DID Did, denial and engaging in trauma therapy

[Sarahlou611]

Hi. I'm new to all of this, by that I mean the whole online forum etc.

I'm currently undergoing treatment within a specialist Trauma service. It's taken me years to get to the point of accepting that the trauma happened. For a number of years now (10+) I've had a diagnosis of DID, it's taken a lot for me to accept it.

Currently working with a therapist who specialises in trauma but not DID, it's hard going and I'm really struggling to accept that any of this is real. Keep trying to engage in therapy but the fear is so high that the main urge is to stop.

In therapy last week, someone said that we'd made it up and that it wasn't really and we didn't have 'insiders'.. therapist responded by asking who "we" meant... kind of hit home and scared and unsettled everyone!

As a system we are trying really hard to cope, it's just terrifying and we feel quite alone (even though we have each other) we were looking for some external connections with people who might understand.

 

[EveHarrington]

HI Sarah! Welcome! I don't have DID myself but I know you'll be able to find others here who do. I just wanted to take the chance to welcome you to the forum. :hug:

 

[Sarahlou611]

Thanks

 

[Bluepopsicle]

Hi I've been in and out of denial and would like to have friend who understand aswell. Feel free to message me anytime.

 

[Sideways]

Just wanted to say Hey and yeah, I worked with a pdoc for years who did trauma okay, but didn't "believe in" DID. It made it really hard, and I'm glad that my current T is a believer. But for what it's worth, those years with the first guy weren't wasted. I needed more, but I learned a lot and grew a lot.

You can't make this sh!t up. You just can't. Trust yourself, and accept that there are always going to be people that will just never get it, and that's okay, you can keep healing without everyone in the room believing you. At the end of the day, the opinion of most of those people just doesn't matter - you're the one living it, and you're the one healing from it.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

There are a lot of people who understand DID here, myself included. I have not been diagnosed but I do appear to have alters, and I understand the loneliness.

Have you tried this website Dissociation help, support and training from PODS ? It is quite helpful. I hope this site helps you too.

 

[watundah]

New to the DID gig, also. Welcome. You have many friends here.

 

[Sarahlou611]

There are a lot of people who understand DID here, myself included. I have not been diagnosed but I do appe...

PODS is a really good starting point. Thanks for the reply

 

[Sarahlou611]

Just wanted to say Hey and yeah, I worked with a pdoc for years who did trauma okay, but didn't...

New T is a believer, as are all of the staff that work in the unit... I guess it's just me who struggles to believe that *I* have DID.

 

[Sideways]

If it helps, I know, fact, I have DID.

There are still times I refuse to believe that. Can't be. I must be malingering.

Check your denial Ragdoll - you've got DID. Fact.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

I've been dancing around diagnosis for some time. I don't know if it's DID or just DDNOS. But either way, the denial is thick.

You're not alone, and I'm not speaking about headmates, but about the community here.

 

[Bluepopsicle]

I find it silly that therapists doesn't Believe in DID? It's not Jesus or God, it's creative coping mechanism. So practically if they see someone switching in front of their eyes do they think " Wow ,this person is a really good actor" or what they think?