Relationship Having A Panic Attack

[Endure]

I don't know how long I can do this. I just want him or someone to tell me to forget him and move on. I know I shouldn't, but I watch his Facebook activity to try and find answers and feel an attachment to him. I get completely freaked out when I see him "like" a woman's cover picture on Facebook! So many thoughts go through my mind....he's interested in her...he's communicating with her now (from overseas) and that's why he ignores me...he's acting normal but can't seem to respond to me positively or negatively! I know it could be completely innocent, but in my mind if a guy "likes" a girl's pic he has the hots for her, or wants her to notice him. He never "liked" any of my pics or posts, yet he expected me to send him pictures everyday while he was overseas! All I want is for him to give me a response like he gives her!

I try and re-read his loving messages to me before the "break" to stay positive. I go back and read the posts on here to give me hope. I try to remember I can't expect the same reaction from him like I would a "normal" guy. Normally I would think ignoring and no response is a response, but to someone with PTSD, it could mean something else. At what point do I accept he's gone forever? When do you move on and decide to look for someone else because you don't know if he's ever coming back? Is interacting on here giving me a false sense of hope?

Do any of you go through this and how do you keep the panic attacks under control? I'm really starting to think I need to go back on my anxiety meds!

 

[Casey_03]

At what point do I accept he's gone forever? When do you move on and decide to look for someone else because you don't know if he's ever coming back? Is interacting on here giving me a false sense of hope?

If you're at the point where you're having panic attacks over stuff on Facebook, now would be a good time to, at the very least, take a step back from him. Because it seems like this is all deeply unhealthy for you. PTSD is one thing, but if the relationship is going to be strong, then you have to be okay with the distance (and ideally, he should contribute to helping you feel more okay with it), and it sounds like you're not. I don't know about your background with this guy, but just from reading this post alone, it seems really unhealthy.

 

[Endure]

If you're at the point where you're having panic attacks over stuff on Facebook, now would be a good t...

Our background is we had an argument and he cut off communication 7 weeks ago. He was symptomatic at the time and suffering a great deal of stress. He wasn't able to work through the argument with me. He didn't technically end the relationship. He left me in limbo with "I don't know at this point". So I'm left with figuring out if he still doesn't know, or I'm suppose to assume the silence means he's decided he's done.

 

[Endure]

Wow. So I just read the anonymous section and I think a light bulb has gone off for me. Why didn't I see that section before?! How can I get upset at him for such a little thing like Facebook when his struggles are so much bigger!!

He did try his best to communicate with me through the attacks. I'm amazed he did as well as he did. My only wish was he had asked me to search more on my own. Maybe he was too afraid to tell me in such a new relationship. God I hope he comes back now!

 

[EveHarrington]

Deactivate Facebook.

IMHO you're manufacturing your own anxiety.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I look things this way with my sufferer, who at times needs some isolation to function;

1. A relationship requires two participants. No matter how much I love him, I can't make things work by myself. He has to put some effort in. If he's too symptomatic to have that much respect for me, he's too symptomatic to be in a relationship.

2. He needs to have the basic human decency to let me know he needs space and/or keep me in the loop. I'm not sitting around wondering if I've been dumped. I'm not sitting around worrying that he is dead in a ditch. If he blocks my number, he better lose it. Likewise for blocking me on social media. He has to be present in the relationship, even if he's taking some space.

3. If he ever says the relationship is over or he can't handle it, I'd believe him. He's not psychotic. He's not mentally addled. He can still make the decision to break up with me, even if he has PTSD. He has never said that to me so far, but he very well could, and I'd have to respect that.

4. Needing space for a few days is one thing... But if he buggers off for weeks, then I'm not sitting around with my life on hold. It comes back down to respect and being healthy enough to participate in a relationship. You don't treat people you love like that.

Is it romantic? No. Do I love him with everything I have? I sure do. But fairy tales aren't real. Sacrificing yourself (universal you, as in all of us) for love or pining away for ages doesn't make you a martyr. He isn't going to snap his fingers and say "damn, I was so wrong. She's my one true love because she gave up everything for me." The only thing it will do is make you miserable and codependent. Love your partner and yourself enough to make your relationship healthy. If you love somebody, being in a toxic unhealthy situation isn't being very loving towards them.

 

[Endure]

I look things this way with my sufferer, who at times needs some isolation to function;

1. A relati...

I wish I had read this back in the beginning. I know I did everything I could and fought as hard as I could. After his first anxiety attack when I let him come back, he told me he was going to make up for everything he put me through. He said he was going to spend as much time with me as he could while he was home. He said "stop looking. I will be there for you". He said he would fight for us. He knows there were several men wanting to date me. They were messaging me the entire time we were together and even in the middle of the night. I would get on the phone in front of him and tell them I was laying there with my boyfriend and to stop messaging me. He knew I chose him over all of them.

He gave up. I give up.