Other Hypersexuality

[NewBeginnings]

I think my husband has crossed over to hyper sexual and I am absolutely the opposite - I said before we average more than usual for a marriage of 17 years but he is engaging in the middle of the night- before bed and today - this morning. I tried to gently share but he thinks I am just playing hard to get. I am not sure what changed for him but the effect on me isn't good- I am super anxious because I lack any decent communication skills. I am going to stop posting - today has been hard.

 

[Deleted member 42783]

Just remember that you have the right to say no. You do. I know it doesn't feel like it but you do. Write it out for your husband and show him if it's too hard to talk. Or, show him your post.

 

[NewBeginnings]

Just remember that you have the right to say no. You do. I know it doesn't feel like it but you do....

I think I ought to have a reply but don't. Just reading your response and thinking about challenges me. You are right. I shouldn't be scared to talk with my husband. I should feel like I can so no. BUT I am not there so I have no real reason to complain. my posts here are for me only - I do not share this outlet. the writing suggestion is being considered....sorry - thanks for replying.

 

[anonymous]

This is really hard and I can only talk about it by being naughty. Naughty me, bad me, dirty me. It's a completely different perspective and I'm actually someone else. My fantasy life always has made my real life impossible because I can't function with the images I have in my head about sex and what I want to do or have done to me. I was always struggling so hard to block it while around others. It leaves me so I don't fit anywhere. I don't ever do it but I can think about it now even with other people around which I could never do. (I only could think about it while having sex). I have a partner who knows all this and she (accepts me? Likes me? IDK it works best when I don't mention it, just do it.) It is really great and making me so much stronger to be with by someone who knows I'm like this/there is this part of me that I can access now. If I could do what I wanted it'd be self harm, so I'm appreciative of my partner who keeps me from having to do that. I told my therapist about something I do to myself. She said "I'm sorry you have to do that." It haunted me all week and I txt her I think and said "your right, I have to." : (

 

[the-lovely-poetess]

My take on this is different - I'm glad I'm not having sex with lots of people anymore. I think having...

I share a similar point of view to you Shellbell, I'm also glad I'm not having sex with lots of different people anymore. It really just created havoc in my life and was so so dangerous. I was 15 when my hypersexuality really peaked and I began exploring and actively seeking dangerous sexual activities with grown men. Abstaining from sex and masturbation was really hard but really helped me to seek other coping skills to deal with the things I usually turned to sexual comfort for. I was fantasizing constantly and it was difficult to attend school, and I immediately accepted any possibility of a sexual encounter regardless of my own feelings it was just this need that had to be sated. The reckless sex really damaged my interpersonal relationships and it was hard to be in a relationship and not cheat. But it can get better, I'm engaged now with rare fantasies and a loving fiance who understands it's all a part of ptsd and has nothing to do with him.

 

[Joshua1996]

I have been struggling with this...
I ended up joining chat rooms & sexting strangers to help ease it but , I know it's really dangerous.