Death Help?

[Deleted member 41765]

@SheilaKathy Thank you for responding. I think I will never "get over" this, but I would really really love for it to not to hurt as much as it does. Also, I feel as though I should apologize to you for my use of language.

 

[gealach]

@ShikibuZ it does get better, over time. Anniversaries are hard though, and birthdays, and other significant dates. Those days might always be tough. You're still grieving the loss of your friend, be gentle with yourself. Can you remember something good about her? Something that made you laugh?

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Exactly six months ago a radiant and giving person senselessly had her life taken away. The Earth is...

One day, you'll discover that you're just a tiny bit less angry, less hurt, and less bewildered. Being the thoughtful, compassionate person that you are, that may be several years from now. Acceptance may not be possible. Resignation is.

 

[Deleted member 41765]

Can you remember something good about her? Something that made you laugh?

Yes, always.

One day, you'll discover that you're just a tiny bit less angry, less hurt, and less bewildered.

I look forward to that day.

Thank you both and LOVELovelove.

 

[Deleted member 41765]

So. I learned inadvertently that the murderer goes before a judge on August 8th. I resent this knowledge as it came to me via facebook via a mutual "friend" who has insisted on sharing her every thought process regarding my friend's death, on social media, at length, for the last 6 months. I have intentionally tried to distance myself from this.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Shiki, I sense that you're ready - or maybe needing - to talk about her. I'm here, if you need a shoulder.

 

[gealach]

I resent this knowle...

This is how that person is processing their emotions. It's good that you're distancing yourself, since their sharing/oversharing is a trigger for you. How are you feeling about the court date?

 

[Deleted member 41765]

@brokenEMT Unsure. The perpetrator had a history--was released from prison and ordered to wear a GPS monitor three days before the murder. He's been held without bail, charged with first degree and I suspect he will be locked up for quite some time. How do I feel about this? I honestly don't know, thank you for posing the question...full of rage at a broken system that let him back on the streets in the first place? Fearful he'll somehow slip through the cracks again?

@Mal Content Thank you for the invitation and for your caring.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

So. I learned inadvertently that the murderer goes before a judge on August 8th. I resent this knowle...

I am sure that in addition to rage, this all makes you feel helpless. You want it to all be over. You want peace and justice for your friend's spirit. You may feel like you should be at the court to support her, but feel frozen and not emotionally able to do so. While your friend outwardly sensationalizes this on Facebook, it is possible that she is an extrovert and this is the only way that she knows how to deal with it and heal in her own way. We are all so different in how we handle things. I lovelovelove you. (((ShikibuZ)))

 

[Deleted member 41765]

this all makes you feel helpless.

I definitely feel helpless. (((Tex Cat)))

And this is sensationalizing "friend" is involved in the theater scene, so a yes to the extrovert thing, although at times it seems like she just wants attention...(I suppose the same could be said of me for posting here)...

 

[Deleted member 41765]

It's been several weeks since I've learned the news and am only just now able to share on this thread. My friend's murderer has plead guilty and received a minimum of 30 years with no chance of parole. While I am relieved there will be no trial, I'm having trouble understanding this sentence. Ultimately, what I want is for this man to never have the opportunity to hurt anyone else. But 30 years? Is that what a woman's life is worth? It's almost like a slap in the face.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

It's been several weeks since I've learned the news and am only just now able to share on this thread....

Okay, I looked it up. What I think it means is that he will be in prison with no question of release for 30 years. At that point, he will have a parole hearing and they will determine if he is still a threat to society. If so, he will remain in prison. I honestly believe that there is no possible justice in existence for the taking of a life. She didn't deserve what happened to her and it makes me very angry and sad. I will hope and pray for you to have peace. I believe that her spirit is at peace and that she showed you signs in nature that it will be okay. You will be okay. Love you, friend!