It Happened All Over Again

[Littlebirdy44]

I haven't been on this site in a few weeks but I'm so alone right now.

I was sexually abused as a child by my neighborhood and have a borderline/narcissistic father who physically and emotionally abused me and my siblings which led to my diagnosis or ptsd and depersonalization disorder. All of that was in the past though and I've been healing from all of it over the last few months in therapy.

But two weeks ago I was sexually assaulted by a group of guys I went to high school with that live in my neighborhood. Any resilience and hope Id built up over the last few years Is just gone. They stole everything from me. Everything I had left.

I just don't know what to do anymore. This is too much for me. I don't know where to turn or who to talk to or what to do. I am so afraid, someone left a note on my car yesterday that said kill yourself. I can't handle these threats or this situation. I am overwhelmed and just so afraid. I don't know what to do.

Sorry I meant to say I was sexually abused by my neighbor

 

[Justmehere]

I'm so sorry this happened.

I have gone through trauma as an adult after starting recovery from childhood trauma. It felt like everything was over and ruined and all was lost at the time.

It wasn't. Things got better again, and the work I did prior to the new trauma helped tremdously in the long run to heal from everything.

The work you have already done is not lost. It is helping you even now - you are taking good steps like reaching out here.

Please consider contacting this organization in the US: www.RAINN.org. They can help you in many different ways and connect you to a local rape crisis organization that can help you navigate all of this including what can be done to keep you safe now.

Even if you can't feel it or see it, there is hope.

 

[Littlebirdy44]

I'm so sorry this happened.

I have gone through trauma as an adult after starting recovery from chi...

Will they report my situation to the police? There have been threats to to friends and family and I don't want the police to get involved because I'm afraid for them?

 

[Justmehere]

As long as you are not a minor, then no they absolutely will not report it to the police on your behalf or for any other reason. They are incredibly respectful of the choice for of survivors to report or not report. You get to choose. They will support your choice and either walk with you through recovery and getting safe without involving law enforcement, or if you choose to report, they can help you with that as well. But you totally get to choose.

You can even make up a name when you talk to them on the phone. When I called them I asked they call me jane doe. They easily did. You can be even more annonymous and connect to them via the online chat option on their page.