How to deal with "personal" nightmares

[EveHarrington]

I'm sorry if this may seem silly but I'm at a loss right now. I've had tons of nightmares but was always "spared" in the sense that they weren't personal, and weren't intricately involved with people I know. But good god, last night was f*cking rough! One nightmare was about someone close to me who raped me and another was a deep betrayal by my mother and sister. Neither of these things is anywhere close to reality, just my fears playing out (CSA survivor). I'm pretty sure there were more that I just can't remember. How do you shake off this horrible feeling? Now I'm scared shitless that three people closest to me are going to hurt me (even though I know rationally they aren't). Thank you. Really just want these bad feelings to go away!

 

[+littlebird]

I don't have much advice, but I wanted to say how sorry I am you're going through this. My nightmares are usually very personal, and they often have a nasty emotional "hangover" effect.

One thing I have found to be helpful is to get out of bed right away. Go get a snack and a drink, say hi to a pet, do something to get the dream out of my mind a bit. If I stay in bed the effect seems to be much worse, and I often go right back into another dream.

I hope this is ok to say, but I will pray for your dreams tonight. May your night be filled with comfort, peace, and healing sleep.

 

[EveHarrington]

I don't have much advice, but I wanted to say how sorry I am you're going through this. My nightma...

Thank you. I'll try to remember that for next time, if there is a next time. I lingered in bed and went back to sleep. (But no new nightmares.)

 

[Alli D87]

Good advice +littlebird. If I don't get up and sort of shake it off I go right back to sleep and the dream seems to just continue or restart. It really does help to distract yourself for a spell before going back to sleep.

 

[EveHarrington]

Holy crap I don’t even remember those nightmares. Thank god.

 

[Survivor3]

I still get nightmares from over a decade ago. It's got to the point where I don't want to go to bed because of it. I wake up feeling really depressed which is a crap way to start the day. ?

 

[grit]

HI Eve,
Are these dreams? Sorry when people say nightmares sometimes I do not understand if that means anxiety or dreams.

In my 20s, after I moved out of my mom's home, I used to have re-occurring dreams about going back living with my mother and her taunting me like ooh you are back who is gonna protect you now with devilish laugh. they were frightening dreams.

They were going on for while and also weirdly my siblings had similar dreams after they moved out too. to me it was like processing the trauma because i was finally safe!

I feel similar reaction to your nightmares. Maybe you are in a safe space now and they need to be processed so they are coming up for work. Do you journal them? I would recommend you write down your feelings as soon as you wake up every time and see over time, how you are feeling or changes. I do not recommend ignoring them or trying to suppress them. nightmares hardly ever go away on their own until they are dealt with. Also I read dream books including Freud's famous one (which I highly recommend), and dreams are reflection of the dreamer's subconscious. the people in the dreams are props demonstrating primitive or trauma feelings or experiences. It is possible you may have unfinished business about how your mother dealt with your trauma then.

after I got over my mother's threats in my dream, I started the "bus dreams" that went on for over 20yrs until I went to therapy. I could not process them because they were unpleasant/annoying/inexplainable and frustrating and extremely repetitive. But in therapy, they went away. So I think my mind, body and psychic were asking me to start uncovering my trauma and I was in denial most of my adult life.

 

[EveHarrington]

HI Eve,
Are these dreams? Sorry when people say nightmares sometimes I do not understand if that means anxiety or dreams.

In my 20s, after I moved out of my mom's home, I used to have re-occurring dreams about going back living with my mother and her taunting me like ooh you are back who is gonna protect you now with devilish laugh. they were frightening dreams.

They were going on for while and also weirdly my siblings had similar dreams after they moved out too. to me it was like processing the trauma because i was finally safe!

I feel similar reaction to your nightmares. Maybe you are in a safe space now and they need to be processed so they are coming up for work. Do you journal them? I would recommend you write down your feelings as soon as you wake up every time and see over time, how you are feeling or changes. I do not recommend ignoring them or trying to suppress them. nightmares hardly ever go away on their own until they are dealt with. Also I read dream books including Freud's famous one (which I highly recommend), and dreams are reflection of the dreamer's subconscious. the people in the dreams are props demonstrating primitive or trauma feelings or experiences. It is possible you may have unfinished business about how your mother dealt with your trauma then.

after I got over my mother's threats in my dream, I started the "bus dreams" that went on for over 20yrs until I went to therapy. I could not process them because they were unpleasant/annoying/inexplainable and frustrating and extremely repetitive. But in therapy, they went away. So I think my mind, body and psychic were asking me to start uncovering my trauma and I was in denial most of my adult life.

Yes, these were actual dreams.

A year later and I have no recollection of these dreams. No idea who raped me in that dream, no idea how my mom and sister betrayed me.