My Medication Reduction

[Jimmy1]

In 2006 they hammered me with medication, I was on about seven different types and none seemed to work. Then I turned to self medication and took myself off all the prescribed. In 2009 I went back on meds and sobered up, also took the 12 steps for my addiction.

So over the last four years or more I have been pretty stable occasionally changing a med or two here and there as new ones came in, but I knew I could never remove myself from any because I was constantly around stressors, loud noises, army convoys, fast movers constantly flying over town, the artillery up in the training area, and just the fast pace of the city.

Now I have moved out to the peace and quiet I am slowly reducing the amount of medication I am on. I have halved everything except my sleeping one, yet that is the one with all the weight gain attached, but it works.
It has been a week now. I am finding myself snapping at the other half, and I hope it's just withdrawal symptoms, I really do. I will give it another week and see if things improve and my body adjusts before going any further.

I have been physically active as much as I can, getting up in the morning and working in the yard, it's better than any gym. I just pay for it the next day though.

I just hope I have not been too eager with the whole reducing thing. Maybe I should have waited a few more months, after all, we have only been here a little over six weeks.

You guys that have taken yourself off your meds, any comments??

 

[Sludge]

In 2006 they hammered me with medication, I was on about seven different types and none seemed to work. Then I turned to self medication and took myself off all the prescribed. In 2009 I went back on meds and sobered up, also took the 12 steps for my addiction.

So over the last four years or more I have been pretty stable occasionally changing a med or two here and there as new ones came in, but I knew I could never remove myself from any because I was constantly around stressors, loud noises, army convoys, fast movers constantly flying over town, the artillery up in the training area, and just the fast pace of the city.

Now I have moved out to the peace and quiet I am slowly reducing the amount of medication I am on. I have halved everything except my sleeping one, yet that is the one with all the weight gain attached, but it works.
It has been a week now. I am finding myself snapping at the other half, and I hope it's just withdrawal symptoms, I really do. I will give it another week and see if things improve and my body adjusts before going any further.

I have been physically active as much as I can, getting up in the morning and working in the yard, it's better than any gym. I just pay for it the next day though.

I just hope I have not been too eager with the whole reducing thing. Maybe I should have waited a few more months, after all, we have only been here a little over six weeks.

You guys that have taken yourself off your meds, any comments??

Hey manno, I'm pretty sure we disagree on meds and pretty much everything else to the point we would likely come to blows in person, but I speak as one of the very few for whom meds did nothing but make things worse. As I have stated ad nauseum, I f*cking hate meds and the f*cktards that push them. Problem is I know a lot of combat vets like us that have obscenely amazing success with them. For the folks that pills do good for, OUTf*ckINGSTANDING. For the rest of us, line those legal, licensed pushers up against the wall with the lawyers and politicians and hand me some rounds....

Living with the Beast meds free is exhausting. It is a full time job to keep your shit together. You have to limit your alcohol intake to pitiful levels and watch your diet like a hawk. You have to invent ways to cope in a healthy manner and you spend what seems like an eternity alone and bottled up. I do not have the vocabulary to describe what I go through on a daily basis to keep my shit together. I could explain it in science-geek speake, but I barely understand half that shit myself. In short, you fell like a liar 24/7 because you know what you are, but have to bullshit your way through each day because you are surrounded by mouthbreathers that haven't a clue why the suck air, let alone exist.

For me booze is the biggest issue. Just two beers f*cks my brain function up for a week. I freely admit I am an alcoholic. f*ck, I'm proud to be one. I f*cking love ethanol in all of its consumable forms! But I also have just enough brain cells left to know that it does horrible things to my personality and processes. I freely admit I have cried because of my self imposed teetotaling. I still drink, but only in small amounts and with a minimum of 30 days in between. By being strict against my alcoholic tendencies, I find strength in dealing with the beast.

Not sure if that is what you are looking for or not. I have been awake for 42 hours straight as I write this and needless to say very little is making sense to me right now.

 

[Sarg]

Sludge, I know there are physiological changes to the brain due to the beast. Isn't there a change in the chemistry of the brain as well? I know they throw SSRIs around a bunch to try to undo synaptic changes. Didn't work for me. None of them. But I know some that praise them.

Maybe it's some have happened upon a chemical (med) that restored brain function enough to function. I found the med for me but the problem with it is altho it allows me to function now, I'm burning days off the far end. Tough trade off. But my choice.

Sarg

 

[Jimmy1]

Sarge, your dead on there mate, if you take a pet scan of the brain of a person with PTSD and one without you will see a significant change, so therefore, the chemicals in the brain are different too.

When it comes down to it, if you can survive without taking medication then good for you, each to their own. I know of Vietnam Vets who now have failed livers and kidneys due to long term medication, and I know of cancer sufferers the same, what can you do.

Good on you Sludge for managing it and we would not come to blows. But if you came on the forum and asked for help because you could not handle the symptoms then what would you expect me to say.

It's also true that they push shit loads of meds to people at the start. They think a blanket covering it, they might get the lucky one that works. Ultimately they are all meant to be temporary, but you tell me how many veterans can stay on medication and get all the therapy they need to function in society and get off the meds. It doesn't happen. The majority get comfortable and don't go back.

I wish I could still drink, but I would not have a wife if I did.

 

[steve1]

I read these posts and wonder what the future holds. I'm at the other end of the spectrum having only been diagnosed this year. I'm on a med regieme that seems to work, or as Jimmy said, "blankets it". I joke about my DR using the "Chinese menu approach" to prescribing my meds. That approach has him saying, "OK, I'll give Steve 1 drug form column A, 1 from column B & 2 more from columns C&D."
The thought of taking these meds for the rest of my life does not appeal to me. However, the self-medication & self-destructive behaiviour of the past is gone. When I look back I shudder at the craziness of it all. I'm going to a gym to work of the 30lb that I've gained on the meds. There is finally some order in my life after 15 years of chaos. Maybe some day I'll be able to discuss a plan to get off the meds, but for now, they're working.
I'm single right now & I'm not sure how in the world you guys maintain relationships and deal with PTSD.

 

[Chin Strapped]

The only med I got on with was Weed, but it costs allot and ultimately made me more depressed. I tried two legal meds and failed to stick to them; I just don't Want them. Booze is a right f*cker for me too, I average a session every few months.

Once you have had meds in your system and become physically and emotionally dependent, that's a whole New battle you're in. Drug reduction should always be carried out in small steps.

People's social situation/stability and severity of their condition at the time, will dictate whether they will want meds surely? When you are that f*cked, you do/take whatever you can. When you are in a better place you come off.

I should have took meds 3 years ago, I needed them then. Instead it was booze and weed (I still crave weed frequently) Now I struggle, drug free (beers here and there) but have a bit more know how about ptsd and have a great deal of positivity and stability in my life. It's still a battle, however I can concentrate strictly on one not multiple battles.

Give yourself a chance Jimmy and reduce wisely. You sound like you a're ready mate.

 

[JarHed]

On a related note I'd like to mention something about weight control and meds. We all know that some meds will cause us to gain weight no matter what we do.

Personally I've been having problems with my joints in my lower body as my weight has started to creep up a little at a time. I recently stated at Weight Watchers. I know what you're probably thinking but it's not just for extremely heavy people. It's more about learning how to rethink about how you eat, what you eat and when. You still need to exercise to keep it moving along. but I've already lost 10lbs in about a month. My goal is in total 25lbs, it may not sound like much but at my age it's very hard to loose weight. If nothing else it makes you look at what you're putting in your body and how that can affect everything. Google it if you want more info, they're international. Or ask away and I'll do my best to answer any questions you might have.

It's hard to stay fit when you have physical problems but nothing ventured, nothing gained or lost in this case. Just wanted to interject this as it's an issue for many, gaining weight, from the meds we're on. Besides all the other side effects.

 

[Jimmy1]

Thanks guys, it seems like a great thread has started and I would appreciate everyone else's point of view either positive or negative.

Just adding to it, a lot of new guys start medication, give it a week and then dismiss it as not working, they try another and the same, after about six different types of meds they make a claim that meds don't work. Angle made a good point in another thread when he talked about keeping an open mind. Well I agree with him and you should keep an open mind about everything both prescribed medication, alternative medication, psychology, alternative treatments, etc, etc, and diet like Jar has mentioned.
I at one stage went on to Jenny Craig, I don't know whether this is international at all, but they provide you with the food and you organise your exercise regimen. At the same time as I did this I went of 'Avanza/Remeron/Mirtazapine' or whatever it's called where you reside. I was going to the gym five days a week as well as doing 30 minutes on the treadmil at home. I lost 20 kg or 44 pounds. I looked great. The problem was that I was always starving and was not sleeping. I tried all the different sleeping medications Immovane, Stilnox, etc but to no avail, so I went back on the Avanza. I put on 10 lbs straight away then I had a knee blow out and was told I could not keep the program I was on going otherwise I would have to have a knee replacement by the age of 50. So I cut it back and put on another 10 lbs, then had a shoulder blowout where I had a slap lesion (I tore the tendon off the bone) eight weeks of doing nothing was the doctors orders. I have only recently got back from the spine specialist and he has told me to back off too otherwise I face another bout of back surgery to replace further disc's in my back. I also could not handle the food that Jenny Craig was supplying, it was too expensive, so now I weigh in at 120 kg, 266 pounds, or 19 stone.

If I was an animal they would have put me down.

So where do I go from here? I don't listen to the doctors and get out in the yard every day just about to cut down trees, clean up sections of the acre we own, stack wood. The problem I have is that night after that I lay in agony and no pain killer works.

I went back into the Army Base here and got the last few cans of harden the f*ck up I could find and have been trying those, but they have not put a dint in it either. So I am suffering in silence and won't let it beat me.

Where do I go from here.

Will be speaking to the psych soon as I have been researching Duromine or even ADHD medication as there is excellent research into how it helps people with PTSD. It can also be used as an appetite suppressant. I am going to also slow down with the exercise, still walk every day and if I don't work in the yard I will throw around a few light weights.

Anyway as a wise man once said.

nothing ventured, nothing gained .

 

[Sleeping Dragon]

I've been on drugs for the treatment of cancer as a result of Agent Orange exposure for the last thirteen years. Before that, several months of radiation therapy. And before that, surgery. During the entire process I was continuously asked about how each effected me.

My answer was always the same. "Considering I'd be dead without treatment, the side effects aren't that bad. And one more thing, compared to the anxiety, rage, guilt and depression associated with my PTSD, I barely notice any effects the treatments cause".

Here's the point my Brothers and Sisters. It is what it is, and ya have to go with what works. If you can't make it through the day without medication, for God sake take it. But, whatever you do, don't beat yourself up over needing it.

Tomorrow, if you can, try a day without it. If things get worse to a point that you have to have the drugs, use them. Most important of all, be honest with yourself and those around you. If you're using so you can party, you're a fool. If you're using so you can get through the day, you're a wounded warrior.

SD

 

[Spock]

Due to delayed onset (or delayed understanding), I first got on Keppra for seizures then figured out I had PTSD & later TBI; in reality they had developed in the reverse order of how I discovered them. Trying to hold it together without knowing slowly lead up to my head exploding with migraines until the Grand Mal. Of course there were all the other primary issues, avoidance yet seeking hard confrontation, isolation, hyper vig, anger, etc. But with Keppra preventing seizures I had a solid excuse with the docs to not change meds because I'd have to stop driving for 6-12 months, too tough with 2 kids to get around. So I had to work on other techniques, coping skills and lock down my triggers to survive and not kill myself until I could retire (get the hell outta the military). So, although I'm obviously different after combat, I'm also a far tougher person, albeit more edgy. So I must find as much peace as possible. I do need an occasional Lunesta for sleep & Ibuprofen for pain but used them sparingly. I know I'll likely be on Keppra for life. Listening to some of the horror stories of meds in group keeps me determined to avoid adding any if I can keep it together. No easy answers. Always comes back to our favorite saying: baby steps...

 

[JarHed]

Just a note about my post concerning weight loss re:meds and weight watchers.

With weight watchers you eat real foods, they don't supply their own. It's not about starving yourself. Your allowed snacks, just more healthful ones. It's rethinking about how you eat and what you put in your body,

But as far as some meds side effects are concerned, if weight gain is one it will be very hard to loose weight while on them. It's hard to find a balance. If you can get your meds in order first, that would seem the most important. Then, in time work of the other things. Nothing is easy, ever. But don't beat yourself up about things either, that won't help.

 

[Jimmy1]

Thanks Jar.

I think a lot of the problem is 'Depression'. We all suffer from it, and a large percentage of people in the world will eat or drink to try and cure it, or should I say eat, drink, or do drugs.

I have had a pretty much zero care factor with what I weigh of late until now. Now that the rest of me is falling apart because I am overweight I have to do something.

So going to the psych in a couple of weeks will be great. Hopefully they have found a better substitute.

Cheers