Other Memory loss, do you have it, how do you deal with it?

[Changing4Best]

I have been having short term memory loss, which has gotten worse with age. It started in my mid-30s. It has progressed to the point where I have trouble following plot lines in books or memoirs. I will get something out of the fridge and forget to put it back a minute later. I have to write lists. I write everything down on my calendar. If I don't I am likely to forget it. Sometimes I forget to look at my calendar.

I forget what I have done quite quickly after I have done it sometimes, like what I did yesterday is not clear in my mind totally. Some of it, the routine things I do remember, but the small stuff? Nope. Not always. Sometimes I am lucky and I remember.

I heard that dark chocolate helps with memory, so I figured, what the heck?! Why not. So I eat a piece of it every day (that is, if I remember to). I have it right on the table where I eat in a candy bowl, so it is hard to miss it.

How do you deal with memory loss?

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

Dry erase boards in practically every room.

Pocket-sized notebook and pen to carry everywhere I go, when I remember it, or don't leave it behind wherever I was using it.

Another larger notebook I use to carry with all of my other books to make notations, use as a journal of sorts, and to use while at home.

Emailing myself important stuff.

Will call myself to leave me a message.

Requesting folks communicate with me via email vs. phone calls whenever possible.

Requesting things in writing from various professionals I have to deal with, "for my brain's sake", if asked why. I used to think I was creating more work for them and felt bad about asking them to provide that on top of the time I'd already taken up, even though I was paying them for a service, but what felt worse was not being able to utilize those resources fully because of ingrained fear.

If I'm reading something I need to remember or wish to recall at a later time, it helps me tremendously to take notes and actually write out the main points, otherwise, it easily escapes the mind space never to be found again. lol Typing does not work as well as hand writing for retention, but I'll often type up highlights of things to be able to refer back to as a summary of sorts.

And as crazy as it may sound to some, giving up meat, dairy, eggs, alcohol, and caffeine did wonders to create more memory space and clearing the massive brain fog that made it hard to read and retain anything, although that wasn't my intended purpose for giving them up, it just ended up being yet another very welcomed and highly beneficial bonus.

I used to avoid the library, and most all forms of research, but it's now one of my favorite spaces and past times and my brain can't get enough. I can't recite or translate everything I find value in back to others to be clear enough for them to grasp from their current space of understanding, as we all continually jive on such different vibes, but I finally have a grasp on it as it relates to self, and that's more than I ever managed before.

I can remember one or two things to grab at the grocery without the aid of writing things down, but beyond that, it must be written, then must be placed in pocket immediately, or it tends to get left behind on the counter. lol

Rosemary is said to be a good herbal aid to assist with memory. I grow some, so I make it a point to visit it often to drink in the aromas as I thank it for it's beauty, deliciousness, and welcoming aroma in what I refer to as the scratch and sniff section of my plants. lol I have no measurable results to present, but it's been a very pleasant method to try.

 

[ForgotToLive]

Wow! I'm so GLAD someone is talking about this! I cannot recall hardly any random data... like dates, numbers, lists, where things are, names of people, trivia, just so many things everyone around me knows.

I am the master of creating systems, which is what you are describing! Like the keys live in one and only one spot... I would be lost without my calendar and alarms. I tell my kids "if you don't watch me put it in my calendar then it doesn't exist". I text everyone and avoid phone calls like the plague.

Therapists who even believe me with regard to how serious and debilitating it is say it's lack of sleep. I disagree. I think as a child I trained myself to forget all things that were happening around me unless they were essential.to my survival. No therapist seems to give any validity to this theory but it is the only explanation that makes sense to me.

 

[Changing4Best]

Yes, I agree that could be what you do. @ForgotToLive

I for one, forgot entirely everything that my abuser/ molester did to me because he said, after every time he hurt me, "This didn't happen." He also told me not to tell anyone. I have dyslexia, so I did not learn to speak until I was nearly 4. I did not learn to read until my 2nd time through the 3rd grade. Anyway, what he did to me was finally uncovered in therapy when I was in my mid-30s, or I would never have remembered it. Sometimes I still think it didn't happen, but then I recall the dredged up memories and I have to admit that it did happen. But that ORDER to forget, to say that "this didn't happen" is still there in my mind, and so it is very possible that I forget stuff today because of that being there in my mind too. It is possible.

 

[charismaria]

I think as a child I trained myself to forget all things that were happening around me unless they were essential.to my survival. No therapist seems to give any validity to this theory but it is the only explanation that makes sense to me.

I agree about remembering what is essential to survival. There's so many memories in there, viscerally, and a lot of fleeting moments but unfortunately a lot of my memories are things that happened that I wish I could forget.

 

[J'qel]

I usually work around it. I handle it like people who forget normal things, by generally asking or looking it up or just letting it go and accepting that my memory is shot.

It can be rough, depending on what I'm forgetting, but the people around me know me well enough and while they tease me about it, they're generally accepting.

If it's something I absolutely must remember, like an appointment, I write it down in several places (in case I accidentally throw out a reminder), make sure that those who can call the day before to remind me, and that my husband tries to remember for me.

I know I've forgotten large parts of my life (what the hell *did* I do the summer of grade eight? I have a huge blank. What about my fourth apartment? I know I had one but I don't remember where it was or anything about it) and sometimes it's scary, but I can't do anything about it so I try not to pry too hard, otherwise I know I'll get really upset.

Since I've been in treatment for my PTSD it's gotten better, but I still have my issues, and I don't expect that they're ever going to get much better. It's just a part of me I have to live with.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Well, my memory loss problems (mainly connected with dissociation) are somehow getting better, and as always, I have no idea why or how. But they are getting better, lately I haven't forgotten as much stuff, or at least haven't figured out that I forgot it.

As for short term memory loss, yea, small things happen all the time, but I forget about them :p E.g. closing doors, lights. I really do not take it as a serious thing.

@SheilaKathy I am not sure why, but for some reason, I am forgetting my abuse again. I'm sorta scared of it, because at some point in life I couldn't remember anything and it lasted for years. It makes me feel really lost. I am not sure what else am I forgetting. I cannot describe precisely what happened, just very general stuff. I forgot about some stuff that happened. But at the same time it feels like I'm remembering. I might be remembering how much there is but remebering details of only a part of it, making it feel as if I am forgetting although the total amount of memories is going up? Like, the percentage known going down.

I am very confused :p But that might be similar, since I forgot my abuse for years.

 

[Changing4Best]

Since I forgot my abuse for years too, I can relate, @Saelben . I think it comes back to us when and if we can deal with it. Like when your mind is ready to work with it somehow, that is when it comes back to us. That is what I think anyway, for whatever it is worth.

I know, that when it came back to me, some 25-30 years later, after it had been totally buried in my subconscious, I did not particularly feel ready to handle it. I skipped out of therapy at the point when I finally recalled it (in therapy) but then my mind went to it here and there, when it was ready to deal with it, bits and pieces of it anyway. As the years went by, I would think about it here and there and remember more of it.

Finally, when I found this website, for the first time in my life, I really started to deal with it. I wrote a Trauma Diary feverishly and when I was DONE with it, I never went back to it. Since then, I have been helping others, and continuing on in therapy with a new therapist. She and I don't do any work on it in therapy either, sticking to present life stuff. Occasionally it comes up, but if it does, we don't dwell on it.

I don't think that it is necessary to deal with it ever in depth. I have not really, other than to detail out as much of it in my trauma diary here as I could. That was enough for me. I did not have to do EMDR or any other kind of Trauma Therapy. Nor at this point in my life do I feel the need to.

Life goes on. I deal with stuff as it comes up, and if something is more than what I can deal with, I bring it up in therapy. Sometimes that is enough. Sometimes it isn't. When it isn't, I "take it home with me" and think on it some more. Sometimes I come up with a solution, sometimes time itself does.

I pray. That helps too. My mother used to say, "I don't know who it is I am praying to, but I pray. I figure it can't hurt." Or words to that affect. My whole family does more or less the same thing. I go to church too, and get others to pray with me sometimes. That helps too. When I pray, I don't feel as if I have the world weighing down upon me. I feel as if Someone is there to help me. That helps too.

 

[Greg]

I'm suffering from this as well. I'm mostly symptom free now except for some anxiety and verbal recall and memory problems. Has anyone successfully rehabbed memory loss problems?

 

[matthewelliotm]

I'm suffering from this as well. I'm mostly symptom free now except for some anxiety and verbal recall and...

I've been struggling recently with my memory lately as well, especially with verbal recall, specific dates, following written/verbal/visual narrative, pattern recognition, etc. Would also like to know what if anything can be done to mitigate (besides the usual white boards and endless lists and reminders). It seems especially acute when my stress level increases (of course, lately it seem like it only takes the slightest breeze to send my amygdala into overdrive), including my health anxiety. Think of it as a catch 22 in action lol.

Been dealing with prolonged sleep deprivation since January, in addition to regular severe panic attacks. Only just now starting to get more than one-two hours sleep a night if I'm lucky, while the ongoing panic symptoms are being managed with a diazepam prescription. Suffice to say, my cognitive function has been less than optimal as of late. It's like there's a gap where neutral thought and verbal memory used to manifest in my consciousness, a palpable void. Now things only seem to 'click' if I'm facing what feelings like a fight, flight or freeze situation. Part of me worries that my wholesale withdrawal from high intensity cognitive engagement (prior to becoming symptomatic, I would regularly and passionately consume tens of thousands of words per week, analysing intense, topical sociopolitical issues in public fora on a daily basis -- now I play my Solitaire app and try not to collapse into a puddle of panic-stricken goo), music, Netflix, etc is contributing to what feels like steady decline. There's certainly depression factoring into the neurotic morass. Yet I find myself overwhelmed by pretty well any stimulation, hence why I pulled back in the first place. I miss feelings that aren't based solely on an automatic response to fear -- passion, anger, sadness, love, joy, righteous conviction -- all parts of what used to make me feel human. Everyone says that it takes time and patience to heal, but I worry sometimes that I'm broken beyond repair.

 

[Beks]

I also suffer from this, Im in mid 30's now. I was never good with dates and times but that seemed to be something else, not understanding numbers.
Since abuse trauma and PTSD in late 20's, its like my brain was wrecked. I get so frustrated and depressed, because I know I could do stuff before that I cant now (had temporary amnesia), I can't seem to learn or problem solve anymore - and after two science degrees and never ending interest in how things work I feel like my world ended. GP's dont care, old people automatically dont believe me because I am younger than them, people just dont get it.

 

[Changing4Best]

I also suffer from this, Im in mid 30's now. I was never good with dates and times but that seemed to be s...

So sorry! What an awful thing to be suffering at your age. At least, being in my mid-60s, I can say I am having a "Senior Moment."