Military Loss Of Control

[CS67ART]

My freak outs represent a loss of control, that is what I find most alarming. I've always been able to control it but lately its controlling me which puts me further on guard. The VA is just exasperating this because they take a one size fits all approach, which doesn't work because we are all different and have different reasons for losing control. When the machine is broken it could any number of parts, its like changing the fuel pump when the water pump is broken, you can put new fuel pumps on all day but the car is still going to overheat.

 

[ladee]

Love your analogy !!! What a perfect way to look at it. Yes, we do get weary of being put in a category that may or may not fit us.. some of us have other things going on as well, so , like you say, one size fits all does not work or help us. I hope you find the help you need and in the meantime, glad you are here. A wonderful community to support and encourage you as you are trying to find a T that will help you...
Thank you for sharing your unique take on our disease.... hope to see you around more...

 

[CS67ART]

Love your analogy !!! What a perfect way to look at it. Yes, we do get weary of being put in a category t...

Well I'm quickly discovering the truth, that only we vets can help heal ourselves. They really do mean well, most of the time but they don't have the life experience to understand us. I want to say to my therapist, grab a 100lb ruck and spend a month in the bush with me, let me teach you to understand me. BE ME, just for one day, be me and when you're exhausted and can't take the pain anymore then lets talk.

 

[Kodah]

I tried many things going through this. What works for one, doesn't always work for another. At times I tried many things and then at times, I just wanted to be left alone.

 

[Friday]

**** https://www.myptsd.com/threads/the-ptsd-cup-explanation.83659/. *****

Dealing With Anger

Link Removed


This is a f*ckload of info, don't try to process it all at once. Well. You could. But if you're like me you'll end up throwing something at a wall.

• StressCup? Immediately useful block of instruction.
• Dealing with Anger? Takes time & a lot of hard work.
• Exposure therapy? Whether dealing with stressors & triggers to get the f*ck rid of them (2nd half of the article), or going after root cause (1st half)? Buckle in for the long haul. It's gonna be one helluva ride.

SemperFi


& Yea... If it were a throw down between loss of control & not able to trust my own judgement? IDFK which would win as what I hate most about this damn disorder. Those links about really form the tripod in how I go about getting both squared away, again.

 

[CS67ART]

I can go through an hour of their therapy, and I get more out of five minutes with another vet. I'm serious, I've had two good therapists, one that I trust like a sister, but they fail to understand I'm part machine; when I feel on guard that machine takes over and there is nothing I can do to turn it off. Its a defense mechanism, and the more I feel on guard the harder it is to turn it off.

I tried many things going through this. What works for one, doesn't always work for another. At times I...

We have to be there for each other because no one else can be. Squat with me, have a dip, lets spit and talk.. or not talk at all but we understand each other without saying a word. Its all about trust.

 

[Sighs]

@CS67ART - I know that my vet has struggled with well meaning civilian therapists. Having said that, he is often surprised by how well I understand him. I am not a vet, but my father and three uncles are. Their war was before I was born so I thought all men behaved the way they do.

I hope that you have access to other vets and you can help each other heal. My vet has very limited contact with other vets. I wish he had more.

 

[Nevada00]

I'm a PTSD/TBI vet supporter. I'm so thankful this forum exists and that anyone suffering or supporting (military/first responders or not) can see a different point of view to gain understanding. You're all very brave to not only talk about the things you've been through but in my opinion to consciously type it out and see it in black and white is more of a stark reality that takes some serious courage. From the military caregiver side, I'm currently fighting alongside other active duty vets and DOD personnel to draw some serious attention to the lack of overlap the vet services occupies. (Or lack thereof) No one knows who's job is to do or supply what to the wounded and caregivers, (whether informational or otherwise) essentially leaving little to no resources for help until stuff hits the fan and it's too late. I'm currently separated from my vet, but will never stop doing what I can to help him and my army family/friends get the attention they so deserve. How about starting by cutting all the red tape between the VA and civilian physicians? They need to make it way easier to see a civilian specialist or primary care when the va is backed up. There's no reason my husband and I should drive 3 hours out of state for a neurological exam only to sit in a parking lot waiting for a government-certified specialist that never shows. THEN having to call a liaison (God forbid we have a direct number for the doctors office) only to find out we have to reschedule and it was a typo. They weren't even open that day. I don't suffer from PTSD but situations like that would make me snap out for sure if I did. It's a system set to fail before it starts. I commend anyone willing to hurry up and wait in the VA. It takes perseverance and patience for sure.

 

[CS67ART]

@CS67ART - I know that my vet has struggled with well meaning civilian therapists. Ha...

There's probably not a lot of vets in New Zealand just due to the raw numbers, small armed forces. But on the other hand that should make it easier to connect. I've had to establish my vet network outside the VA, the VA has nothing to do with it except that it was at the VA where we were able to make initial contact.

 

[CS67ART]

I'm a PTSD/TBI vet supporter. I'm so thankful this forum exists and that anyone suffering or supportin...

I've had my share of BS to deal with at the VA too, for the most part on the ground the people I've dealt with are good to me, but all it takes are a few rotten apples to undermine all the good.

 

[Sighs]

There's probably not a lot of vets in New Zealand

Damned Kiwis refuse to change their flag! ;) I'm an Aussie mate, as is my vet. :)

Given our deployments to Vietnam, East Timor, Rwanda, Iraq and Afghanistan there are enough of them around, but the sheer distance of our massive sparsely populated country is an issue. My vet can't cope with cities so we live in the country. Means its a 5 hour round trip to the nearest 'drop in' centre for vets. Makes it hard.

 

[CS67ART]

Damned Kiwis refuse to change their flag! ;) I'm an Aussie mate, as is my vet. :)

Given our deployments...

Since you live in the country I may have a suggestion with something we're putting together here. Most of us vets feel safer in the bush, we may be on guard but its a different kind of guard, there's not much that can hurt me out there. We're putting together a hiking group for veterans, over night treks into the mountains, rappelling etc. Not too physically difficult but just a chance to get out away from other people, relax and talk among ourselves. I also see it as a confidence builder. There may be something like that already established in NZ but if not your vet could get together with a few buddies and make it happen.