What the **** happened in therapy today?

[Keen]

@Kassie Although, I haven't experienced it to the extent you described. I...

Thanks for your response. I guess this may be a "normal" thing for therapy. But its definitely freaky when it occurs. I wish I knew how to stay in control and not let it happen.

 

[WishfulThinking123]

I used to like going away...easier emotionally that's for sure. But, then I realized when I am talking about my trauma in this state...no emotions are attached at all therefore, I am not really processing it in the way I need to in order to recover and heal. Therefore, I have started purposefully trying to ground myself in T and refuse to go away. When you start feeling scared at first due to the topic being discussed and then kind of feel this almost "good" feeling (for me it feels like endorphins are being released in my brain and I feel more relaxed and distant as I go within myself) purposefully tell yourself inside I am going to stay present and focus intently on the carpet or anything else you see and on what you feel physically such as how the couch your sitting on feels. I hope this helps!

 

[Keen]

I used to like going away...easier emotionally that's for sure. But, then I realized when I...

Thanks! Thats good advice.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

Maybe this happened to me once. It was my second therapy appointment and we were delving into what happened. My therapist said something and I heard a different younger scared voice come out of me and say, "but he made me do things." Then the therapist said, "this is going to take some time." After that, I felt like I was back. I didn't feel or sound like me when I said it. But I physically know that I did say it.

 

[BlueOrange]

But, then I realized when I am talking about my trauma in this state...no emotions are attached at all therefore, I am not really processing it in the way I need to in order to recover and heal.

Depends. In the Structural Dissociation book, they talk about 3 stages.
1) Stabilization
2) Overcoming the fear of the facts of what happened
3) Overcoming the fear of the emotions of what happened

So, if you're scared to talk about it at all, then you're at stage 1 or 2, and talking about it at all is progress. When you're ready to do the emotional stuff, then your advice is awesome. But if you're not ready, then you can still make progress.

 

[Keen]

Maybe this happened to me once. It was my second therapy appointment and we were delving into what happ...

Yes, that was a lot like what it was like. Its weird to be there and know you're saying things but not feel like you're saying them, huh? I've dissociated in different ways before, but this was just totally different and weird to me.

 

[7Cs]

I have definitely had this happen many times. It can happen to me outside of therapy but usually it's in therapy talking about something that is in some way triggering (childhood traumas or emotions attached to them). I also remember what is happening throughout but it is surreal. I understand the idea of "faking" or "making it up" (very common reaction) but I also know that it's real, I know that I'm not trying to act that way and in fact will try to break through it to "be me again" once I realize it's happened. I do think it's structural dissociation and mine is caused by multiple traumas throughout my childhood. My T has also mentioned my parts by age.

Just wanted to chime in to let you know that you're not alone in this... as you can see from the other responses. :)

 

[Deleted member 35429]

I remember how scary it was for me first time this happened. You'll definitely want to familiarize yourself with structural dissociation and transference/countertransference in therapy. The more you experience this the less power it will have over you. You are in for a bumpy ride but it will get better. I promise.

 

[Keen]

I have definitely had this happen many times. It can happen to me outside of therapy but usually it's in th...

Thank you, it really helps to have you and others tell me they've experienced the same thing in the same ways, even using words that really match the way I think about things. I really appreciate you replying!

I remember how scary it was for me first time this happened. You'll definitely want to familiarize yoursel...

Thank you! I appreciate your support! You are the first one to mention transference/countertransference, how is that related?

 

[Punky143]

I have experienced exactly what you have and sometimes I don't have structural experiences leaving me deeply depressed, confused and hopeless. My T and I are working on it and its the scariest to experience and I'm sure to watch. Wish I had better advice

 

[Keen]

I have experienced exactly what you have and sometimes I don't have structural experiences leaving me...

Thanks for your response! Just knowing other people have experienced it helps a lot!