Relationship My struggle with my wife who has ptsd and bipolar

[Justmehere]

Your church hasn’t reached out to you? They clearly want to help by offering character witnesses.

Go. To. Them. Ask for help.

It’s not entirely on them to reach out you, yeah that would be so nice and good if they did, but don’t let that hold you back. If they are the ones recording her, you could be dragging them into possibly illegal recordings and stuff. Don’t be your own defender. Get help.

I did try legal aide. They told me this was too complicated for their time. I also tried some veteran services aid, same thing.

Simplify it. A professional who says something is too complex is more likely to help if you get others on board.

Go consult with a criminal defense lawyer first. I’d be shocked if you can’t find a single one to do a consult for free.

The rape accusation is likely what the divorce lawyers are worried about.

Go find some counseling for you too. Not when you get the better job, but now. You haven’t mentioned even trying.

Once you have consulted with them, go back to legal aid with a more specific limited request for representation and help. Once you can say you have consulted with others and that more limited list is what you need help with, people will be more likely to be able to help.

You got the kids you could lose, and yes, the cats too. But seriously, don’t lose sight of those kids.

 

[EveHarrington]

I’m not trying to be rude but the cats are the least of your troubles. Do what you have to do and if you can’t keep the cats, then rehome them. Do NOT let this woman move back in with you!

My money is on a personality disorder.

 

[littleoc]

I love cats a lot and am worried about them too, but if you have to? Get them rehomed. The human children are important too.

If you get your cats onto a waitlist at a no-kill shelter now, then you'll have less to worry about.

 

[Gs172003]

I'm sorry but screw the cats you have bigger fish to fry. Do what you need to for your kids. #1. She is seriously screwing them up and believe me it's a HELL of alot easier to prevent than to treat. You do NOT want to have to deal with what happens to your kids later if you don't get this taken care of. The cats..Deal with them last. Not trying to be mean but I have three kids that are the product of mistakes I made in not getting out of a really bad marriage quick enough. And he wasn't even their dad. They are still paying for it 15 years later.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Do you want your kids to end up with PTSD like your wife?

 

[Gs172003]

Do you want your kids to end up with PTSD like your wife?

^ THIS!!!!!!!!

 

[Deanna]

Your wife hasn't been back to her psychologist either. There could have been some other med, other than the one she droped that would have worked ( Jesus, there is always another med) I'm sorry you're going through this situation. Have faith and do the footwork like, re-homing the cats and retainer on an attorney, pretty quick. Go pick up the kids.

 

[Fadeaway]

So my only question is why are you not 100% no contact with her? get your self a tape recorder and record any contact you do have to have with her regarding the children. Do not speak to her unless it is absolutely necessary for the care of your children and not at all if it isn't being recorded.

 

[chiara vietto]

Your wife has serious CPTSD issues, see a counselor as soon as possible. If she is on drugs you should get your daughters back from her. Unfortunately, the things she is saing to you are completely irrational. Nobody is perfect, and you may have made some mistakes but she could have discussed things with you and you didn't force her to do anything. Obviously, due he past she doesn't have a strong sense of self and consensual realationship. ..its a blurred..
My partner of 20 years, 4 months ago started identifying me with uis abuser and telling me that i am going to jail...believe me the only one risking jail is him...
It is very hard because we tend to takes accusations personal. Please see a counselor and protect yourselves. No more sex with her ..its dangerous for you. .as she doesn't know what she is doing and she is not rational. Your daughter are your responsabilty. I talked with a very experienced trauma therapist and unfortunately there is nothing that the spouse can do if they don't want to help themselves .
best
Chiara

 

[Milo's papa]

@joehogan76, I'm sorry to hear that someone has to live with that type of hell.
I'm Bipolar and have PTSD, so I know what type of hell it can be.

You need to get your kids out of that situation as soon as you can. There can be nothing good coming out of her having custody of them. It will no telling how many years of therapy are ahead for those 2.
I wish you and your children all the best.

I pray your wife gets the help she needs and stay on her meds. Going off them feels great, but you have no control over what you do. I have been told way too many times that "you always have the choice as to whether or not you control what you do". I'm here to tell you that that's not true. Bipolar disorder is s chemical Imbalance in your brain. You can control it with meds, but if you don't take your meds you loose control. It's that simple. I've been fortunate enough to only have had one episode in 34 years. I'm hope to never have another
That's why I'm religious about taking my meds.

If I can be of any assistance to you, please let me know.

 

[wishball1971]

Hello all. I've been through hell the last six and a half months. I am a christian, and so is my wife, and God has...

I am very shocked that the rape line said that you raped your wife. I have been sexually assaulted in the past, I don't agree that you raped your wife, it was mutual. However...if your wife was triggered during the act (as I can relate with her on this) it can make her feel like she is reliving it again. I know for myself I just need a little space to myself to make sense of it and compartmentalize it that the feeling was from the past, it was a result of a trigger.

This sounds like a messed up situation. If I were you, my first and foremost priority would be makin...

Great point! Definitely want to protect the kids. Imagine the life your wife is living - but it is now your kids because they have been assaulted.

 

[Deleted member 44240]

Hello all. I've been through hell the last six and a half months. I am a christian, and so is my wife, and God has...

@Joe Hogan, I totally feel your pain! My ex broke up with me and has me emotionally and mentally broken. Through all of the lies and irrational behavior, it’s been pure hell! I haven’t gone through what you’ve gone through, but nonetheless, it’s been quite a horrendous plight. My hat’s off to you for having to persevere through this kind of ugly situation.