Why Do People Want To Wear Ptsd As A Merit Badge?

[lostforgottensoul]

When bored, I tend to just swift through old and very old threads. Most times I learn a bunch which is why I do it. It has sort of taken the place of google and youtube in a way.

Anyway, Ive come across many threads in doing so where some claim to have PTSD for some pretty insignifcant, some signifcant stressors, but still stressors and not trauma. I would say that most had pain but it but none would be near enough of, well whatever, to cause PTSD but here they are, screaming they have PTSD from almost (I say almost as the person is still in pain) laughable things.

I exprected BPD and self diagnosed it before clinically diagnosed. I wasnt on any sort of BPD support anything screaming BPD and I didnt even mention it to anyone, just wondered if, until finally diagnosed but to me its obvious.

Anyway, when I got diagnosed with PTSD, I fought that sucker for a long long time. I didnt want it, take that back! Damnit, no, dont want it, dont have it! Now I want to give it back. What in the hell is it with people the trips over a curb coming back up saying "ouch...I have PTSD now"? Like really? I dont want mine! If you want PTSD that bad, please take mine!

What the f*ck is up with that? Whom wants any mental disorder? Its like wanting cancer or something (though, unless you do it yourself, it wont kill you but still). I just dont get it. Someone explain it to me. But then Im asking to be explained stupidity I suppose.

 

[Suzetig]

Someone explain it to me. But then Im asking to be explained stupidity I suppose.

I can't help feeling that's a bit disrespectful, though I'm not sure you intended it that way. There are nany reasons why someone would "want" to have PTSD (or some other mental illness) and I don't think many of them are about intelligence or lack thereof.

Some people just don't understand the condition or the diagnosis criteria, they experience something that feels traumatic to them - infidelity or a relationship breakdown - and they want a reason for why they feel so bad, someone mentions PTSD and it all makes sense to them because they don't know. Others need to know what it is that's wrong with them, may be experiencing normal stress after a trauma and want to know how to make the pain stop or how to heal from something that was traumatic that they're having a normal trauma response to.

Others want to make sense of stuff that they feel that seems way over the top for what's happened and PTSD gives them a framework for that. Others need to be able to affirm themselves that what happened to them was terrible (it's so bad it left me with PTSD).

Yes, some folk might want attention, or to belong to something bigger than themselves, there are always going to be people who use the Internet to deceive others etc but mostly I think people are in pain and want it to stop. A lot of people think experiencing something traumatic = PTSD and don't get how rare a condition it is. Having a diagnosis gives a treatment plan, a way for the pain to stop.

Except with PTSD it's never as simple as that.

 

[joeylittle]

Having a diagnosis gives a treatment plan, a way for the pain to stop.

A PTSD diagnosis also delineates a clear reason for the mental problems - an external reason that can be pointed to. That's much less frightening, to many people, I think - as opposed to 'I'm crying and shaking and having nightmares and I don't know why'.

 

[RussH]

A PTSD diagnosis also delineates a clear reason for the mental problems - an external reason that can be pointed to

This, very much, was the case for me. When I was diagnosed it was a relief, because it gave me an answer to why I was reacting to things. Does this mean I am glad I have it? no. I wish I did not, but knowing what it is, is much better than not knowing.

 

[StellaBlue]

When I was diagnosed it was a relief, because it gave me an answer to why I was reacting to things.

This was very much the case with me; although, in truth, I was diagnosed with PTSD several times by several different doctors but never believed or accepted the diagnosis. Once I was able to absorb the diagnosis, it was a relief as well. All of my "symptoms" made sense within this framework. However, when I experience periods of being symptom-free, I once again question whether or not the diagnosis is accurate. I told my therapist recently that the only time I have PTSD is when I've been triggered.

 

[shimmerz]

Anyway, Ive come across many threads in doing so where some claim to have PTSD for some pretty insignifcant, some signifcant stressors, but still stressors and not trauma.

If I had joined here in 2007 (I had just been diagnosed with PTSD) I most likely would have posted as you are speaking about. Like this actually:

where some claim to have PTSD for some pretty insignifcant, some signifcant stressors, but still stressors and not trauma.

It took me three years to even acknowledge that I had been through something traumatic and then another year to find out that my infancy was riddled with crazy traumatic stuff.

Please keep in mind that it is, for some people, quite a journey even realizing that what they believed to be their 'normal life' was traumatic, abusive, and absolutely messed up. Please be patient as some may e repressing or are sugar coating their experiences. It doesn't mean that trauma was not the mainstay of their existence. They just don't know that yet.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

quite a journey even realizing that what they believed to be their 'normal life' was traumatic, abusive, and absolutely messed up.

Thanks @shimmerz, always a good take and the words that get clogged up in my head to explain.

And some members do not, or are not ready to lay it all out there, not to strangers or even a T. So we share and learn as best we can. It did take years for me to be diagnosed. Not a friggin "Merit Badge." It was an explanation for devastating changes in how I functioned on every level. Untangling what were adult major trauma life threatening events (multiple and close in time) and finding that there was buried childhood trauma.

I don't judge while here. I relate to some, and not so much to others, some you sigh at. But what I have learned is that sometimes what is a 'stressor / trigger' is only the tip of the ice berg, seemingly of no great threat but the person's being is unraveling without knowing why. An explanation that you are not "crazy" is helpful to begin a path for coping and healing. Reaching out for help with just messy aspects of life does not mean someone does not have PTSD. Just that they are having a very hard time with day to day survival.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I can't help feeling that's a bit disrespectful, though I'm not sure you intended it that way.

No, I didnt mean anything to be disrespectful. I had just got done reading: https://www.myptsd.com/threads/is-it-possible-to-have-ptsd-from-being-cheated-on.33302/#post-547027

Where it was clearly explained to begin with, re-explained about the traumas in childhood being a possible reason that it 'broke the camels back', then argued, re-explained etc.

There are many threads like this thus why I posted the thread. I I get people are in pain and want an answer, thats why I said:

as the person is still in pain

And I completely get wanting an answer as I too was releived when I got an answer to my whole lot of symptoms, so all the replies make sense. What I dont understand, however, 1) why is it the first thing people go to for everyrhing (maybe thats because of it being highly known), and 2) why is it argued when so clearly explained, several times by several people? If i heard what I was experiencing wasnt PTSD but maybe all these dozen stress disorders, advised that all last a short or simi-short time but PTSD was lifelong, Id be damned relieved to have all of these 'possibities' with the stress disorder and would not want PTSD (and in reality didnt) as its a life sentense.

There are several threads like this, that was just the last one I had been reading before posting. I get the question (a little bit), but what I dont get is the continious arguing the fact. And there was a childhood trauma so the person could of had it as explained but not for the reason posted. I dont know why, I cant explain why, but it feels a bit invaildating. Someone in the thread stated the 'they dont understand how it feels to get your heart torn out' and after reading it I took my dog out and was thinking "unless they actually tried to cut you open and take your heart out, it wouldnt cause a Crit A trauma" and thats another thing, Crit A was brought up several times pasted straight from the DSM V advinging 'you must meet one of these' (I believe it was one) and yet still argued. Thats why I called it stupidity. Even everyone at the end was joking around because it was just a dumb arguement. Maybe the person didnt want to face the truth that shes not "over" the childhood trauma, I dont know.

I get people are hurting and advised of that but why run directly to PTSD? Id google "stress disorder" or "anxiety disorder" or something of the like. And I did self dignose BPD yrs before I was actually had been clinically diagnosed but I didnt tell anyone "I have BPD", I wondered do I or dont I in my mind, I wast fully convinced but knew I had all but one of the symptom and so it fit but still didnt mention it to anyone including my therapist. He asked "do you know what Borderline Personality Disorder is?" And then onto the dignosis.

I get the pain, I get the relief to finally have an answer for symptoms (though that relief didnt come until actually diagnosed) and

Please keep in mind that it is, for some people, quite a journey even realizing that what they believed to be their 'normal life' was traumatic, abusive, and absolutely messed up. Please be patient as some may e repressing or are sugar coating their experiences. It doesn't mean that trauma was not the mainstay of their existence. They just don't know that yet.

This I also understand. I just dont get 'no, this childhood trauma had no impact and i have PTSD soley and only for being cheated on' and all the ones arguing it, but I do understand that many, including myself 7 years ago, dont want to admit that maybe a childhood trauma or even a repressed or supressed memory could be the cause. I guess it just irritated me a bit with those arguing that being cheated on caused PTSD. And that was just the thread I last read. There are several in the same arena. And I suppose I should look to myself as why I find it so invaildating.

 

[scout86]

And I suppose I should look to myself as why I find it so invaildating.

I think you might be on to something there.

Although, I'm kind of getting to dislike the word "validation:" myself. LOL

There has been a lot of public discussion about PTSD in the past few years. At least some of it isn't of the stereotypical "crazy vet" variety. People are coming to accept it as a "real thing", even if they only THINK they understand it. I think maybe a lot of the people you're talking about, who don't actually have PTSD, are looking for validation of their own pain. What ever it comes from. Something has happened to them that they perceive as "traumatic", and this is where they end up posting. Maybe because this is a pretty positive and supportive place, who knows? (Because it is. I looked at a couple forums before I started to frequent this one. The others were pretty much a bunch of "poor me" whining and I don't have any interest in that.)

It's a little like the torture vs abuse discussion. There are a lot of things that some people experience as being "torture". There's another, more technical definition of "torture" out there there might exclude some of those things, for technical reasons. "Trauma" is the same way. There are things that people perceive as "traumatic" but they aren't, technically, Traumatic. Maybe it's as hard to believe your trauma "doesn't officially count" as it is to believe your apparently normal (to you) childhood was "Traumatic"? (I got some propaganda from the dept of health and human services the other day that said being yelled at was being abused. And they apparently weren't kidding. Isn't yelling normal??? :confused:)

 

[Weemie]

I am glad for my PTSD diagnosis because it provided me with access to life-saving information.

 

[StellaBlue]

I also think there are mental health workers who diagnose PTSD without fully understanding the criteria (I think they may be mistaking PTS and associated symptoms for PTSD). Some folks (and I think the OP in the thread cited by @lostforgottensoul is one of these) may actually have a diagnosis of PTSD from their provider - so who are they going to trust - a bunch of folks on the internet that they've never met, or their real live counselor with any number of letters after his or her name? In addition, there are quite a few websites dedicated to PTSD caused by things that don't fall under Criterion A...infidelity being one of them...

So here you are, experiencing a bunch of pain, a bunch of symptoms (including possibly flashbacks and nightmares), and your doc or therapist tells you that you have PTSD. You go to the internets - and there are a ton of websites confirming this. Then you join this online community where everyone is like...nope, you don't have it...Again, who are you going to trust?

 

[lostforgottensoul]

It's a little like the torture vs abuse discussion. There are a lot of things that some people experience as being "torture". There's another, more technical definition of "torture" out there there might exclude some of those things, for technical reasons.

Indeed. Theres also varies types of torture and varies types of 'holding one against their will'. I go more into that in my diary. For this discussion, I totally get what you are saying.

There are things that people perceive as "traumatic" but they aren't, technically, Traumatic.

Or they may have felt traumatic but when it doesnt fit Crit. A and its posted there and a statement that you must meet one (with what you are claiming as your trauma). I dont know, I guess it just annoys me that PTSD is the 'go to' disorder when there are a dozen stress disorders in the DSM and then the knowledge of those go away eventually, PTSD doesnt...to me its like you have a knee that hurts, you self dignose it and instead of self dignosing as arthrities or something torn and fixable etc, you go straight to MS or something like that. I do not get it.

Although, I'm kind of getting to dislike the word "validation:" myself

Validation is big for me, I think, because of no one beliving me, not only believing the abusers but talking and hanging out with them and now her, and the family has been divorced from her 23 yrs, its not like she is still their family other than my brother.

Its yrs and yrs of "you're lying, they wouldnt do that, you're crazy", yrs of watching them walk out of my life because I refuse to lie and give up the truth, and the only one family member thats left says things like "i cant believe you because i wasnt there...she wasnt like that when I was married to her...just brush it off and go on with your life...[says something about a victim on tv being so brave and i say something about myself] "im not talking about you". He is of no support at all and cant even admit that anything at all happened after he left, talks about the "good 'ol days" and im just "over reacting" and must be "crazy" to have grown up in a "normal" home but have all of these symptoms. And one week he was convinced I was demon possesed. ***eye roll***

And yes, I do understand that we should be vaildating ourselves but how do you do that if you dont see your past as "horrible" or "bad" and to you it was justified because it was done to you. Its impossible, at the moment though working on it, to say to myself "what you went through was horrific and should have never happened as you didnt deserve it"...or I can say that but I dont believe it. It seems that the more other people say it, I believe it just a little more cause all of these people cant possibly be wrong, right?

My therapist, obviously, validates my past but if its just him, well he's just one person over 100 people saying the opposite, and he's paid to say that (or as says my brain).

So thats the simi-short-longish (could be a book to be honest) verison of why I think I need vaildation and am sensititve to something that makes me feel invaildated. Which would have to do with me. At least I think. I could be wrong obviously lol.