UnKnown-Self
Diamond Member
SEX: I see high libido vs low libido. Compromise. Love. Intimacy. Gifts we give. Self pleasuring. Age factors. Expectations met or unmet. Duty (take one for the team) or (you have an obligation).
Yet for me personally, I can't shake the power and control aspect. Admittedly on both sides.
There is also body image and self esteem. A woman knows when her appearance is sliding. It could be depression. It could be the children factor and she is just too friggin tired.
My children's father, would mention, my lack of self care, yet he had no concept of how much time effort and money went into looking a certain way. Things the kids needed came first. That he made negative comments on how I gained weight did not inspire me to want to feel is touch. I went to bed feeling fat and ugly and those comments lay between us in the bedroom. That I should "compromise" to meet " his needs" made me feel like a urinal. He was still self pleasuring only he was using my body to do it.
Sex and intimacy are two very different things. Intimacy doesn't even have to involve sex of course and when it does and is an act of intimate love, both, one or neither can reach an orgasm and it is okay.
But sexual needs and desires for the intent of reaching a point of satisfaction for both parties unusually requires a degree of work. Work that expected more of a woman than a man. It's called a job because because it takes energy, some skill, concentration and putting one's self pleasure aside at that time. Maybe some chicks say they enjoy it, maybe it's a power trip. Maybe it's bullshit. Ha!
If a man orgasms before a woman or if she has a few more orgasms waiting and willing to be coaxed out, how many men once sated will get out the toys and put forth the effort to make sure a woman gets all she wants sexually from the interaction. Most men are too tired, they reached their goal and now they are ready to go o sleep and if a woman got out the toys herself to complete her level of sexual satisfaction would offend their partners ego. So they don't and they are left unsatisfied.
Women and men orgasm differently. Men get that one pow and maybe once they've rested are ready for another round. Women admittedly not all, but I'm willing to bet more are simply not aware that they orgasm. it a series of higher and higher intensities and can run out of energy before orgasms but that running out of energy can take a long time if a man is willing to put forth the effort and be encouraging. That kind of release for a woman can leave her feeling spent and jelly legged. Yet it is that level of intensity and release that makes her want to participate more often. Knowing you are going to be left hanging time and time again inspires "low libido" because expectations are low.
The sad part, is most women don't even realize this themselves.
Yet for me personally, I can't shake the power and control aspect. Admittedly on both sides.
There is also body image and self esteem. A woman knows when her appearance is sliding. It could be depression. It could be the children factor and she is just too friggin tired.
My children's father, would mention, my lack of self care, yet he had no concept of how much time effort and money went into looking a certain way. Things the kids needed came first. That he made negative comments on how I gained weight did not inspire me to want to feel is touch. I went to bed feeling fat and ugly and those comments lay between us in the bedroom. That I should "compromise" to meet " his needs" made me feel like a urinal. He was still self pleasuring only he was using my body to do it.
Sex and intimacy are two very different things. Intimacy doesn't even have to involve sex of course and when it does and is an act of intimate love, both, one or neither can reach an orgasm and it is okay.
But sexual needs and desires for the intent of reaching a point of satisfaction for both parties unusually requires a degree of work. Work that expected more of a woman than a man. It's called a job because because it takes energy, some skill, concentration and putting one's self pleasure aside at that time. Maybe some chicks say they enjoy it, maybe it's a power trip. Maybe it's bullshit. Ha!
If a man orgasms before a woman or if she has a few more orgasms waiting and willing to be coaxed out, how many men once sated will get out the toys and put forth the effort to make sure a woman gets all she wants sexually from the interaction. Most men are too tired, they reached their goal and now they are ready to go o sleep and if a woman got out the toys herself to complete her level of sexual satisfaction would offend their partners ego. So they don't and they are left unsatisfied.
Women and men orgasm differently. Men get that one pow and maybe once they've rested are ready for another round. Women admittedly not all, but I'm willing to bet more are simply not aware that they orgasm. it a series of higher and higher intensities and can run out of energy before orgasms but that running out of energy can take a long time if a man is willing to put forth the effort and be encouraging. That kind of release for a woman can leave her feeling spent and jelly legged. Yet it is that level of intensity and release that makes her want to participate more often. Knowing you are going to be left hanging time and time again inspires "low libido" because expectations are low.
The sad part, is most women don't even realize this themselves.
