Relationship Girlfriend Suffers From Ptsd...how Can I Help Her?

[stark1984]

My girlfriend of a few months, I've come to understand has PTSD which appears to have been caused by at least separate events in her past. The first event was attempted rape by an ex boyfriend. The second two were active burglary break-ins while she was home. These all happened years ago, at least 5.

As a result, she has never really lived on her own. Which puts a damper on our relationship. I'm all about being independent, fearless, strong, things like that. My girlfriend, on the other hand has become hypervigilant. She doesn't feel safe living anywhere unless there's another person who can defend her.

We talked about this extensively last night. I care about her a lot. Yet, I don't know how to help her build a sense of self security. How do I help her process all this and see the world as not such a scary place?

 

[Llith]

In my experience, and you may not like this answer. But it is going to mainly just take time. That and some therapy if she is not seeing someone already.

You can do little things like talk to her about it, practice going out and she has some friends over, and slowly work it down. I think talking with her and letting her express her fears each time, telling her she is not silly for thinking that way, she has good reasons. Explaining that you both need to work it out as it is important to you, but you are willing to work with her not against her.

Finally, she may get to the stage where she is okay with it, but there is a high chance she will never 'like' it. She has had different experiences to you and what is freedom for you is terrifying for her.

I wish you and your gf all the best, PTSD is a difficult thing in a relationship, but staying in touch with how you both feel about it and making sure you both get what you need is key :).

 

[Deadman]

@stark1984 asked "...how Can I Help Her?"

Start by reading some of the older posts in 'supporter relationships'. There are many posts from people who have asked that same question.

Next read the PTSD articles at the front of this website. Understanding PTSD will help you understand your GF.

 

[The Albatross]

Link Removed

 

[Parley]

You've only been together a few month so I'm thinking her living arrangements are not your business.

Take sparring class with her and let her practice at home with full contact. :joyful: If she too scared to walk in an empty home, clear the house for her. look under the couch if necessary. When you leave, remind her to lock the door. buy her a can of wasp spray and wrap it with glow in the dark hearts. empower her... support her... and believe the world is a scary place for her.

Therapy probably wouldn't hurt.

 

[Tinyflame]

How do I help her process all this and see the world as not such a scary place?

Her world is because it has been.