Guilt Versus Truth

[StellaBlue]

When I was at probably my rock bottom in terms of suicidal ideation/intent/attempts, my therapist "used" guilt to try to keep me alive. Basically, he pulled the "kid" card - and was very much upfront about it - told me that I would damage them for life if I committed suicide (and he also told me he would use any method he had to keep me alive).

I am in a much better place now but had a recurrence of the suicide ideation and we had a very different conversation. He told me that we both knew about the "guilt" aspect - but he wanted me to know the "truth" aspect...that the truth is suicide is not just about the person who commits suicide - it's about everyone else around them...it's about the generations down the road....it's about the friends and family who are affected.

I am blessed that I am in a very different place with this episode of ideation, in that I can see the effect it would have on my children, my family, my friends - but also that I can see his distinction between using guilt and using the truth.

Does this make sense?

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes @StellaBlue , it does to me.

There can be guilt from the truth too.

I think the flipside is the truth of the absence of connection too (just thinking out loud here). Sometimes the truth is reinforcing, possibly other times not?

I'm glad you're able to feel a bit better. :hug:

 

[Friday]

Does this make sense?

Very much so.

 

[Tinyflame]

I suppose without beating one's self to death (no pun intended), it's like saying this is the truth, & therefore is there a better way? (Than choosing that?)

Not feeling simply feeling 'guilted' but not belieiving, but rather being able to see the truth of the potential impact because the person believes they are loved, needed, wanted, have value.

 

[UniqueSunflower]

It sounds like your therapist was able to help you see outside of yourself. When we're in that space of wanting to take our life, it's as though in that moment(s), nothing else matters. Did they attempt to help you see this rationale when you were suicidal or were you in a different mental space where you could gain more open perspective?

 

[StellaBlue]

Did they attempt to help you see this rationale when you were suicidal or were you in a different mental space where you could gain more open perspective?

At the time of the original "guilting", I was not in a place where I could really be see the larger picture, but the guilt did help keep me alive. It's interesting to me, because both views are true (or maybe even the same), they just feel so very different - and I suppose a lot has to do with the healing that's been occurring.