Terrified Of A Doctors Appointment Tomorrow

[Leisel]

I am so afraid that I spent the whole day trying to distract myself, then as soon as I wasn't distracted, felt this huge wave of anger and guilt, even thinking about suicide and other self destructive things, and I didn't realize until now that it's fear.
I really need to see a doctor but I'm so terrified of them. I get flashbacks from doctors. I hate that they have to touch me. I'm so scared.
Someone was going to go with me but she's really sick and I don't think she will be able to and I don't know what to do, I don't think I can handle it alone but I feel like it's weird to reschedule and what if she can't go in the future anyway?
Plus since it's less than 24 hours will I have to pay a cancellation fee?
I don't know. I'm terrified. I was so pissed off and then I thought about it and now I'm crying. Why are emotions like this lol. Anger makes me feel more powerful. Now that my anger has gone and the fear has come, I feel like a broken little child. I don't know what to do.

 

[void]

I know some patients ask for the Nurse to be in the room during the appt.

This is common and perhaps it may be helpful for you.

Remember your grounding techniques they may help a bit as well.

Let us know what you decide......ok?

Be well @Leisel

Safe cyber:hug:

 

[The Albatross]

Bring yourself back around to "I really need to see a doctor" and try to form a strategy so that you can do so to meet your need (which is better than spinning and ramping up anticipatory stress)... then resolve to do some self calming, grounding, mindful activities/techniques to get through it as best as you can at that time.

 

[Twilight]

I am so afraid that I spent the whole day trying to distract myself, then as soon as I wasn't distracted...

Anger made me feel more powerful, too, but healing comes when you let the anger go, and get to the underlying emotions (fear, shame, unlove, etc.) So, you are on the right track letting go of your anger. I dont know about your doc appt. I would try to go with a friend for the emotional support, if possible.