F*cking equating a bad relationship with rape/trauma/ptsd

[Kizifur]

So now you know this guy makes rape jokes.

Venting is fine, but what are you actually going to do?

Let it go and wait til he actually rapes you?

Or get out now before you get raped, retraumatized, and set back your healing by year's or even decades.

The ball is in your court. The decision is up to you. I hope you make the right one.

 

[Odu]

So now you know this guy makes rape jokes.

Venting is fine, but what are you actually going to do?

Let it go and wa...

Adding...

No guy makes this kind of joke without it already being on his mind.

Think about it.

Pretty much ALL jokes have a seed in reality, right?

Jokes like this are a way for people to air their feelings in a socially acceptable way.

It would be like saying to someone of African descent in the middle of the woods "I could lynch you and nobody would hear it!" Disgusting, am I right? Nobody would hesitate for a SECOND to say that this joke was wrong, but the rape joke is not so bad?

I hate rape culture!

 

[Wihir]

I have severe PTSD, but it's not from being raped. I can't imagine how much that must hurt. I think there are many varieties of PTSD that manifest themselves in many different ways. People who try to fake it to get sympathy or benefits from the VA are vile, because they add to the stigma and endanger the progress in society that those of us with severe PTSD have made. My sympathy and healing thoughts to anyone who has PTSD as a result of rape or the threat of it.

 

[Bekiru]

Pretty much ALL jokes have a seed in reality, right?

Nope. Jokes are meant to make people laugh. Most have no basis in reality. If you doubt that just listen to children telling jokes. Just because your joke is bad/distasteful/inappropriate doesn't mean you intended others harm.

 

[Buso]

Nope. Jokes are meant to make people laugh. Most have no basis in reality. If you doubt that just listen to children te...

Two different things. There are jokes, as in puns, the usual openers of "So a dog and a cat (fill in whatever) walk into a bar...", knock-knock jokes, etc. And then there are comments disguised as jokes that are very telling of what the person's character really is, and it is very dark.

 

[Canuh]

I remember in one of my early undergraduate theater classes that we laugh because we feel superior to someone. So the joke teller is trying by whatever means necessary to get us to feel superior.
Two riggers walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
It's funny because you feel superiors to the two guys that walked into a bar. (and it's a play on words)

Luis CK's jokes are dark but we wind up feeling uncomfortably superior to the protagonist (often himself)
Those are often based in reality.

None of that ok's the idea of using rape as subject matter.

 

[Ihe]

Two different things. There are jokes, as in puns, the usual openers of "So a dog and a cat (fill in whatever) walk into...

Exactly what I meant!

 

[Ebirah]

Just because your joke is bad/distasteful/inappropriate doesn't mean you intended others harm.

OP here. I agree with this.

I really don't believe one bit that that joke has any likelihood of preceding sexual assault or rape. I just believe all people are capable of all things under the right circumstances/pressures/influences. My anger was much more about everything thereafter. I'm actually not particularly sensitive about rape jokes anymore. I was mostly mad about everything that came thereafter. Especially claiming to have flashbacks or drawing a parallel between being triggered and actively blaming someone for your past experiences, I guess.

 

[Camezo]

Okay. So in all fairness, he was working off limited information & clearly thinking with his cock; and you were working off low blood sugar.

I still think he's either really f*cking young, or an idiot, or both.

 

[Onip]

I love how we're now defending rape jokes. OMG.

 

[Fukep]

I don't think anyone is defending rape jokes. I think the point was just because someone makes a rape joke doesn't mean they're about to commit rape.

 

[Pezeja]

I think a whole lot of communication skills are needed on both sides, to be honest. Getting heated achieves what you wrote -- stalemate -- relationship problem -- nothing solved -- nothing gained.