Why Do People Want To Wear Ptsd As A Merit Badge?

[lostforgottensoul]

I also think there are mental health workers who diagnose PTSD without fully understanding the criteria (I think they may be mistaking PTS and associated symptoms for PTSD). Some folks (and I think the OP in the thread cited by @lostforgottensoul is one of these) may actually have a diagnosis of PTSD from their provider

She self diagnosed in the thread I cited, she had never seen a doctor of any kind.

Towards the end of the first post of the thread I cited "I finally told a close friend about how bad it's gotten and she suggested that it might be PTSD. "

So here you are, experiencing a bunch of pain, a bunch of symptoms (including possibly flashbacks and nightmares), and your doc or therapist tells you that you have PTSD. You go to the internets - and there are a ton of websites confirming this. Then you join this online community where everyone is like...nope, you don't have it...Again, who are you going to trust?

Except thats not how it happened per the OP and the thread title is a question. Per the OP, she starting have anxiety like symptoms (likely just anxiety or one of the dozens stress disorders in the DSM V) but a friend suggested PTSD so thats what she went with. She got a 'bug in her ear" about it but never let it go.

And she could have PTSD from childhood molestation that she later advised but not from being cheated on, and she states that she "got over" the molestation and that it was fully being cheated on though Anthony advised it could have been just the icing on the cake but refused to see it that way and in come a ton of others "explaining" how one can get PTSD from being cheated on and/or broken up with.

@lightraze im glad I know what I have now (fought it for a while before accepting it) but you didnt get it from being cheated on or the million other non-Traumatic (big T) ways that one self diagnoses PTSD.

Now that I think about it, It may be bothering me so much due to my dad admittingly tried to lie and say he had it to the VA to try to get 100% disabilty and he invaildates me at every turn and refuses to try to understand it or support me in any way or admit to any sort of wrong doing in my childhood.

Hmm, something to think about.

 

[StellaBlue]

Except thats not how it happened...

My apologies - there have been a number of "I got PTSD after I was cheated on" threads; I didn't go back and read this one fully. I think you're absolutely on track with examining why a 3 year old thread started by a Guest bothers you so much.

And I really can empathize with much of what you're saying in terms of the invalidation of PTSD...I almost smacked someone last year when he jokingly said that some silly thing was triggering his PTSD (hahahaha - not).

 

[Sideways]

There's been times where I've read an intro and thought "You reckon you got PTSD from that...???" Wtf?

You know what? I ignore the thread, I change channels back to stuff I can relate to.

It's important to me that I do that. Whatever the reason that person has for being on this site, that's not my problem. Not being able to relate to them? Not my problem. There's 7 billion odd people on this planet so not being able to relate to someone and where they're coming from and how they're feeling and how they experience the world- makes sense.

But most importantly, their experience is their experience. If I'm feeling invalidated by that, because of x, y or z, I need to let that go. Not everyone with ptsd has been through traum like mine, and I'm not the gatekeeper that determines what a person is suffering from and how they're suffering and whether it fits the criteria. I can't possibly know their real story through the screen that I'm looking at. Some people have ptsd from stuff that doesn't seem so damn huge to me, but that's my issue. Maybe some of my junk doesn't seem like a big deal to them.

And at the end of the day, me letting myself start casting judgments about that isn't helpful for either of us. Me getting myself upset about why a person has come to this forum isn't helpful to me.

So I change channels, because there's plenty of other stuff here that I can relate to, and that is helpful for me:)

 

[scout86]

Validation is important, don't get me wrong. What I get tired of is the thought that any time someone disagrees with you they are "invalidating" you. If I'm wrong, which I often am, it doesn't help me to have that validated. That's not something you do, @lostforgottensoul, it's just something that bugs me. :)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I think you're absolutely on track with examining why a 3 year old thread started by a Guest bothers you so much.

It wasnt so much a 3 yr old thread; it is the constant 'I have PTSD over [any normal life stressor]' and obviously there could be an underlining old supresses trauma but it seems to be a go to for self diagnosing and thats bothering me but I think I what the 'why' as to my dad addmiting that he went to the VA to pretend he has PTSD; a disorder I have, I bought a thick sourcebook that helps the sufferer and supporter ans he hasnt bothered to pick it up, he is so invaildating and he is the "just get over it" kind of person and he also played a role in my trauma.

So I think, maybe, thats why its bothering me so much but i think people should stop screaming "OMG I have PTSD" on every turn.

Thanks @Ragdoll Circus for wipping into shape there and reminding me of whats important!

And @scout86 if I do do that, let me know even if its privately cause certianly Im ok with folks disagreeing with me, we all have opinions.

Its just my junk, i think, sort of overflowing onto the site so i appologize if ive upset anyone with this thread.

At least, I think, ive figured out what it is thats causing it. I think anyway.

 

[joeylittle]

...I don't see this happening:

...people should stop screaming "OMG I have PTSD" on every turn...

. I'm familiar with the thread you cited. It got closed because it became a magnet for a minority number of posters who claim PTSD from infidelity.

I agree with you 100% that what's probably bugging you is a combination of the torture thread being stressful and your unresolved anger at your father over his non-recognition of your PTSD and simultaneous claiming of his own. That last part all by itself would be enough to make anyone's head spin, probably.

I'd encourage you to practice less distorted language, though.

If the site were inundated hourly with people bragging about having PTSD from a stubbed toe, it would be deeply frustrating. Every time we allow cognitive distortion to overtake our perception of reality, we experience that same frustration - except, there's no need for it, because it isn't really happening the way we are perceiving it.

So, you aren't training your mind very well to perceive reality if your way of describing things is regularily exaggerated/catastrophized.

Just food for thought.

 

[Tinyflame]

@lostforgottensoul , anything that leads to more wisdom is good.

I can only say, & humbly because it's just my non-relevant HO, as @Changeling said

Not a friggin "Merit Badge." It was an explanation for devastating changes in how I functioned on every level. Untangling what were adult major trauma life threatening events (multiple and close in time) and finding that there was buried childhood trauma.

This is closer to my experience. Except that the diagnosis was originally not shared with me, then when I learned later not believed by me, then ignored by me, then minimized by me, then embraced by me in relief that maybe not only was there n 'explanation'- but now I could 'cure' it..;) I've even gone through multiple stages of I can't be 'worthy' of it, because I'm not a veteran. and anything I've survived = 'zero', because I'm still 'here'.

I get people are in pain and want an answer,

I never knew there was question, for myself. Decades of suffering becomes accepted as normal= I'm 'crazy'= no one else feels/ acts/ thinks/ reacts this way. (And gee, cbt alone doesn't work, anti-depression techniques don't cover it, anti-anxiety well, that falls so short. And on it goes. Lots of avoidance. Lots of maladaptive coping. ETA, loss of career, relationships, suicide attempts, all the goodies always, night sweats, insomnia, night terrors, body memories, FB's. Etc. At lest now they have a name. )

This I also understand. I just dont get 'no, this childhood trauma had no impact and i have PTSD soley and only for being cheated on' and all the ones arguing it, but I do understand that many, including myself 7 years ago, dont want to admit that maybe a childhood trauma or even a repressed or supressed memory could be the cause. I guess it just irritated me a bit with those arguing that being cheated on caused PTSD. And that was just the thread I last read. There are several in the same arena. And I suppose I should look to myself as why I find it so invaildating.

.
I didn't believe if I lived anything is traumatic. Until today (only today), when it occurred to me the only memories I have as a child were when I 'triumphed', not the feelings/ fear when a 'little person' couldn't be an adult on their own. Today I realized I probably often felt (then) as all children do when they are so small.

People are extremely complex. They're learning about ptsd (in professional circles) more & more every day. My experiences have always been, the worst the traumas the less, & longer, people take to (indeed, if ever) tell anyone. Best (for me) to know I know nothing & have a steep learning curve.

I am glad for my PTSD diagnosis because it provided me with access to life-saving information.

Exactly ^^^. Me too.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Just food for thought.

Well that was some good food! ;)

This:

what's probably bugging you is a combination of the torture thread being stressful and your unresolved anger at your father over his non-recognition of your PTSD and simultaneous claiming of his own. That last part all by itself would be enough to make anyone's head spin, probably.

Is likely correct. It seems now that ive started to research rather than watch the torture thread, its not as bad. But i do need to learn to watch for possible oncoming triggers, stressors that might explode into triggers and triggers that might explode into something it shouldnt.

Yes and def my dad by himself is a HUGE thing. He now walks around the house talking about he cant take the dog out because he has PTSD............... :cautious::shifty:

exaggerated/catastrophized.

A cognitive distortion if im remembering the list right. Im not good at applying thoughts to that yet so hey, if anything, this thread helps in that way! :)

 

[ghotiff]

It seems that the more other people say it, I believe it just a little more cause all of these people cant possibly be wrong, right?

I think I understand .... I could be wrong, but if I'm right it might help...
You are still accepting your traumas, how "bad" they were and how they should not have happened. Because you are in that headspace you read threads of people with similar traumas and this validates you, helps you see your traumas as "bad".
But, if you read threads of "stubbed-toe-trauma" you get the opposite of validation. You start to question your traumas again. You know a stubbed toe is not a trauma but this person thinks it is...so your brain then says maybe I'm over reacting also and my traumas are not really trauma.

I have read enough of your posts to know that your traumas were definitely traumas and they were horrific. It was totally unfair, you did not deserve it. What happened to you should never have happened to you, it should never have happen to anyone.

 

[shimmerz]

but you didnt get it from being cheated on

My only concern with this is that there is a 'betrayal trauma' aspect to trauma. Could it be that she was rekindled with the betrayal? I agree that she should have been seen by a doctor, but jeeez, here in Canada it can take years to get a proper diagnosis. What then? Bury ones head in the sand because a doctor hasn't confirmed it?

 

[Sideways]

Well hell, stubbed toe? Thing is, it's on screen. And knowing that 8 years ago I would've laughed at the idea that I had ptsd from csa, I can picture it...

New member posts that they stubbed their toe. Lots of blood. I've now got ptsd and feeling suicidal. Please help.

Maybe, for a tonne of reasons (denial, fear of their attacker, traumatic amnesia) the story that we aren't getting, and won't get even if we poke and prod, is that New Member stubbed their toe trying to leave their apartment. First time they've tried to leave their apartment in 15 years and stubbed toe + lots of blood brought on a panic attack, and they're back locked in their apartment feeling hopeless & very suicidal.

Ok; hypochondria and serious anxiety issues. Still no ptsd.

Except that New Member hasn't left their apartment in 15 years because the last time they left their apartment they were raped at gunpoint, doused in petrol and set on fire.

Whoa! New Member - you have SERIOUS ptsd problems. Are you in therapy??

You just don't know through the screen. Ok, sometimes you know it's whack. But mostly, you don't know. How could you? If it's denial or traumatic amnesia causing them to only fixate on the stubbed toe, or fear of their attacker so that they refuse to go public with the full story, how could you know? That stuff can take years to come out with a qualified therapist - no reason it would be instant here.

All we know is the stubbed toe, and something has brought them to this forum as a result. But if I read New Member's inital 'stubbed toe' story and conclude that's completely bogus, it's better for both me and New Member if I keep it to myself, and move on to a different thread rather than tell New Member that their stubbed toe isn't worth anything more than a bandaid.

You never get the full story on this forum. All you're getting is small pieces that the person is willing and able to share.

 

[ghotiff]

I also think that non genuine trauma people (no trauma in existence) will get bored on this site. After a while they will leave as they just wont feel the "fit" and being here won't be helping.