Please Help Me

[Kieran]

I'm really sorry that this is happening to your friend, it can't be easy for either of you.

Speaking from experience, as someone who tried to kill himself many times and as someone who pushed people away because of it, I can say this: the only thing you can do is let him know that you care about him and let him know that you're there for him; thinking of him.

You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved. The best thing you can do is hope for the best. The only other thing I can suggest is to ask the question you asked here to a crisis support specialist by calling a suicide hotline. They can help you and it may help you help your friend.

Best of luck! I hope your friend stays and you two reunite in a healthy manner. :hug:

 

[Mrs.Dancea]

I know that it probably sounds corny but you have to let him know that you are always there for him. You have to rea...

He is a doctor. My only luck was that I have the number of one of his rookies. I call him and he goes with an ambulance and everything. It's really hard to find him tho. He is a war doc. In a really big camp. In a big city. I'm afraid that the next time will be too late and that will destroy me completely.

 

[Sunshineturtle]

Then he needs to be what we call in Florida baker acted, i.e. evaluated and held against his will for stabilization.. made to get help. The bottom line is, if he wants to die, he is going to die. What he is doing, however, to you is abusive. By sharing that with you, leaving you with that, unless it is his way to ask for help, knowing you will get it for him. If he is just saying it and then refuses help, then it's emotional blackmail, i.e. abusive. You are not his therapist. Get him seen by a professional, but either way, take care of yourself. I know that this sounds harsh, but you are not going to be able to live with his death if you figuratively watch it happen. Stay safe.

 

[Mrs.Dancea]

Then he needs to be what we call in Florida baker acted, i.e. evaluated and held against his wil...

I literally heard him die 4 times. He called me every time to say that he's sorry. I stayed with him on the phone till the ambulance got there. He has 3 hiding places and his rookie always dispatched teams to look for him. And yes. I am feeling so low sometimes that I think I should cut again myself. But I won't. I'll try not to. Cause he's not accepting help. He's pushing everyone away. Including me. That's what he did last night. He said that if I won't leave him alone he will rather die. I didn't go away. Not like I did previous times. I'm not going anywhere anymore.

 

[Mrs.Dancea]

I know that it probably sounds corny but you have to let him know that you are always there for him. You have to rea...

He's gonna kill himself tonight or tomorrow night. I can't even remember. I've lost it the moment I heard. And there's nothing I can do. But I told him that I will never leave him. Never walk away. If he will do this.... I will be there for him. He doesn't deserve to be left alone. No one deserves that. I hope still that he won't. Im sorry guys. I hope I can be strong enough to do this

 

[Sunshineturtle]

This is emotional blackmail, i.e. abuse.

 

[Mrs.Dancea]

This is emotional blackmail, i.e. abuse.

And what do I do?

 

[Sunshineturtle]

And what do I do?

You either, 1. Decide that you are going to have him seen/evaluated/stabilized against his will.. with a court order.. in fl it is called a baker act, md it is an emergency petition, etc because he needs help that you cannot give
Or
2. You tell him that you love/care for him, and want him to get help. You are concerned for him because a, b, c, d... and if he agrees wonderful but if he does not..
You tell him that you love/care for him but what he is doing to you is not ok. You are not going to watch him kill himself. You cannot make him get help. You cannot make him want the help but, you can love yourself enough to not allow anyone to emotionally put you through this. He can call you uf he wants you to gelo him get to the hospital etc, but not until then.
No more of this other stuff abd if ge dies, then you will have to stop all calls because he is hurting you.
Then do it. Mean it.
You have to care about you more than anyone . You have to. You are not helping him by allowing him to talk about it. Bottom line is, if he wants to die, he is going to. If he wants help he will take it.
Stay safe.

 

[Ally2016]

my friend whom I love so much tried to kill him self 4 times already and that only since I know him....

Is he under mental health? Could you report this to his caseworker? He needs support and I don't know where you live but in nz you have to call the police if someone is or has tried to harm themselves. That way he will be kept safe.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

I would give him as much time as he needs. Im too f*cked up to care about me. I just want him alive

Is it possible that helping him, takes your heart and mind off of YOUR issues? You CANNOT live for someone else!!!

You tell him that you love/care for him, and want him to get help. You are concerned for him because a, b, c, d... and if he agrees wonderful but if he does not..

You tell him that you love/care for him but what he is doing to you is not ok. You are not going to watch him kill himself. You cannot make him get help. You cannot make him want the help but, you can love yourself enough to not allow anyone to emotionally put you through this. He can call you uf he wants you to gelo him get to the hospital etc, but not until then.

No more of this other stuff abd if ge dies, then you will have to stop all calls because he is hurting you.
Then do it. Mean it.

You have to care about you more than anyone . You have to. You are not helping him by allowing him to talk about it. Bottom line is, if he wants to die, he is going to. If he wants help he will take it.
Stay safe.

I am sorry that you are in this position...you aren't responsible for ANYTHING that he does. PLEASE tell him what it is doing to you. If you tell him, and he continues...he doesn't care about you. You deserve better, and you do NOT deserve to be emotionally battered, even if you think it is okay!

 

[Sunshineturtle]

If you are too messed up to care about you, then you ARE part of the problem and are NO HELP to him. Sorry, but that is the truth. Both of you need to seek serious mental health treatment immediately. Stay safe.