I'm a therapist, I routinely work with trauma and I have complex PTSD. It's entirely possible to do this job with PTSD but there are things that you need to have in place to keep yourself safe and fit to practice.
1. Good supervision - by that I mean with someone who you trust to be completely open with about everything. If your current supervisor isn't that person then get a new one that is. Good supervision is a process that focuses on you in your work with clients, that helps you identify what's happening for you and how that influences your work with clients. Your supervisor needs to know about you dissociating in session to help you work out triggers and see if you have other triggers you don't know about. They'll also help you identify what you should do if that happens and may suggest you take a break from practice to resolve it. A good supervisor won't recommend you stop practice unless it's really not safe - in which case ethically you'd want to stop for a while anyway.
2. Good therapy. You've been training and seeing a psychologist for 8 years and only now are looking at your own trauma? What have you been doing up until now. I'd suggest you force yourself to be as open and vulnerable in therapy as possible, let her really press your buttons and see where it takes you. Consider a new therapist - depending on where you're training a clinical psychologist may not be your best bet as a therapist. Moderate your client work while you deal with your own process.
3. Recognise that you need a strong professional peer group who know you well enough to know when you're struggling, and listen to them even if you think you're ok - they'll see things in you that you don't.
4. Practice good self care at all times, have fun, exercise, socialise, rest, eat well - look after yourself properly. It'll help you deal with the rigours of the job.
5. Learn from your clients, let them matter to you, don't emotionally distance or disengage to keep yourself safe. If you find yourself doing that get back to therapy, take it to supervision, pull back on your client load. If it's still too hard to emotionally engage you may need to consider different work. People who are struggling deserve someone who cares and sees them as an individual rather than as a set of symptoms to be cured - I'm not saying you do this but if you keep dissociating in session the temptation will be there to half listen to keep yourself present.
You're still in training, use the time to get a grip on this - you'll never be more supported than you are now and your tutors, supervisor, therapist will want you to do well. I remember being terrified that I was too "damaged" to help others and really struggled to tell about what is quite an extensive trauma history. Instead of suggesting I quit, my "team" helped me make my experience something I could use productively in the support of others and helped me learn what safe practice would look like for me.
You're asking your clients to come to you and be completely open and honest about things they find hard, shameful and traumatising. You need to be able to do the same both to heal from your own experience and so that you know what it's truly like on the other side - which will give you compassion, patience, care and respect for your clients.
Good luck with the rest of your training.
