Panic Attacks At Dusk..anything I Can Do?

[Gs172003]

Ok

 

[Deleted member 37605]

Sweetie, all those terrible images of doing things not in your character are of OCD really hurting you. The...

Just to be clear, the OCD really only shows up in times of stress. Now that I think about it. I think my OCD regarding the stove seemed to have happened at the time of my termination and legal consultation.

I also notice that when I am extremely stressed I don't get as many disturbing thoughts. Just that when they come they are more intense and combined with some derealization. My worst OCD moments come when I am about a 5-7 on the stress scale. They come frequently and are not as "real" but are still bothersome.

Although anxiety runs in my family I don't think anyone had OCD.

Psychosis ? I don't think I have psychosis because I feel very, very badly when I think these negative thoughts and truly Psychotic people don't. I never hallucinated except possibly the incident with the prowler may have been a hallucination. It might had also been "sleep-dreaming". It could also have actually happened. As Joey said, disturbing "flash thoughts" that seem real are common with high anxiety.

 

[Deleted member 37605]

You know that's what makes my experience so frustrating.."too much unknown".

If I had been involved in a car accident and then started having flashbacks and fear of driving and all the other classic PTSD symptoms, it would be no piece of cake, but at least I would have some peace of mind knowing what happened to me and knowing what my condition is.

If I had just woken up one day and found myself anxious for no reason throughout the day, I could accept it is GAD and take it from there.

Panic disorder seems unlikely because I managed to stop the panic attacks. Yet I still have some anxiety related symptoms.

I think I need to treat this as OCD (thanks Muse) because OCD basically comes down to "fear of the unknown". That is my worst problem right now. I don't trust my memories. I don't understand why I am having all these "flash thoughts".

My situation is very weird.

 

[joeylittle]

Psychosis ? I don't think I have psychosis because I feel very, very badly when I think these negative thoughts and truly Psychotic people don't.

Sigh.

I'm really not sure where you are getting your definitions from.

As @Zoogal aptly said - Ok.

Work on your symptoms. That's all one does, regardless of the diagnosis. A diagnosis is not an 'answer', it's a tool. You're looking for an answer, and it's leaving you holding the wrong tool. But that doesn't mean you can't get to where you want, in the end.

Get a decent therapist (yours sounds pretty limited), work on the symptoms. That's all.

 

[Gs172003]

The last thing I'm saying then I'm done with this thread.

What It Really Means To Be Psychotic, According To Science

 

[Deleted member 37605]

Ok Ok...

I guess I am a dummy. I have only had this condition for 2 months. I am learning and I am trying.

I guess I am very very scared by all this. My desire for answers has lead me to jump to conclusions.

I have spoken to two Psychologists about my condition, including feeling like people were out to get me. They said it was common with anxiety.

How do I know if this "feeling" is anxiety or if it is a psychotic episode?

I don't actually see or hear anything. I get a feeling like people are "looking at me" and are out to get me. But I don't actually see people running at me with a knife (except for the time following a drug). I don't actually see people in the window. I just think they will appear. (except for the time I saw a prowler which might have been an hallucination).

Basically I put a mental image in my own head. I imagine people coming at me. But I am fully aware I am imagining it. I don't see any images of it actually happening.

I got my experience with "psychosis" from reading the book called "Dare", the best rated anxiety book on amazon. The author says something like "don't worry it is not psychosis, you are NOT going crazy..what you are feeling is normal"

I invite you all to read this book.

 

[Ronin]

"Dare", the best rated anxiety book on amazon.

Perhaps a change in literature toward more scientifically minded one would be helpful, although thank you for your recommendation.

I don't actually see or hear anything. I get a feeling like people are "looking at me" and are out to get me. But I don't actually see people

Look, anything that distorts reality - not just psychosis - is a lot more profound than straight up, movie-like hallucinations. They're really not a requirement, nor the most common symptom, quite often. It's a misconception.

I guess I am very very scared by all this.

That's understandable, but fear can be helped by seeing a qualified mental health professional that will help you determine what exactly is going on with you, and how to best treat it.

 

[Deleted member 37605]

In Canada it is difficult to find a good psychiatrist with openings. Because our system has socialized health care for Psychiatrists, so it's basically funded by the taxpayer. On the other hand Psychologists or therapists are not covered. We need to pay out of pocket (or if covered by your employer's health plan). Therefore it is expensive.

 

[Deleted member 37605]

Perhaps a change in literature toward more scientifically minded one would be helpful, although thank you...

No, you should read this book. It's amazing. It has helped thousands of people recover from anxiety disorders.

I don't understand. what knowledge from a scientific journal is going to help me exactly?

Look, anything that distorts reality - not just psychosis - is a lot more profound than straight up, movie-like hallucinations. They're really not a requirement, nor the most common symptom, quite often. It's a misconception.

I am just not going on an anti-psychotic because I have OCD. Those drugs are very dangerous.

That's understandable, but fear can be helped by seeing a qualified mental health professional that will help you determine what exactly is going on with you, and how to best treat it.

They basically tell me it doesn't matter what I have. It only matters that my nervous system is out of whack and they think their talk therapy is going to help fix it.

I am not so sure, that is why I am seeing others.

 

[anonymous]

I think the term "simple phobia" was a bad choice of words on my part. I never meant to imply tha...

What you describe may seem like significant functional impairment to you, but it is not actually significant functional impairment in the diagnostic sense. You are describing symptoms, not functional impairment.

 

[Powder]

If you have suffered from something your whole life, what's waiting a few months to get into a good Psychiatrist? It's a drop in a bucket and free, so what's holding you back?

I think you're afraid and procrastinating about this, doing the wheel spinning.

I just felt that with my mysterious health problem. I'm still feeling very afraid that it's something terrible and that I won't cope well if I'm told that. But I have kids and made myself go in case it needs to be caught early and give us the fighting chance of early detection.

On the other hand, if it's terminal, I would not want to spend a fortune fighting it and hurt them financially. I would do palliative care and let them have my life insurance. But I have read that whether its finding out your baby is disabled during gestation or finding out you are very ill, having the extra time to process the emotional blow makes a huge difference for people.

Since I am extra hindered by PTSD and can go numb for long periods instead of actively processing, I need all the time I can get.

In this case, who do you talk to about the kinds of things we've been discussing here on this thread, in your daily life?

It seems to me having a real and trusted person to offer this kind of feedback has helped me hugely in not shutting down and staying numb. The other person's saying "you seem upset" or "I can tell you are stressed because you are ...." and having that consistency provides the catalyst feedback that I think normal, non-disordered or in touch with their emotions people already have internally.

For me, it's not a therapist but my spouse, and since this feedback is given as needed, or daily, I see it as an externalized alarm system for my emotions.

In my toxic family of origin, I got this kind of feedback from my mother, but she is so toxic and probably the reason I have PTSD, that her observations about my behavior drove me to further dissociate from my feelings. Or I would only feel my body's reactions and not ever find the emotions to connect behind them, since she had zero emotional intelligence.

My husband is trained in psychology and is a natural therapist, as my last T. said she was growing up as well. She said people would just start telling her their issues and she might as well get paid. I do believe some people have this kind of gift, but overall, require excellent training to be able to pick apart the kind of confusion and treatments that can be done. For instance, my best T. was skeptical of EMDR at first, until she saw it helping people, and then she got fully trained and used it whenever appropriate for her ready clients.

She taught me many tricks to cope with dissociation that I needed at that time. Since then, I've used them, but also found that keeping to a routine and being more grounded in my thoughts about what I'm doing (aka, staying busy and doing less living in my head, which my old job actually encouraged) helps me prevent dissociation habits.

I hope you cut through the need to insulate from this by over-thinking it. (Been there done that, and do it all the time!)

Take action based on quality feedback and backed by your own process of elimination, and you won't be wasting time. You might be gifting yourself more time spent feeling well.

I'm glad you are in a remission time, but that is exactly when, with my PTSD, what I'm lucid, that I have to use my memory to know that this will come back again and again during stress times, and I have to be prepared and ready for that.

Take care,

Muse

 

[Deleted member 37605]

I am happy to see a Psychiatrist and wait it out. But unfortunately, the only means I have at finding a psychiatrist is basically just to cold call them. That's inconvenient and stressful for anyone.

I have been talking about this with friends. But I left out the part of OCD'ing because they have families. I would be too scared they would just think I am crazy and would never let them be around their kids. I talked about this to a psychologist. She said she think I have a lot of repressed anger. She is probably right.

Anyways, I feel very fortunate that I wasn't hit with something worse. My symptoms are abating. I don't have disturbing OCD thoughts very often. I woke up today and it was pretty dark out due to the weather but after an hour, I felt mostly like my old self, minus some light pressure in my head and some lightheadedness.