Do You Think PTSD Is A Terminal Illness?

[ISupportHer]

Sorry!
"It's just that this loss, or death if you want to put it that way, is what I mourne when I posted about grief in the Carers' area." from my previous post reads too negative. I'm sorry.

 

[Tinyflame]

Don't be sorry, you feel/felt what you feel/felt, nothing wrong with that.

I think that your example will provide your wife with tremendous support, and go a long way (even unconsciously) in helping her attain a more 'lovable' view of herself.

Hang in there.

P.S- Your explanation of the difference between "does i/ "will it..", and "can" it be, I believe is very accurate. And gives me hope.
Thank you.

 

[texaskitty]

Seems I struck a nerve in the community. I didn't mean to. I have been having a horrible time adjusting to disability and to the onset of another round of insomnia (theres a thread on that here as well).

But something struck me in the responses. It seems some feel that I am wallowing in self-pity. Am I? I am 50 years old and have fought first the abuse trauma itself and then the aftermath. I wasn't correctly diagnosed until 2004, and thats a long time to dance with the demons.

The pdoc and tdoc both agree that it will take therapy and time for me to heal and have a better quality of life.

Quality of life. Thats really the key to me. I may have already posted this but I had my beloved Buddy euthanized last September. I still miss him everyday. He was so sick and suffering and I suffered with him. Finally I realized that I was being cruel by not being brave and taking him to the vet to be euthanized. It was the right thing to do although it hurts like hell.

If I judged my quality of life like I did with my cat, I'd take myself down to the vet and be euthanized. Maybe thats crazy thinking, but sometimes I wonder. Thats what torments me so. Is wanting out of this just a symptom of the PTSD, one that needs to be dealt with in therapy, or is it me knowing inside that sooner or later that is what is going to happen?

I just don't know.

TexasKitty

 

[ISupportHer]

Again, I am a "Carer" and feel I am not qualified to speak directly to the feelings you have. I just wanted to jump in with a word of support. I see how hard it is at my house. "Hang in there" seems too simple and too trivial but I hope you continue to seek help. With your Mental Health resources at home and in posting here. When you feel alone, I feel you have a voice here. That's been my experience.

 

[anthony]

Texas Kitty... everyone dies, that is a fact. You are trying to add to that fact, that you are having suicidial ideation from what I am reading, thus you are trying to get people to agree with you taking your life, atleast in theory that is, because of PTSD. I am sorry, but whilst you have endured trauma, you are by far not worse off than many in the world. On a scale of things, if you have Internet access... you're doing much better than millions of others within the world. Yes, trauma is well.... traumatizing, however; does that mean the end of life? No, not by far. How long it has taken for a correct diagnosis has nothing to do with either, as there are people out there who have had PTSD there entire life and still not diagnosed, instead just going about life the best they can possibly do with something they have no idea what is wrong with them... likely won't ever know.

There are people in Africa raped, tortued and worse daily... they go work themselves through it because they have no choice, thus they continue on with life having to put behind them the uglyness of their past and try to move forward. The majority do so. There are far worse off in the world than you or I... or anyone else here who has Internet access in the first place. Should we have self pity parties? No... we do, but when you look beyond yourself, you often find just how fortunate we are. When you have seen and lived in third world countries... you appreciate just how well you have it compared to them. I have seen and lived in such countries, hence why I speak from experience as to just how luck you, I and everyone else here has it just by having Internet access and the ability to talk with others around the world, under a roof out of the weather, electricity, food and so forth.

It is healthy to discuss suicidal ideation... but its not healthy to try and wrap it around other things and step around it instead of being honest with what you are thinking. You can't discuss suicide here... ie. going to do it, but it is healthy to discuss suicidal ideation... where it is a thought within your mind. I would have to say that every person with PTSD will at some point have suicidal ideation... the thoughts off pro's and con's to life. Each obviously makes up their own mind based on their life experience and thought patterns. I tried it and was caught just in time... had ideation for a couple of years I think leading up to an attempt.

Lets be honest though with ourselves.... please don't step around the subject when you are weighing up your own life... seek help immediately or discuss ideation.

 

[Grama-Herc]

Anthony, while I agree wi th every word here, may I interject that maybe you were somewhat harsh in your response.

 

[becvan]

Thats what torments me so. Is wanting out of this just a symptom of the PTSD, one that needs to be dealt with in therapy, or is it me knowing inside that sooner or later that is what is going to happen?

It sounds like uncontrolled symptoms to me. I've been there and I bet almost every single person here, with PTSD, has been too. We want the pain and the symptoms to end and don't know how to make them, leaving suicide as our brains automatic solution.

It's not the solution. Yes you do need to deal with this in therapy and you need more therapy. You need to learn better coping techniques and tackle the core of the problem which is the trauma. It takes awhile but it does get better.

Quality of life is not equal to terminal illness. Suicide is not equal to terminal illness. Those of us who die from complications of PTSD is not terminal illness.

The terminally ill have NO options left. They have NO choices left. They do not have the options of therapy, lifestyle changes or medication. They are given this many months to live and then they die. It is the ultimate bottom line.

Now I have almost died of complications of PTSD. I consider myself lucky to have pulled through it. At no point, was I terminally ill. We worked on numerous health care and mental health options for me to pull through.

I have has family members (numerous) that were terminally ill. They died. The only treatment was to make them as comfortable as possible in their last days.

This whole comparison is not only ridiculous it's insulting to those that are terminally ill. We are not even close to it.

bec

 

[fin]

If left to fester and uncontrolled all of it is terminal but hey you and we all have choices we are very lucky.

I have and had to keep getting up and getting back to treatment, it can be managed and we can live and have a life that is rewarding and wonderful.... no mater how long or how short it is... it is precious and I think should be treated as such.

I am sorry if I sound harsh here this is not meant to at all. It is what it is and nothing more than my opinion based on my experiences. I hope that you will find your way to managing and learning that you can work through your past take care ~

 

[lrs]

Anthony, while I agree wi th every word here, may I interject that maybe you were somewhat harsh in your response.

At times, harshness is warranted, and is also necessary.

 

[cat]

Anthony, having had a similar conversation(lecture!) from my psychologist several weeks ago which has given me a kick in the right direction I have to agree with you.

I was stuck in self pity & was told very plainly that I was in 'secondary gain' mode, something I was unaware that I was doing, but since then I have really got a grip on myself re-engaged in therapy & given myself no options but to get back on the road to recovery.
Texas-Kitty - Anthony's words are very harsh but sometimes we need to hear them. You can get through this bad time & learn to manage PTSD, its scary & seems never ending but eventually you begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel & life begins to feel good again. Use all the help you can get but mostly it has to come from you!

 

[TLight]

I have been in 'when is the end coming?' mode for most of my life. I remember watching things on TV about living healthier and longer and I thought to myself; "Who on Earth would ever want to live longer? Let alone live?"

I was just waiting to die, and had two serious attempts.

Even two years into therapy, I was hoping for a cancer diagnosis. I even had a tumor and almost decided not to treat it.

I know this feeling, Texas-Kitty. It is entirely understandable and I have immense compassion for you.

Sometimes it seems PTSD rules everything and it is so disheartening to be in such pain, physical, emotional and mental pain non-stop that death does seem like the only option.

Now, for about the last year and a half, I've realized that this monster can be managed. That we feel and release the pain through therapy and eventually, I've experienced little tiny bits of time that are filled with peace and fulfillment. This is totally new to me, but being trained in science and having read how plastic the brain is.............I've got to truly believe that the brain can be re-wired.

It takes a ton of time, lots of slips, lots of support and tons of discipline...............but I know that it can be done.

Miracles do happen and we can re-wire our brain so that life truly does become worth living. Yes...........it is going to be a life-long process...........a hard road..........filled with backslides and pain.

But PTSD is not terminal........it can be managed and re-wiring takes effort, consciousness and belief.

Please hang in there and BELIEVE.........

 

[Deleted member 541]

I don't think that there has been a length of time in my life that I haven't prayed for death, cancer or a terminal illness.... For me the depression part of PTSD is the worst. It's there night and day, drags you down and then kicks the shit out of you, just for the shits and giggles.

I have had many serious attemots, and for some unknown reason, I am still here. So, I try my best everyday to struggle through. It isn't easy, it's isn't fun, and it's a lot of work, and takes effort, but hell it's all we have....

So like the rest of us have said, hang in there......