they ever seem to stop... maybe it's too soon? I'm just curious about when they will stop. . ...

Thanks to everyone who posts!! XD

Thanks!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I can't comment so much on nightmares at night as mine only come in the day (my trauma was during the day), so no naps=no nightmares for me. However, I would like to suggest a few things.

I think it's a good idea to keep a journal about your nightmares. This will help you track any patterns between daytime stressors and nighttime disturbances. (I do this for my parasomnia). Of course if you have nightmares every night, it may be a bit harder to see patterns emerge.

Another thing that can help is getting into an evening routine. That is, no tv, Internet, phone for an hour or so before bed. Get into a pattern of doing the same exact things before bed every evening. This can help wind your system down so that sleep improves. There are other sleep hygiene tips that may help improve your sleep & decrease your nightmares.

 

[Healing Reins]

Thank you so much!! : )

 

[Viosinger]

I would go with @Solara's advice on this, as it's probably the best.

From personal experience, here's where I'm at:
1. The best thing is being genuinely tired. If I keep a steady schedule, get up at a decent hour, etc, sleeping is at least easier.
2. I still sometimes have nightmares. My dog helps when I wake up, seeing a comforting face in general. At something like a retreat, trying to make sure you have the most comforting/well-acquainted face nearby can be comforting. Sometimes, that's not enough and I try to kick my brain into a very logical place, making simple "now" and "then" comparisons, even if I have to whisper it to myself, pointing out to myself what is different right now from when my trauma happened. (Things like where I am geographically, who I'm with, what's in the room, how much time has passed, my age now, etc). Somewhere I saw a thread with a list of grounding techniques that can help. Another I've used is to suck on a mint and describe it to yourself, every bit of the sensory experience.
3. I can't promise anything, everyone is different. But my nightmares have gotten much, much better over time. I was afraid to sleep for a year or two because I'd have a mix of nightmares and night terrors (I'd wake up and it would still be there). It's been almost 10 years now. I still have nightmares sometimes, but they're usually much less severe and I'm more likely to be able to fall back asleep afterwards.

I hope it goes well! I had some great times at youth group retreats growing up :-)

 

[rainy_daze]

I don't think this is a weird thing to post about at all, and it's a good topic. It shows you're wanting to learn ways to cope better. That's great @Taia12896 . Good advice from Solara and Viossinger.

1) I gripped onto a teddy bear last night. At one point I woke up and cuddled into my partner instead. I also cuddle into my pillow. I feel stupid, but really, anything comforting that feels nice to touch. A self-soothing thing. Getting my body into a state that feels comfortable. So maybe you have something that feels nice that calms you that you can have with you? Or a way you can relax your mind. Even something comforting you can have next to your bed or in your bag, sort of like something to ground yourself and know that the nightmare is over.

2) I go through phases of nightmares. I didn't have one last night, which is great. I'm not sure how I calm down from them. I tell my partner I had a horrible dream and he says that it's okay. I guess I tell myself the nightmare is over. I have a cry sometimes. Good question.

3) I don't know the answer to that one, but the optimist in me says Yes. I don't have nightmares every night. It's a year since your trauma, so give yourself time.

I hope you have a lovely time at your youth group trip :tup:.

 

[cherryblossom]

I can't really help with your upcoming issue with regards to a 'quick fix' for nightmares. I'm afraid I don't know of any.

3) Do nightmares ever start to fade?

Yes, they can and do fade. Or at least they did for me, once I had processed my trauma in therapy. The nightmares still return during stressful times in my life (along with many of the other PTSD symptoms). The only 'cure' for nightmares that I know of is to process your trauma in therapy, and that can't be done in a matter of days of weeks.

 

[keifer]

I've only read about one drug which helps prevent nightmares, Prazosin. When you quit taking it, they come back. I've done what other people have here. My journal is filled with my nightmares and dreams. I too talk in my sleep now, something I've not done before. They say dreams/nightmares are your brains way of processing the data or rather re-processing to understand and re-file it.

 

[PandaBear12212]

1) I listen to a meditation/relaxation playlist I created on YouTube :) (97 songs and growing). I know you might not be able to use it on the treat, but I would be happy to send you the link if it would help you sleep :) It has worked for a couple friends of mine as well.

2) Yes, I do. Every night. Normally when I wake up I try to write about it or blog about it, just talk about it in any way as soon as possible. Because it's like if it's in my head then it kind of grows and it all gets too much to tolerate.

3) To be honest with you mine are currently getting worse, because I'm sort of in an emotional relapse (boyfriend of two years just left me). But for a time, while he was still my boyfriend the nightmares faded for a good time. But then my support (boyfriend), left, so that's why I'm in relapse. I have nightmares about both the abuse and the boyfriend who left, making it two times as strong.

I'm not trying to make you scared or make you feel like you need a relationship for the nightmares to go away. But I guess more of a support group. I'm here if you ever want to talk. But I'm very glad you joined this site, lots of support on here! :) I would try by any means (writing, talking to someone, etc.) getting that dream out. Like imagine the nightmares kind of flowing out of your mouth when you talk about it, or flowing out of your fingertips when you write about it. Sort of release the energy in safe way, if that makes sense. :)

Don't worry I'm a sleep talker too!

 

[CourageofSnow]

Hi Taia12896,

I would suggest that you have a good support network around you and if possible be put in the same cabin as someone who you trust.

Just last weekend I was away with a women's church group. I had a night terror where I was fighting and I hit the cabin wall and metal bunk bed, screaming and woke up two cabins! Thankfully I don't have a broken hand, just soft tissue damage.

I am grateful that they all knew me and prayed for me. One friend in particular was able to stay up with me and just sat with me..

I have had nightmares for a while now and they are getting less and less. I am currently coming off the Valium and my job is ending (last day is tomorrow) so there is a bit of a stress..

In answer to your questions:

1) Surrounding myself with familiar things - I took my own pillow to camp, something which I can squeeze and hug!

2) I have found that talking things out has helped but for me praying has been key.

3) As you work through your trauma things will get easier. My nightmares are a lot less than 18 months ago...

I hope this helps!

 

[Echo]

@Taia12896 - I understand how frightening it is to have nightmares about rape. I have had them too, though they are not so bad at the moment. For me it is all about flashbacks just now - mostly things happening in my body without any storyline attached to them. I hope the nightmares pass for you, too. It is so wearing to have them every night.

I was wondering whether you are more worried about having the nightmares away from home, though, than about the nightmares themselves. Are you worrying about how other people will react? Or how you will react when you are not in familiar surroundings with your mum there to comfort you?

Will you be sleeping in a shared room or a dormitory? Are you worrying about disturbing other people? If you do shout out, remember that people won't know what is going on in your nightmare, and you don't have to tell them unless you want to do so. They'll just think you are having the kind of nightmares they will be used to. And it is ok if you need to cry afterwards. Again people don't need to know why unless you want to say.

I think the idea of having something to cuddle is a really good idea. I am much older than you, but it really helps me to have a pillow to cuddle down the length of my body. You might find it helpful to take a cuddly toy from home, if you have any. You could perhaps also put some drops of essential aromatherapy oil, like lavender, on your pillow or toy. It helps you sleep and relax and might be comforting when you wake up. Maybe a photo of your family or a pet to look at. Anything really that tells you you are safe.

 

[mike220]

@Taia12896 I used to get horrible nightmares and still sometimes do... I have found something though that has helped me out greatly and that is a breathing exercise. It only takes 30 seconds to do right before I go to sleep. Breathe in and out your nose for 30 seconds slowly and think about all the good in your life. This helps your brain focus on the good and not the bad. My head shrink told me to start and since ive started the night terrors have been much better. I hope you try it... o and don't worry about it if it happens while you are on the trip. Remember to have fun and enjoy your time, and if it does happen its okay your still a strong individual who can overcome any adversity.

 

[Healing Reins]

Thank you guys for all the support! It means so much to me! Honestly! :] I went on the trip and only had one nightmare! So thank you for all your tips