C-ptsd And Feeling Like People Hate You

[heyheyhey]

Does anyone else feel so doomy and depressed if someone says something which is slightly sarcastic or rude? I always start feeling like the whole world hates me, if someone is cold or distant or if someone says something sarcastic. It gets me really down and I find it really hard to deal with. I'm not sure how to deal with this? Does anyone else feel this way? I'm trying to battle against it with some CBT techniques...and I guess i need to avoid anyone who acts in this way or is rude in someway, but sometimes it feels like so many people are this way (though i suppose that is a depression/low-self-esteem distortion).

Any advice guys! It's getting me down today! Thanks everyone :)

 

[Silver.]

I've always considered myself soft hearted. I get my feelings very easily hurt.
I know a lot of it is because I don't always see things from more than one perspective, and so I can see things the wrong way, and get upset when I shouldn't be. It is hard to blow things off that other people might, isn't it?
I wish I had some good advice for you, I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone (and hey, maybe someone else will have some good advice that can help us both) *hugs*

 

[Friday]

The question for me... Is whether or not I care that people hate me? I usually don't. Not unless it's someone I love, admire, or respect. Then I care if I'm hated. Usually.

No distortion, for at least half of my adult life, at least half of the people in my vicinity have hated me, and sometimes more. Sometimes a lot more. For me that's situation normal. Just as a byproduct of my job, and being a woman in my job. Even before we get down to my charming personality.

It trips me out when all of a sudden I care. It's just like WTFO? Where the hell did this come from??? Go. Away. Since when have you cared about being hated? If you wanted to be liked by strangers you'd have become a veterinarian, or a firefighter. f*ck off. Shudder. Still happens. Still seriously weirds me out. It's just like my priorities and discretion have gone all sideways. Everyone hates you. So the f*ck what? How is this any different than normal? Find a better everyone, and until then, suck it up.

It has absolutely nothing to do with what's going on around me, and has everything to do with what's going on in my head.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I used to be that way way more that what you posted. It would drive me batty. I couldn't stand it if people were insulting. Now, I don't give a rats ass what they think or say. They don't like me. Ok, not my problem. They say something insulting. Ok, go f*ck off. Really not my problem. Took me awhile to shift into this mode, but it's like saying NO to someone, it gets easier after the first time. And, you really don't have to say it to their face, you can just think it to yourself and smile sweetly as you walk away......

 

[Silver.]

@She Cat
do you know how you got to that stage of being okay with the bullshit? Did you practice a mantra of like "not my problem?" or what not?

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Silver. It took time, but my T used to always tell me when I would be in therapy and complaint that this one said this, or I thought this one was pissed off at me.. God bless him, he would always respond with, "Why do you give a shit about what they think about you?" So, after awhile, I just stopped giving a shit... still don't. Hope that helps.

 

[Silver.]

it does, thank you @She Cat x

 

[Deleted member 541]

One other thing I sometimes use when I know someone doesn't like me..... it's KILL em with kindness... kind of throws them off balance. Maybe a bit passive/aggressive but it works!!!!

 

[heyheyhey]

thanks for your responses guys ^_^! I'm getting better at not caring when it's a random person. But if a friend says something sarcastic or anything - i just get upset and feel like they hate me. Then I start feeling hurt, upset and like *everyone hates me* - it's the classic depression/low self-esteem loop but i find it really hard to get out of the loop. I feel like it's like i get triggered back to being abused when someone says something, hence why it effects me so badly :(.


That's the hard thing, when it's people i care about! Maybe i should find some less sarcastic people to hang with....but this is the UK, it's like how we speak haha :). So I find it hard to avoid this style of interaction as a general rule...

Then i start worrying I have some kind of personality disorder....when I am sure it's just C-PTSD emotional flashbacks, depression and low self-esteem but the whole mix can make you feel kind of crazy sometimes!

 

[Rani G2]

@heyheyhey

i just get upset and feel like they hate me. Then I start feeling hurt, upset and like *everyone hates me* - it's the classic depression/low self-esteem loop but i find it really hard to get out of the loop.

It is extremely hard to get out of that thought-emotion structure. It has a triggering effect, the part of you that gets activated when such comments are being made has its own state of mind. I am still struggeling with victim perpetrator dynamic, which is very common when it comes to chronic abuse.
When that moment of feeling hurt takes place, can you sense it in your Body? Is it in your chest? Do you have pain? How old is that part of you that gets hurt in that very moment? Is it a more younger version of you? The more you can identify its quality the more concrete it gets. If you can maybe perceive it as a practice that you are going to try out, maybe it lessons the feeling of being delivered? You influence your own emotions, it might have another quality. Dont know if this helps.

 

[heyheyhey]

@heyheyhey

just get upset and feel like they hate me. Then I start feeling hurt...

Thank you!! That was so helpful :)!! I will try this :)!

I've been reading a CBT book today, I think loosening my habit towards low self-esteem will really help me reign in the impact of the emotional flashbacks, I'm feeling a lot more hopeful today :).

 

[Rani G2]

@heyheyhey

I woke up today and there was a strong feeling of being “not seen“ and ignored. This reminds me of a younger 9 year old version of me, that was just left behind in a boarding school. Abandoned and left for myself. You witnessed violence, you got molested? Well handle those emotions for yourself! I still feel that Anger and betrayel. It comes masked as “I hate everyone that doesnt give me the attention I want“.
My therapist asked me to go in an inner conversation with that part being compassionate.

Good to hear that the CBT book helps you heyheyhey. I am sure you will find ways to take good care of yourself.

Shankara