I'm Terrified Of Going To Sleep

[LaceySA]

That numb feeling when it happens makes me almost... Manic And Irrational.... I feel almost.. Almost...

I can't relate exactly to that experience, but I do remember feeling invincible after the abuse. Thinking that if that didn't destroy me, nothing would. Only, it did destroy me. I hurt myself in a lot of ways. I wanted to hurt. I thought to myself , "What difference does it make? So what if I get hurt? At least I'll feel something other than alone and afraid." Thoughts like that.

I've gotten in the car with drunks. Done drugs with strangers and gotten so messed up I couldn't remember who the strangers were. One time I passed out in an alley after getting trashed at a bar by myself with some guy I met at the bar that had just gotten out of prison that day. I couldn't remember anything when I woke up at home the next afternoon. This was a long time ago. I don't have a lot of self destructive urges anymore.

 

[LaceySA]

For what it's worth, I'm considered 'attractive' and have never had problems getting a date, but I'm...

That's funny. The statue part.

 

[Pixielicious]

I

I can't relate exactly to that experience, but I do remember feeling invincible after the abuse. Thinki...

I Remember seeing a film many many moons ago in my youth, a guy survives a plane crash and is the only survivor, he was diagnosed with PTSD, this was the first time I'd ever heard this word, and he became 'manic' thinking he was invincible because he survived the plane crash. He did all sorts of crazy things to test to see if he was and survived it all. Ever since he was a kid, he'd been dangerously allergic to strawberries.... And He hadn't touched any since a child.... And Yup... He munched on a strawberry and went into anaphylaxis shock and died. I only now just remembered the film....