Venting Room

[Kunoichi]

Here is my vent!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh

My family...my uncle mainly who is supposed to be so supportive and support me in my decisions and faith adn says how he loves me....he blames me for you abuse...further to the insult he equates it to a "bump on the head" and even further says that God is allowing it because I didn't listen to my family........WTF!!!!!!!! (he is wrong on all parts ...I am glad that God isn't like that....its just somethign my uncle has in his head for some reason)

it hurts..its sad

Also at work I have a guy who doesn't work, is protected by the "higher ups" and it doesn't matter what he does (even if he competely goes on "break" for 2 hours!!! He never gets fired...he is "protected") AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

thanks for the vent :)

 

[Mahtalat]

I'm just now reading this particular vent. I was coming online to write in the Vent posts: "I don't care anymore." When I read this. I hate your family too (but that's really nothing new). I hate that they're slow, and they don't understand what unconditional love means. I hate them for making it so that we no longer have so much time together. I hate my Math Teacher for giving us 3 days to learn complex policies knowing we need her class to graduate. I hate her for being unapproachable with her glare, and her 'I don't care' looks and exasperated sighs. Why be a teacher if you don't care! I hate Walmart's moneycard despite the 'hidden' benefits. I hate this world with all its global and international systems. I hate the control the government has. I hate everything it does. I Hate how they control a nation through money and permanent debt. I hate all the internal and external wars...I'd rather live in an indifferent an uninspiring world. I hate when my Math Teacher says 'you should understand this by now, it's easy'. I hate that suicide hotlines SUCK. I hate their email system just as well. I hate that I can cry all I want...no one will ever be there. I hate that my Breo line is dead...I love when Yeresh plays with me. I hate that Jordan is missing, and Sage is dead. I hate that I'll never be good enough. I hate smiling when I feel like Shit. I hate my grandfather's sick. I hate that I'm a burden to everyone, to EVERYONE. I hate when people say 'you always cry'...when I don't. I hate when people say 'you always need me'. When I don't. I hate finding solutions every time and having someone take a hammer and smash what works and says 'try again'. I HATE being patient. I HATE the waiting rooms. I Hate my sister for being lost. I Hate that everything is my fault. I Hate that I was born. I hate that my mother didn't abort me like she she wanted. I Hate that I exist. I hate that I want to live. I hate that I can't just disappear just for a moment in time. I hate that I can vent all I want...but it won't change a damn thing. I hate everything today.

I hate my family for not understanding.

I hate my family for not understanding myflashbacks that I need to talk to Mahi not before midnight not after 9am IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT because that is when I have my flashbacks and that is when she gets depressed and that is when we need each other most I wish my family would just understand that! God! UGH! I hate them so much right now! I hate them I hate them I hate feeling so alone in this household! I love you Mahi and I just want to be able to heal with you and healing doesn't happen from 9 to midnight healing happens at 2am at 3am and that's when we need to talk on the phone! God. I hate my family right now. **** them they're little pieces of shit I could ****ing punch them in the face right now!

Okay sorry about that...

 

[Nicolette]

I'm not really sure what is going on her but it is seeming like a personal argument. Please keep the thread on topic thanks

 

[Mahtalat]

My Last Vent: I'm extremely tired.

 

[Larry]

Do what I do, I meet with a friend and put brazilian jiu jitsu on him for an hour straight. He gets to learn it the hard way and I get to vent. There must be at least a hundred submissions on this guy and he loves it. God Bless him. I still wake up 5 times a night rolling out of bed with hellish nightmares, but its a good vent during the day. I worked as a cop for a while and that was great therapy for my anger, I was very nice to everyone but I did get to arrest bad guys and break up domestics, saw death and shootings but it seemed to make my dreams less intense, strange huh? Maybe I was deluting the old memories with so much filth that it churned all together like a blender and gave me breaks. I was desperate to find some type of solution. At any rate getting to save peoples lives by taking guns and knives away from people that were trying to kill themselves or someone else made me feel better for a while. My goal was to "never" hurt anyone and to save everyone, so far I am 100%. My trouble started after being shot in 1996 which set all my past experiences into full motion. Suffering from paralysis in my leg and constant pain, lost arteries (foot and femoral replaced). I have not gone through the ritual of cleaning my gun and loading it for me in a few months, but wish that I could get some help from a counselor. I never got any counseling or physical rehab at all (no money). If anyone is feeling worse by reading this, I am sorry. Guess it could be worse. Try to live more in the now right? Stay busy? Talk about it? ?Find outlets for anger? I don't know if any of this is doing me any good at all, but I try. Thinking about the kids, grand children, people that I have helped seems to help some. There is one thing that definitely helps me cope and thats a good massage by a therepist that knows what she is doing, try it.

 

[Shamstalat]

I'm not really sure what is going on her but it is seeming like a personal argument. Please keep the thread on topic thanks

Sorry about that. Back on topic.

 

[Shamstalat]

I'm pissed off how many places don't have braille. What's the big deal. It costs like six dollars to make a braille sign. I'm so elated when I do come across some braille but I shouldn't be. That should be the norm. I wish places in general were more blind-friendly. And on signs that are brailled, I wish not only room numbers were brailled but what the room actually is. As in "Math department" or "classroom." Gah. They always only have room 302B or whatever. 302B what? Is it an amphitheater? Is it a classroom? Sorry I just get so pissed off sometimes how hard it is to get around just because a building doesn't mean the ADA (American Disabilities Act). I wish building owers actually FOLLOWED the ADA.

 

[cragger65]

Larry, sounds like you've got some great coping skills, as well as a great attitude. I'm still impressed on a regular basis the calibre of people I am meeting here. Great to see you post.

 

[jeapea]

I am beyond hating. I'm just so tired. I grieve.

 

[2notbedefeated]

Frustated with my mothers' helper who did not do her job last night, then she gets angry with me because of her failure to follow through with helping my son get his homework done.

I am tired of telling her over and over how to handle him. I told her he could do nothing and to go to his room until he apologized to her. She however was freaking out because his homework was not done by the time expected of her. Evidently she didn't find that acceptable, but she was on the phone most of the afternoon instead checking on my son son several times to make sure he was on task and doing his homework.

She gets angry and leaves, she walk out of the house and drives away and does not come back until 45 minutes later. This is not acceptable because she was still suppose to be working!X!!!

I told her before all that happened that we were all under great stress and to give each other breathing room and to hang in there to the end of the week. That will be her last day to work and then my family is moving in 3 days, so can't she does roll with the punches her and not press issues when there is only 3 days left for her to work with us? Why get everyone all upset when these issues will no longer be relevant to her working with the kids?

I was and still am upset with her. I always intiate conflict resolution with her when we get into spats, but she never intiates them herself. Ugh, I need to know if she cares enough about our friendship to come and say she's sorry. i will say I am sorry if I was alittle testy with, but I'm tired on always taking the intiative in these things.

So that's it for now.

 

[Bronzestar04]

Tired and ready to throw in the towel

Hello,

This is my first time writing. I hope this is the best place to be. My husband came home two months ago. He was deployed to Iraq. He was dignosed with PSTD. He is seeking help - because of my nagging, so he said. He is seeing his VA therapist once a week. Last night, I really lost it. He also started working his civilian job. Since he works in NYC, he drives in to PA. Because of his hours, there are days that he will stay at his mom's if he has to report to work early. Crazy schedule.

Well, last night I try to be patient. I try to make our conversation civil. He called telling me that he was 40mins from home. I always ask how was your day just to start a conversation and what did he eat for lunch etc. Well, he said my last meal was at 5pm. I then started dinner; by the time he came home, dinner was done. Well, I have not seen him for about two days. I mean, the least you can do is give me a hello kiss. Well, of course not. That alone pissed me off. I served his dinner, called him a jerk, and walked out in tears for about an hour at 12am in the morning. Came home an hour later and slept in the guest room. I am so fed up. There are times like today that I want out. Just venting everyone. :dontknow:. Hope to hear from someone. If there is anyone in the PA area that we can have lunch or coffee, please let me know. I have only been up in PA for four months.

Bronzestar04 Wife.

 

[patrick]

Bronze,

I don't know what to say for sure. I live clear across the country, so coffee wouldn't work that well. It is tough being with someone with PTSD. Just curious about how things were between you before he left for Iraq, and how much he has changed since then. Is there a past worth saving? Was there something worth taking some effort to keep before he left? There is an awful lot of information on this forum about being in a relationship with someone with PTSD. If you want to save your marriage, there is some support out there, even in the VA. The VA center in my town has groups for spouses of vets with PTSD, for instance. None of it is easy. Has to be worth it, I think.

Good luck to you and your husband.

Pat